Breastfeeding newbie!

[Winginitt]

Hi 👋🏻,

Currently pregnant with my second baby, a little boy! I have a DD who is 7 so this is all very new to me, I didn’t breastfeed with DD, I regretted this shortly afterwards and vowed to breastfeed my next baby, last time around I feel like there wasn’t enough information/encouragement offered so didn’t even consider doing it. I will be with this baby but am so confused about what I need to be prepared - I will get bottles so that DP and DD can feed baby too. I have been googling various pumps and bottles for weeks and am none the wiser on what or how much I need or if there’s anything else that is essential or just really handy. Any help/advice appreciated!!

Thank you!! X

Wait until baby is here. Otherwise you run the risk of buying bits you just don't need. Definitely don't buy a pump until then. My DD took a bottle for the first 8 weeks then flat out refused no matter what we tried.

Accept that you're solely responsible for feeding and the majority of the soothing. Your baby will cluster feed and you'll think you're doing something wrong but your baby knows what they're doing - trust the process.

Oh and drink loads and loads of water and have lots of snacks to hand. If you can get through those first few weeks BF is honestly so convenient and I'm still loving feeding my 19MO with baby 2 5 days overdue!

Good luck

I wouldn't buy anything right now re bottles, if you are planning to breastfeed. You might not need to pump and pumping might not even work out for you (I could pump like 10 ml max from my full breasts. Had no problem exclusively breastfeeding, milk amount was never an issue, but it just wouldn't get pumped at all). I had bought a couple of bottles while pregnant and never used them in the end.
Make sure you buy the nursing cushion though! And - can't remember how these things are called - these little pads you put in your bra to save you from any leaks.

Don’t do bottles just so that your DP and DD can feed the baby. Buy one bottle+ small pot of formula or a pack of ready made bottles if it makes you less worried about struggling at 4am on day 2, but if all goes well they’ll just sit in the cupboard.
Buy lanolin based nipple cream and some breast pads (disposable are more discrete under clothes, reuseable are softer and more comfortable - I used disposable ones when I went back to work and reusable the rest of the time). Tell your daughter you’ll be the one feeding baby because that’s how breasts work.
Plan to revisit the idea of pumping when your baby is 2-3 months - I tried to pump once a day and give that milk to my baby to get him used to a bottle so I could go back to work part time at 4months as planned. Pumping should benefit you rather than being something you do so other people can try feeding the baby. Trust me, it’s 3 times as much work as direct feeding so you won’t want to do it unless it’s helpful for you.

I agree with above advice.

I would intend to start bf exclusively with a view that later down the line once your supply is established and baby is happy you can introduce a bottle.

Baby might not take it though. Dad doesn't need to feed baby, they can bond in other ways!

All you need to buy is some nipple cream and some cabbage for when your milk comes in. That's literally it!

Do you know about golden hour?

Everything I know comes from having a baby via emergency C-section, having no latch, no support, and learning hard for months before getting a latch at 3.5 months.

I learned what breastmilk is, what it does, which was insane to realise; builds immunity, contains anaesthetic which made teething so much easier, bonding hormones, brain development that some research shows aids higher IQ, melatonin to help them sleep at night, lines the gut to make it ready for solid foods and do its job for life, helps me keep a healthy weight, prevents breast cancer in myself and reduces the chance of many, many illnesses for both of us.

So, here's what I missed by being put under anaesthetic whilst she was taken via C-section; golden hour.
During golden hour you get your bare chest out and allow the newborn to crawl up and find the breast. Have you ever seen a baby shake their head from side to side to reach their dummy? Or their mother’s breast? This is how they find the nipple. Have you ever wondered why babies need a dummy?

Don’t have a person to stand in your shop window advertising your clothes? It's okay, get a dummy version of a person called a mannequin to do it.

Don’t have a breast to feed your baby to perform their innate need to suckle (the natural way to build milk supply and get nutrition)? That’s okay, use a dummy version, a plastic teat.

They have to suckle because it's built into them, they need to carry out this behaviour because biologically we are programmed to build our mother’s milk supply because it's essential that we are fed, not just for nutrition but for all the reasons above. The worst thing we can do therefore is deny a child either the real breast or a dummy, which gives them no way to carry this behaviour out and causes massive distress to them and us.

In short, you don’t need anything to breastfeed except time and dedication. If you've just had a baby just be with the baby and let them feed. No schedule, they will spend the first 12 weeks building your supply by being on and off the breast constantly.

Get a good nipple cream.

Don’t let anyone else feed the baby. Your husband’s job is to care for you whilst you care for the baby. There is no need for anyone to feed the baby than you and if you do use bottles this could cause the baby to lose their ability to latch onto the breast, this is because the jaw is literally formed in a different way when you breastfeed. There are also consequences for maxillofacial development because we have stopped breastfeeding so much in society, but I could digress a thousand times on this subject.
If you do use a bottle use a Mimjumi which has a teat like a breast and which releases milk in the same way the breast does, slowly and after they've worked for it by suckling.

Have you ever seen a baby get bottle fed and just choke and spit up and shake their legs and cry? The mother wonders why the baby doesn't want their precious milk but unfortunately what we don’t realise is that the milk is coming out far too fast. This will stretch the gut and cause problems in that regard later on including pain and sleeping for too long periods. Babies wake frequently in the night to check they are safe.

A baby digests breastmilk in a completely different way to formula. Formula cannot do what breastmilk does, it cannot aid immunity, it cannot properly line the gut nor release the hormones, reduce disease etc. etc.

Once you get a latch just feed the baby. That’s all, feed the baby.

You need to ensure you are always feeding that baby or if it comes to it empty the breast via a pump because a blocked duct will have you crying in the bath trying to unblock it and I do not recommend this experience! I made the mistake of avoiding a feed to be with my partner for the night away from baby when she was 1.5 years and it resulted in a blocked duct. I fed for 4.5 years and it was the best possible start I could have given my baby. I had the privilege in modern society to do this, I know not everyone does, because I have been self-employed since 2015 and did not have to return to work, but unfortunately many of us have to (I say have to, if you want to that’s a totally different thing of course).
So I would recommend to cover all bases:

Mimjumi bottle

Pump, a cheap one is fine just to empty on the occasion should you need to let someone else feed

(pressure can be harsh to deal with and we must pick our battles of course)
Nipple cream

Lansinoh saved my nipples. Get some in before baby arrives!

I didn't have a special breastfeeding cushion, used a v-shaped one we already had but it was very useful to help with early days positioning.

Had a manual breast pump that I needed within days of birth so that would've been handy to have before baby arrived. I never could get much out but it was essential when I couldn't feed off one side for a few days at the start.

Good luck!

Echo what others have said about not buying bottles and pumps yet. If you want to breastfeed successfully, it's best not to introduce a bottle of expressed milk or a dummy until at least 6-8 weeks. This allows your milk supply to establish, and baby to get the hang of feeding direct from breast without being confused by differences between breast, bottle teats and different flows. When you do get a bottle make sure it's an extra slow flow teat to prevent bottle preference. Babies need to work harder for the milk at the breast and it's a skill that both mum and baby need to learn, hence important not to intro bottles at first if possible. If you do need to for some reason, look at paced feeding and don't worry, just get baby on the breast as often as possible to return to exclusive breastfeeding.

I really recommend buying a good book on breastfeeding. The womanly art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League is excellent, a breastfeeding Bible. I also loved Food of Love by Kate Evans, it's a shorter alternative, with pictures and excellent advice. I also recommend doing a breastfeeding course, la leche league offer a free one. Google it and email to enroll, it's excellent! These resources plus good support from midwives after birth and a supportive partner should enable you to breastfeed successfully ☺️
It's a wonderful thing to do, I breastfed my DD for two years, she never had a bottle of formula, I loved it despite it being hard at times. Google cluster feeding and the fourth trimester and look into safe co sleeping. This all makes it a lot easier and will support the breastfeeding relationship and bond.

If you're on FB, la leche league also has some groups you can join to get advice from their leaders and other breastfeeding mums xx

Also, loads and loads (like hours and days of it) of skin to skin when baby is born will help a LOT. My DD struggled to latch for the first few days, but we got there with persistence and loads of skin to skin and support at hospital. Don't be afraid to ring the bell for help with latching every time you feed, and don't go home until you feel confident. If you home birth, or at any point once you're home, ring the midwives or a lactation consultant at the first sign of difficulty. Early support is key.

Also - mum feeds baby, dad feeds mum. Breastfeeding babies feed on demand so you won't have a solid routine for the first few months. Luckily once you've got the hang of it it's so easy to just whip out a boob this won't matter ☺️ best of luck!

I wouldn't worry about equipment like bottles in advance. You need pads (reusable bamboo are excellent) nipple cream, muslin cloths and (much nearer the time) a well fitting nursing bra - I recommend buying only one day bra and one night bra, waiting until 39 weeks to buy them, then wait until at least 2 weeks post delivery before buying extra because you can dramatically change size!

Watch videos for placement and check out in advance if there's any breastfeeding groups near you or mentoring schemes (my local pub hosts one twice a week) as they can really help. I've personally mentored 11 women I think, it's been a while, where I went to there houses shortly after discharge to hospital and spent time there helping them position and gain confidence, a bit like mothers, big sisters and aunts used to.

Contrary to some things you will read, it is natural so with a bit of determination and advice at the right point most women with term single babies breastfeed successfully. It takes a few days to establish for the first (breastfed) baby but for my second she was feeding 5 minutes after birth and never looked back.

Read everything you can, join your local Le leche league - follow all the big IBCLC accounts on Facebook.
all you need are some soft nursing bras and breastpads (once milk comes in and if you leak) - ask midwife for some colostrum harvesting kits. Education is key in succeeding, and knowing when to seek help if things aren’t going well.
breastmilk expressed and rubbed into nipple is better than any nipple cream too.
I didn’t buy any bottles, any formula, I was going to breastfeed and that was it, then I am very stubborn 😂
I bought a haaka a few weeks in, but only used it occasionally. Still feeding now at 2 years old (and 18 weeks pregnant!).

Try to identify any problems like tongue tie early on. Pumping can be useful to bring your milk in if your baby can’t latch well for some reason like tongue tie but is otherwise not recommended at the beginning.

I didn’t manage to keep my supply up while waiting for our tongue tie to be diagnosed and treated and didn’t last long with breastfeeding. The little bottles of formula saved us on the first night as we got home after supermarkets were closed on Sunday and baby wouldn’t latch well enough to breastfeed. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to have them but in our case I was really glad to have brought them in advance.

Also know where to find help in advance if you do have any problems, a good lactation consultant if you can afford it. I struggled with this in the brain fog and baby blues of the first few days and most local lactation consultants were fully booked.

Ah thank you all so much for the advice! I’m so glad I posted as this is all so helpful, I wanted to let DP feed so it would be easier on me but I guess I’ll see how it goes. Will refrain from buying any bottles for now, I have 3 that were gifted to me from our niece who never used them last year so I’ll just keep those. Thanks again!

in hindsight I’m glad that my DH has been able to get involved in the feeding. He did a 9pm-1am shift in the early days and now sometimes does the night feed as he falls asleep afterwards more easily than I do. However in the early days of breastfeeding when you need to establish supply any missed feed might compromise supply. I think you’re meant to pump for missed feeds at least for the first weeks so that negates the advantage of someone else doing the feed.

@Hatscats I'm also 18 weeks pregnant with a 2 year old! We just finished breastfeeding a few weeks ago... Very sad to stop but my milk had dried up and it was too painful.
Nice to hear of another one in a similar position! X