Normal not to feel broody at 38 weeks??

[UpsideDownBump]

Hello Mumsnetters! I am about to have a baby (well, I'm 38 weeks now so think it should be quite soon!) and the thing is, having wanted a baby so much for ages, I suddenly feel less broody than ever! It's not that I don't want this baby (I really do!) or don't feel lucky to be pregnant (I know how fortunate I am!). But people keep asking me if I'm excited ... and I'm not sure. I just feel a bit flat. And I'm spending a lot of time (secretly) wondering whether/hoping that I will love it. I don't feel that I have 'bonded' with the baby at all! Is this weird? I'm feeling really well, and active, so it's not that I'm just desperate to get it out or anything. Will some hormones or something kick in soon? Help! I'm worried I'm going to be a rubbish mummy!

Perfectly normal - well atleast I hope so as i'm 36 weeks and have no bond what so ever with my bump. Baby is planned and wanted but I feel no connection to it yet and I didn't when pregnant with DS who incidentally I fell in love with once born.

I think some of us just don't "get" that emotional link in pregnancy, you know there is a baby there but it doesn't seem real.

Flat is exactly the term I would describe my feelings.

Hi UpsideDown -

I'm 32 weeks and feeling a little like this. I think it's because for me at least broodiness was mainly about wanting a baby when I wasn't in a position to have one for whatever reason so seeing a baby accentuated my maternal instinct but was tinged with sadness/wistfulness that I wasn't having a baby and triggered all sorts of "if i had a baby, what would it be like" thoughts.

Now I'm pregnant I know I'm having a baby so don't get that wistful broody feeling anymore because I know that I will actually be getting what I wanted (all being well) and so don't spend so much time daydreaming about it. In fact I'm much more concerned with sorting out the practicalities of having a baby in the house and getting ready for labour now than my pre-pregnancy feelings of "and we'll go swimming and read books and he'll smile lots and sleep through the night". Having said that, I met my friend's newborn a couple of weeks ago and got really jealous of her and impatient to meet my own little boy so the broodiness can still be triggered!

I'm not sure about 'bonding' pre-birth either - I love feeling him move, indeed often make him move so I can reassure myself he's alive and well! But I don't really have that feeling of 'knowing' him which I know some women do. I don't think for me it will feel truly real until he arrives - again perhaps because I've wanted this for so long that I can't imagine that I can feel now what I will feel once I see him and get to hold him for the first time.

Hope that helps! And good luck over the next few weeks

And yes, flat is definitely a word I used to describe myself just the other day - my head is so full of practicalities, and my daily aches and pains, and worry over labour so there isn't much room for excitement at the moment.

Thanks for your responses! I'm so glad it's not just me who feels like this - I'm still at work too (and possibly next week) so that probably doesn't help with the broodiness, or lack of. Good luck to you all too!

I felt like that too, I've wanted babies my whole life so I was over the moon when I fell pg with DD1 but by the time she was due the novelty of being pg had worn off, I was fed up with the whole thing and just wanted it OUT! I wasn't fussed about getting a baby by then, but once she was born it changed completely and I would've killed anybody who so much as looked at her without my permission!

Also I think I was paranoid that something would happen to her before/during the birth so I was trying not to get too attached until she was real IYSWIM.

I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal and the prospect of labour is probably always at the back or your mind. It can't be easy to still be at work.

Not long now and you can post back again about how you're feeling then!!

Yes, I absolutely have been feeling almost anti-broody since I got preg, although I?m loving being pregnant and the beb is much wanted. When a colleague asked me the other day if I was excited I blurted out ?a bit? and she said ?only a bit? You should be really excited!? which didn?t help, although I can understand her point of view.
I don?t know about you but I do tend to worry about various things and this tends to cancel out the excitement to some extend, leading to the feeling of ?flatness?.
Like MoosMa I recently realised that in some ways I?m not allowing myself to connect with the LO in the womb in case something bad happens in labour.
Glad to read that this is common!

PHEW! I am 38 weeks and feel exactly the same way. Flat is a good way to describe it. With DS I was so excited before he was born and literally couldnt wait, but this time my head is more full of practicalities and worries about how the new baby will affect (upset?) DS...
Have been feeling like this pretty much most of the way through the pregnancy to be honest and dont really know how to answer people when they say 'are you excited?' etc
Am just hoping that I will bond and fall in love with this baby when he is born!