Scared to announce pregnancy and don’t know why

[pumpkinpiee]

Hi, just looking for some advice really. My DH and I agreed to wait until our 12 week scan before announcing to family & close friends. We haven’t told anyone yet, not even our parents. We had our 12 week scan last week which thankfully went really well, we are very relieved ☺️.

However, for some reason I get this sense of dread whenever my DH asks if we can tell people. I have no particular reason to feel this way and before I got pregnant always imagined being really excited about telling people! This baby is very loved, planned and wanted. We are married, own our house and are financially stable so not expecting judgement from parents for any of these reasons either. I just wish I knew why I felt this way so I could do something about it.

Has anyone else experienced similar and can offer some advice? My DH really wants to tell people and I feel like I’m letting him down by not agreeing to it yet as I can’t even provide an explanation as to why not!

Lots of people wait until the 20 week scan. At that scan they check everything properly, head size, all babies organs, limbs etc so it might make you feel more comfortable to wait until then. Don't feel pressured by your DH. It's his news too but it's YOUR body, so if you'd rather wait then do.

20 weeks was when I really settled down and felt I could finally enjoy my pregnancy because everything was ok (and you start to feel them then too which helps). Legally you don't have to tell work until I think 13 weeks before your due date.

Congrats OP and good luck xxx

I told everyone (as in close family) the minute I got a postive with my DS as I simply couldn't hold the excitement. With our second pregnancy, we did the same again and announced shortly after testing positive. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in miscarriage so we've been more cautious this time around. I've had an early scan at 6+1 and saw baby with heartbeat. 😍 I have another scan next week at 9+1 and hoping all goes well. 🤞🏻If it does, I think we'll announce after that to very close family and possibly a couple of close friends. While I think scans are reassuring, I personally don't think there's ever a 'safe zone' in pregnancy so I get why you're not quite ready. Don't feel the pressure of '12 weeks = time to announcement' as it might not work for you abd DP. As I said though, if you're waiting until it's 'safe' to announce, I don't think you'd ever tell anyone unfortunately. Be sure to make the decision with your other half as he needs to feel just as much apart of the process as you and that can sometimes be difficult for partners.

I completely understand! In the exact same position as you, we are married, have our own house and baby was very much wanted and planned. However I’m 22 weeks and have only just started telling people now after the 20 week scan (and that’s mostly because I can’t physically hide the bump anymore). We did have a mmc in May, but that was at 9 weeks so you would think I’d be ok to share by now.

I have no advice as I feel the same, but I can tell you that the happiness from the people we have started to tell definitely makes it a bit easier to tell the next person 😊

Congratulations though 🤍and whenever you’re ready to tell people, they will be so happy for you

We didn’t tell anyone until 14 weeks and that was just our parents as we live abroad but were seeing them. Everyone else was around 16/17 weeks as it was become hard to hide. It was partly due to worrying but also we liked having the secret to ourselves. Do what you’re comfortable with, you’re not depriving your DH of the big moment of telling people, just delaying it.

Thank you for the responses 💕 I think it’s because it does still seem too early! Should anything go wrong then I would tell my family at this point but wouldn’t want to have to explain to all of our friends too! I think I will broach the idea of just telling family for now and then seeing how we feel after our private scan at 16 weeks xx

I felt uncomfortable like I was announcing I have sex!! Bit silly really. My 1st was a shock as it was unplanned and I was quite young. My third I was old so think people were shocked we chose to have another!!

Completely understand OP. We waited until the 20 week scan to tell anyone apart from the parents who we told after 12 weeks. But still - while my husband is unphased and has now shared the news literally with everyone he knows, I only told my employer so far and am really struggling to bring myself to share with friends - most of them are remote and it's easy to hide the bump. I am still paranoid having had two early miscarriages prior to this. Still, the 20 week mark has felt like a huge milestone, and so was starting to feel movement - so it feels much more real now vs how it felt a few weeks ago. You'll get there, don't feel pressured.

I understand! I felt so so nervous telling people (family, friends, colleagues, anyone!). No idea why as baby is very much wanted and everyone was so pleased for us. Think I felt naughty like someone else said above it is like announcing you have had sex 😂 silly really. But it was such a relief once we had told everyone. I told my mum, dad and sister after a private 6 weeks scan. My OH wanted to wait until after the 12 week scan before telling his family (parents included) so we could be sure baby was ok. I waited until after the 12 week scan to tell the rest of my family and friends. Held off announcing to everyone else until after the 20 weeks scan. Definitely wait until you feel ready and maybe find a way of telling them that will make it a little easier (such as putting a copy of the scan in a card) instead of just saying it out loud as I think that is what I was most nervous about.

We told our parents after an 8 weeks scan, then everyone else after the 12 week scan and the tests results were back.
There's no right or wrong time, just do what feels right to you.

Waited for ages 22 odd weeks. It felt private information and if anything

We waited ages to tell family/friends like 23 weeks. It felt like a very private & personal chapter in my life.
Completely comfortable with my decision & people had a lovely surprise with not long to wait!
If anything had gone wrong i wouldn't have wanted the emotions of others but that was only one factor.

We waited ages too. Telling people made it feel real and I was bricking it 😅

Do what you feel comfortable with. People knew at 2 weeks with me because I have to do restraints at work.