How do I deal with a miscarriage

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I found out about 2 weeks ago that I was pregnant, me and my partner were over the moon as we were trying to conceive and the one thing I want most in life is to be a mam. We ended up telling family very early on due to my nature of work.

For a week I had very mild Cramps but it didn't worry me too much as I had no bleeding and I had read on many websites/forums that mild cramping was normal. Then the other day I started to bleed, it wasn't a lot but I knew straight away it wasn't normal. I ended up bleeding loads and getting severe cramps and went to A&E where they took my bloods and booked me into the EPU the next morning.

I have the appointment this morning and I know they are going to confirm my worst nightmare. This is my first pregnancy and me and my partner are heartbroken and we both feel empty.

Is there anyone else that has suffered a miscarriage that has any tips or advice on how you dealt with it? I feel like I have no motivation and just want to be left alone and I know I won't cope very well as this is something I've never been through before.

Thanks in advance for any help ❤️

Have you had your appointment? I really hope it was good news for you

Did you have your appointment today?
I had a MMC and a miscarriage last year and it was such a difficult time for me.
I struggled to talk to anyone about how I felt and it took me a long time to deal with it. I found that a lot of people didn't really know what to say to me and ended up saying things that made me feel so awful.
But everyone deals with it differently! I would say talk to your partner. Look at the miscarriage association website as there is lots of helpful info on there- i attended one of the online zoom groups which was good.
I hope you're ok❤️ look after yourself x

So sorry you’re going through this OP. I had a miscarriage (first baby) in April and it was horrendous and such a shock. I really wasn’t prepared for it. At the time I thought I would never get over it!

Should the worst have happened, you will likely be given the choice between surgical management or medical management. I opted for a D&C (I was 10 weeks along with no bleeding so my miscarriage was missed) which was honestly not as bad as I thought. It was a bit scary being put to sleep but before I knew it I was awake and honestly feeling quite relieved that it was over.

My best advice is to listen to what your mind and body needs over the coming weeks - rest lots, be kind to yourself, try to find even small amounts of joy where you can. Lean on friends and family where you can and know that you are not alone!

Better days will come - we were blessed enough to fall pregnant one month later and I’m now 25 weeks with our rainbow boy.

I wish you all the very best and just know that you can get through this ❤️

@EmmaL9763 @RambamThankyouMam @Emalouise25111

Had my appointment today, had a ultrasound and the big stick one.. they believe the pregnancy was miscarried and all that's what all the blood was that I was losing. I have to get my bloods done again tomorrow just to confirm this. I'm still bleeding heavily today - one thing I'm finding hard to deal with is everutime I go to the toilet seeing the blood and the clots knowing what could of been 😢

I've been really lucky in the sense that my partner has been a great support, I've took some time off work to so I can try deal with it. I don't know how women go through this it's awful! I started making a scrapbook for baby so were going to add a few messages to it and keep it as a keepsake.

Thanks for all the advice girls it means a lot!❤️

So sorry you’re going through this.
I’m having a missed miscarriage, found out 2 weeks ago and had it confirmed at EPU last Friday. I’m not having any bleeding and still have the pregnancy symptoms which is a bit miserable.

There’s a great support thread on the miscarriage/pregnancy loss section. It’s really helped to talk about it with others going through the same thing.

From everything I’ve read, there’s no right or wrong way to feel or deal with it. Just do what you need to do and be kind to yourself.

Tommy’s site has some good practical information too.

Glad you have a good support system. I hope the bleeding tails off soon 💐

Just a heads up because it was a horrid surprise to me, you will continue to have pregnancy hormones for a few weeks yet. That means you may continue to have pregnancy symptoms. Morning sickness post miscarriage is the worst. Also, do a pregnancy test in about 3 weeks to your hormones have returned to normal.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm glad you've taken time off work, I wish I had. I was so numb for a couple of weeks

So sorry you're going through this OP. I had a similar experience in August 2018. Its good you've taken time off work - I didn't and I really struggled emotionally and physically for it. And it's great that your partner has been so supportive in this.

There is no right or wrong way to get through this, just do what you feel you need to, when you need to. If that means not seeing anyone and having time to yourself for a while then definitely do that. There's some great advice in the previous posters posts on pratical things to expect and do - like taking another test in 3 weeks time. In terms of additional support I found the Miscarriage Association invaluable.

My thoughts are with you 💐

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in June and it was absolutely devastating. Take all the time you need to grieve - it’s really good you’re taking time off work, I had a month off. I was also able to get free counselling through work and it really helped to have someone to talk to about everything I was feeling. DH is amazing but just didn’t experience it in the same way as me which made me feel so lonely. I found a podcast called The Worst Girl Gang Ever really helped me not to feel so alone, I listened to it for hours and sobbed, but it helped me to identify and process a lot of what I was feeling and they also have a community on Facebook. Tommy’s and the Miscarriage Association also have some helpful information and helplines you can call (Tommy’s is run by midwives so more helpful
if you have medical questions and MA is run by volunteers so I think more if you need someone to speak to, although I only used Tommy’s). Take care of yourself, please feel free to dm if you need someone to talk to x