Almost into third trimester and struggling

[drV]

It's going to be a long post I am afraid.. really looking for some emotional support☹️

I am 25+1 and almost into the third trimester.. but struggling a lot due to various reasons..

Lost my dad to cancer when I was 13 weeks and I guess I was in denial all these days.. but recently I think all of it has dawned upon me and I miss him more than ever before 😢

Mum lives overseas, has sorted out her visa but will be in the UK only by early January. Finding it ever so difficult to cope with everything at home as the tiredness is coming back in haste..

No other family here and feels lonely at times. Husband is an absolute gem and has been ever so supportive in all sense from the very beginning.. and he is so happy to be welcoming a child after 2 MCs.. he literally did most of chores in first trimester and even now takes on most of the responsibilities at home despite his stressful job.. but I really feel guilty for letting him struggle on both fronts.. but I feel helpless at times, struggling to cope with tiredness..

Very anxious how this pregnancy will go on as I am classified as high risk and under consultant led care and fetal medicine specialist care.. has been in and out of antenatal assessment unit couple of times for reduced fetal movements but everything fine at the moment and really hoping it remains fine. But this anxiety is literally draining away the happiness of being pregnant and the fact I will be meeting my baby girl soonish 😰

Don't have a very big social circle as I moved to this country only a few years ago..

Afraid to seek help with perinatal mental health as this may (or may not, I am not sure) leave a black mark on my medical history as my profession is a highly sensitive one!

Just trying to hold everything together but sometimes I fail terribly, for example woke up at 3 am this morning and broke down completely😰

I know it's going to hard and I need to buckle up but sometimes I am only human and specially at this point, being hormonal only adds fuel to the fire🤦

Really looking for a hand hold and some advice how to cope with so many things going on at once😰

Thank you for reading xx

Really sorry to hear of your loss and your struggles at the moment. Pregnancy can be really difficult and the hormonal changes can play havoc with your emotions, not taking into account anything going on in your life.

Firstly, be kind to yourself so if you end up having a bit of a breakdown just let it out and don't beat yourself up about it. Keep talking to your husband, he sounds like he's really supportive and it may be hard for him work and picking up slack but that is the reality of parenthood, your day doesn't get to finish when you get home from work so he's showing that he is ready for that hopefully.

I would definitely get in touch with the perinatal mental health team, the whole service is confidential so despite your profession being a highly sensitive one, they should not be able to access your medical records without your consent. Employers are also not allowed to discriminate against you for having had mental health issues, without knowing your job it's a hard one but unless they can prove you are unsafe to do your job, then it's of no bearing and you sound fairly self aware so I'd hope you would get signed off sick if you felt like that.

I really feel for you, I was very depressed throughout my first pregnancy and didn't open up to anyone about it. I really regret that now as it just carried on postnatally and I missed out on enjoying the first year with my baby girl.

Pregnancy isn't all roses and joy, the end result is worth it but don't feel bad for not enjoying every second ❤️ take care of yourself xx

@Nursemumma92 thank you so much for your help... Will definitely talk to my midwife in my next appointment!