Finding it hard to hide early pregnancy in social settings?

[littlepeanuthopes]

Hello all 💕
Very nervously joining this wonderful community. I got my first ever BFP yesterday (4 weeks) and I am so happy about it. I don't want to get too excited but I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that all goes well.

We have decided to keep it private until the first scan. Is anyone else finding it hard to hide the food/drink restrictions from family and friends? I hadn't realised how much food is out of bounds.

Especially going into Christmas everyone wants to make dinner/drinks plans and I feel like I need to make excuses to avoid having to tell people.

I had a lunch meeting today and it felt like a marathon trying to dodge the wine, undercooked meat and salad leaves that were on the table without being caught out.

I feel like I want to hibernate and not see anyone but I don't think I can manage :)

Anyway, great to be here and wishing everyone a very health and happy experience.💛

Alcohol is the hard one for me because it feels obvious to suddenly say you won't drink. Sometimes I say I'll just have a small one and then just don't drink it/discreetly discard it during the evening.

Or you could 'incidentally' say you're detoxing or on a diet due to migraines or something, and refuse alcohol based on that.

Salad is fine to eat though. Congrats and good luck! 💕

’I don’t want to drink because I took a painkiller earlier today, had a headache’, ‘I’m taking a night off because I had a big night out last weekend’, ‘I’m just finishing a course of antibiotics and can’t drink this week’. Congratulations 💐

I am not even pregnant yet (we are TTC) and already worry about this 😂 as someone who will often drink on weekend social occasions and DH will drive I'm dreading the day when I have to say no because I think people will think it's so obvious why!!

Following for any helpful insight for my future! Congrats on your BFP

Accept the drink, just don’t drink it, honestly I got through a whole birthday weekend away doing this & nobody knew.

Or go to the bar for your own drink & ask for a lemonade/soda in a gin glass.

With food it’s much easier, just take only what you want to, don’t comment on what you ‘can’t’ have, nobody will even notice.

The minute you start making up ‘antibiotics’ lies everyone will guess.

The odd bit of undercooked meat is fine (was discussed on our baby bus not too long ago and this was one of the ladies' midwife's response) I've never heard of salad not being okay in pregnancy and just say you have a new found love of gin and ask at the bar for lemonade in a gin glass, noone will know if it's got gin in it or not unless they're watching you order which would be weird. Most of all, enjoy your pregnancy! And for future reference, mcflurries are fine to eat during pregnancy

Genuinely asking- why can't you eat salad leaves?

Assuming you're in the UK, there's actually very little you can't eat if you look on the NHS website. A lot of the info online is from US sources where the food safety standards are less stringent so the recommendations are more restrictive.

I just complained of being hungover and unable to face a drink. Much less obvious than saying you're on antibiotics, which is basically the same as saying you're pregnant.

I just played up the lack of taxis availability (post brexit and covid there’s a real lack of drivers), “so I’m driving” [Daily Mail sad face].

I wouldn’t stress about it. You’ll find most people will suspect anyway and say “I knew it!” after you announce, but are generally too polite to say anything at the time.

Read “expecting better” by Emily Osher about the studies around food and drink that we believe without questionning. It made me much more relaxed in the first trimester

You're me, a year ago! (I found out a year ago today)

What I would say is that what feels very obvious to you actually isn't to other people. You may think it's glaringly obvious but a lot of people will generally be too wrapped up in their own affairs. You could order decoy drinks (nosecco etc) to take the heat off.

When it came down to it, certain people had an inkling but didn't say anything until after I announced it. It doesn't matter if people have suspicions - when the time comes you'll just be happy that people are happy for you!

Congratulations

If it’s a lunch meeting, can’t you just not drink because you’re working?! I’d almost certainly be sacked if I drank at lunchtime!

Thanks everyone for the insights. Very helpful! Ordering your own drink is a great idea actually plus taking a drink and just pretending your drinking is a good one too! The salad thing threw me off because I've read so much about them not cleaned properly in restaurants and the soil can cause issues to your baby but won't read into that one too much next time. Thanks again xx

If you say you’re on antibiotics you may as well have a giant neon flashing sign above your head screaming IM PREGNANT

as others say, just accept a small glass then don’t touch it. Salad leaves are fine to eat and I ate medium steak too. Congrats

The easy win is needing to drive (after work errand if lunchtime) - easily got through some family socials with no clues given by "losing" the debate about who's turn it was to drive. Lack of taxis/ unreliable public transport is good if it's a change in habits... Harder if actually staying away at the drinking location but "sponsored" dry month could deflect questions nicely.

That's howI figured out a family member was pregnant as her DH wasn't a drinker so always drove so her not drinking as she was driving was a big give away.

I'm vegetarian so there was very few food restrictions that affected me so it was only really alcohol I missed. We didn't keep it from people either which made it loads easier.

Just say you’re hungover and make up some story of something so hideously embarrassing that you supposedly did whilst hammered that no one will ever question you.

Thanks for all your suggestions! Will defo put some of these to good use ❤️

Well, the list seems to have got longer since I was last pregnant but these are the current guidelines in the U.K.

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/foods-to-avoid/

I recall a French friend visiting with armfuls of gorgeous cheeses, cold meats and wine. Told her I couldn’t eat any of it - she reckoned in France those things aren’t avoided in pregnancy. Even a small glass of wine was fine. Staple diet for them, I suppose.

My methods for hiding my lack of drinking:

I'm hungover.
I had a drink earlier and I'm driving.
I have commitments tomorrow I can't be hungover for or fuzzy headed.
I order my own drinks and get just tonic water, no gin. Or similar drinks eg, vodka and coke without the vodka.
Headache.
Order a drink and slowly pour away or trust a friend/partner to secretly drink yours.

Congratulations on your BFP 💜

Earlier in my pregnancy while out on social events I just went to the bar myself, ordered lemonade and asked them to put it in a gin glass. Or had a non-alcoholic cider (kopparberg) but poured it straight into a pint glass and discarded the bottle - I can confirm that no one suspected a thing!

Best just to not worry about it. Some people will notice, some won't. Someone might say something, most people won't even if they have guessed.

One of my team is pregnant. It's really obvious to me, just from how emotional she got the other day about something she would normally brush off and her standing with her hand resting on her stomach. Obviously when she does tell me I'll feign surprise.

Tying yourself up in knots trying to hide it is only going to draw more attention. If anyone asks why you aren't drinking I'd just say you don't fancy it. Keep it simple. And accept lots of people will already know you are pregnant, they are just usually polite enough not to say.