To be struggling so much and want to give up ?

[worrisomemum321]

Hi everyone.

Im nearly 6 months pregnant. And I just want to give up. I've been suffering a lot of health issues this pregnancy which make it hard for me as I have health anxiety. I've had to spend time in hospital for my health issues. I have a 6 year old and don't feel I can be the mum I need to be to them when im so unwell. Most days I don't want to get out of bed. I have support from my partner but he doesn't get it. He tries but he works long hours so I feel all alone. This pregnancy was planned and I feel like I've made a huge mistake by having another baby when it's made me struggle so much to take care of my first child. I live in fear everyday that my baby is going to die or im going to have a stillborn. I want to give up, the only reason I won't is for my living child. Im so depressed I don't know how im going to continue the rest of my pregnancy like this. I have a therapist but it doesn't help. I don't want to be in hospital as I'll be away from my child.

@worrisomemum321 I don’t have another child so I can’t relate on that front but I can with the health anxiety.
I had pretty severe health anxiety before falling pregnant (usually a trip to a specialist every month or so) and since falling pregnant it’s just spiralled (I’m only 7 weeks I’ve already paid for two scans privately and rang my gp 3 times about health concerns).
I found out I was pregnant after being on some meds for nerve damage and going on a couple of boozy nights I’d also just had the flu and all of this combined had convinced me of the worst and caused a lot of depression and anxiety at what people tell you should be a happy time.
What I can tell you though is this forum has really helped me. Hearing people who can relate and have gone through similar struggles.
I was advised to stop googling, stop obsessively scanning and given numerous other amazing pieces of advice.
I’m also going to start counselling.
What works for one person doesn’t work for another but I hope it brings you comfort that you aren’t alone and that this is a great place to find people who empathise.
My one bit of advice would be to try different therapists to the one you have and to explore different types of therapy as there’s many to choose from and often you find a specific one that does work for you.
Also please don’t be so hard on yourself as a mum! Your doing the best you can right now ❤️

The Googling definitely gets me. It's honestly like falling down a endless hole of horror stories. It's so hard because no one gets it. Health anxiety is hard enough, but then when you're actually going through a problem with your health it's life hell on earth. I wish I could live at the hospital honestly but I can't, I have to be strong for my other child. I'm just so worried about the pregnancy, worried about myself. It's so bad now that even simple things like cleaning and cooking I can't do. The house is a mess and I'm ordering takeaways most nights. I just want it to end.

@worrisomemum321 Of course, I can’t imagine!
I understand with the no one gets it and there’s nothing worse than when people tell you you’re just being silly because you’re not!
The most important thing right now is that you look after you! Your partner and child both know you’re pregnant and I assume your partner knows of your health issues and so please don’t burden yourself with thinking of the housework and that you need to be worlds best mum right now! You got this, stop being so hard on yourself you don’t deserve it x

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Not sure where you’re based but please speak to your midwife and try and get some perinatal mental health support. I don’t have personal experience but it does sound like you’re suffering from perinatal depression and you need specialist support. They can prescribe medication (which is safe in pregnancy) to help you deal with this if your therapy alone isn’t helping. Wishing you all the best, I really hope you’re able to get the support you need.

Thank you. It's gotten worse today and I've had a panic attack. I see my midwife tomorrow so will discuss it with her then. I need some professional help. I can't help but feel awful that I'm in a constant state of anxiety with the baby inside of me. I hope it doesn't affect the baby