Previous postpartum psychosis

[Blondewave]

Hi there -

I’m currently 22 weeks - I have a 12 year age gap between children.
vowed I would never have anymore. I had a terribly traumatic birth and then postnatal psychosis, to the point both my self and son nearly died as I had completely lost myself.

I love my son more than anything he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I was fine the first three days after birth; then it hit. I’ve always felt guilty for loosing all his precious baby time as I was so mentally unwell.

I’ve been referred to perinatal mental health and will get daily visits after this babies birth. However I’ve been told it’s a 50% chance of getting it again. This terrifies me. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Does anyone have any positive experiences of subsequent birth following postnatal psychosis?

I know psychosis is incredibly rare and completely different to severe PND as there is a severe risk of harm as so detached from reality and this really scares me.

im in a different place socially, emotionally and financially to what I was 12 years ago so keep telling myself that will make a difference however the anxiety is creeping in more and more the further along I get.

Never had any mental health problems prior to birth so it was unexpected and currently have no mental health problems either. Postpartum psychosis is so strange 🙃

I do have experience and was in a mother and baby unit. Mine was quite closely managed because I was a known risk due to previous mental health, I started on medication as soon as baby born and had lots of support which did prevent things escalating. That sounds like what they want to do for you, support you so you can still be home with your baby. If they thought it necessary they would prescribe preventative medication, which would help.

I had ppp with my first. It was awful, such a dark, scary time. I was fine with dd2 and then with my third I was losing it whilst pregnant but was well supported with the mental health specialist midwife. I won't have anymore, 3 is enough and honestly I can't put myself or my family through it again. My youngest is now 5 years

PPP with #1.
Fine with #2.
Severe anxiety/PND with #3, but that was probably more to do with the traumatic, non pregnancy related events that happened during and after my pregnancy.