Struggling to get pregnant, anyone else?

[Alicemorgan2301]

Hi all,

Bit of a sad post but I'm feeling super lost right now and just need some moral support from others that can relate.

My partner and I have been TTC for around 16 months now. We've had one early MC in May and have been trying again for another 6 months but nothing. AF came today and it has massively rocked me, and seems to get harder and harder each month. Especially after having the MC this just feels so unfair that we're having to go through this all again.

I'm only 27 and no one tells you how tough trying to conceive is, especially when it doesn't happen easily and with the constant grief of the miscarriage too. Seeing and hearing of others getting pregnant easily or by accident just hits me like a tonne of bricks and I feel like I can escape it!

I'm going to delete all the period tracking apps and try and go with the flow a bit this month as I feel like everything is getting a bit too much now.

Does anyone have any advice on how to carry on with life as normal when you're struggling to get pregnant? Or anyone else feeling the same?

I would recommend you post in the conception topic rather than here for loads of support. This board is more people talking about current pregnancies

It is very hard. Took us 2.5 years and a loss at 12 weeks to get to this current pregnancy. My only advice would be not to cancel life for TTC eg go on that holiday, go a weekend away without DH, sign up for that race etc

Have you tried acupuncture or fertility reflexology? Non invasive ways to boost chances and relaxing too

@Alicemorgan2301 so sorry you're having a tough time. I totally agree, it isn't talked about enough, although I guess it is better than it used to be! Particularly as you're 27 - lots of my younger friends (I'm 33) have super naive ideas of how conception works. I have been the person sobbing when a coworker immediately got pregnant when we were already 8 months in..... and I've had plenty of friends who conceived immediately after trying... it is impossibly hard not to feel so sad for your own situation and the simple journey that has been stolen from you in some way ... I certainly grieved for the journey I presumed naively I would probably have, when it was very very different. I also found it out stress on our relationship which Made things hard too.

Firstly I agree with the other person .... as hard as it is to drop from your mind, don't cancel life. I do think taking a break from tracking sounds like a good idea. It took us 15 months and we had IVF lined up so I gave up on tracking because I just wanted to not think about what bloody cycle day it was for some time. I got pregnant 6 weeks before my first injection was due to take place.

I know technically with a MC you start again from month 1, but have you considered some fertility tests so you gain more information about you and your partners facts and figures? Having lots of information really helped me, but it depends what type of person you are I guess. Best of luck x

I’m with you 😕We’re TTC and about to move onto month 11.

I’m over 35 so we’re having some additional testing this month. I just wish someone could tell me ‘you will have a baby’ but so much is unknown.

It’s really hard. We have tried to relax recently and have regular dates in & outside of the fertile window.

It’s so normal for it to take a long time but it’s so hard. Baby 1 only took 3 months for us, baby 2 took 21 months…no real logic to it. Had all the tests and found a new minor things. I’m sure you’ve done all the research into giving you the best chances possible each month so I won’t give any tips, but definitely get a few fertility tests (both of you!) if you can, just to rule out any issues, especially if they can be fixed quickly. I was so stressed with TTC the second time and now I realise just how normal it is to take a long time!