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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Panicking and feeling like an absolute idiot. Feel like I've jinxed it.

7 replies

laterlossmum · 05/11/2022 14:42

After giving birth to my gorgeous, perfect sleeping boy at the start of the year I told myself this time around to be so careful. We didn't tell a soul, still haven't and won't announce it, we tried to not talk about it at all really and never in front of our toddler. Slowly I relaxed, I believed it was a different baby and a different outcome and as we come into the third trimester we agreed to get excited. We finally started being honest with our toddler about the baby in mummy's belly, we bought a couple of things, we told a few people, we started speaking about him like a real baby that will be joining our family.

Today my husband painted the nursery, as a surprise, and I came home to find him and our little one in there and he was excitedly telling me this is his baby brothers room and the tears came and won't stop. He thought he was getting a little brother earlier this year and he never came home. I don't want to put him through that again. I don't want to come home to a painted nursery with no baby. I feel like an absolute fool for relaxing and like I've jinxed it.

I've made it real and it still might not be and I just feel horrible Sad

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
elm26 · 05/11/2022 14:50

I'm so so sorry for the loss of your baby boy 💐

It doesn't compare to your loss but I've had multiple miscarriages, double digits and I'm now almost 11 weeks pregnant.

I know the feeling of being hopeful but then feeling like you've jinxed yourself, I do this when I see Instagram adverts for cute blankets and click the link to have a peek. I chastise myself after and if I dare to dream about setting up a cot I tell myself it's not going to happen as if mentally preparing myself for the worst would lessen the blow if I lost this baby.

Through the trauma, worry and anxiety, we must remember that there is no such thing as "jinxing".

You deserve to feel happiness, to share these special times with your Husband and son.

Wishing you all the best 🙏🏻♥️

laterlossmum · 05/11/2022 21:23

I'm so sorry to you too.
Thank you, I think my husband felt awful as he tried to do a nice thing and it just totally set me off. I know logically I can't jinx it, but it really feels like if I believe it'll happen this time it'll slip away again. I thought I'd relax hitting the third trimester but not for long apparently

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Lividity · 05/11/2022 21:27

Oh gosh, this is heartbreaking.

Have you had any counselling? I think your feelings are absolutely understandable in the circumstances and I’m so sorry you’ve been through this.

HelloViroids · 05/11/2022 21:50

Flowers OP, sounds so hard. I got pregnant after a MMC and was very superstitious about painting the nursery- lovely and pragmatic MIL gently told me that if the worst happened I was feel awful whether or not it was painted, and if all worked out as planned we’d be very glad we had painted. DS is now 2 and I was pleased I listened to her. Hope you’re ok

Alexandernevermind · 05/11/2022 21:55

I am so sorry this happened to your family. You know that what happened to you is very rare. Very tragic, but rare. Please try not to stress and please make sure you get therapy, as a family, to help you all process and make sense of what happened. Come back in few weeks time and tell us how your beautiful new baby is settling in with your family.

QuiltedHippo · 05/11/2022 22:06

I'm so sorry for your loss, what you must have even through is unbearable. Of course you're terrified and trying to protect yourself 💐

bingotime · 05/11/2022 22:26

I have grown up children but saw your post on active.

I had trouble getting and staying pregnant. I remember feeling like you. Didn't tell people I was pregnant, wouldn't buy things. Scared to cry or feel happy etc.

I don't have a single picture of me pregnant and I feel like I really missed out on the experience of being pregnant. I carried to term twice.

I wish I could go back and enjoy it. I know I was trying to protect myself. Just as you are.

You sound like you need a huge hug.

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