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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Termination. Depression

13 replies

shabbadababa · 30/10/2022 10:38

Please don't judge me.

I'm 8+4days and I'm having horrible doubts and depression about keeping this baby. I have 3 children and I feel like I've just got my youngest in school now I can focus on my mental health and struggles I've had for years to then go back to pregnancy I just don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I would have money struggles as I cannot afford another car so I won't fit all my kids in as my cars small, I struggle to do days out etc as it is with the kids I have now I manage but I struggle. I just feel very wrong for feeling like this and I'm getting really depressed. My partner said he agrees with what I'm saying but he did want the baby so I feel 10x worse aswell hurting him.

OP posts:
MarshmallowsOnToast · 30/10/2022 10:43

There's nothing to judge you for OP.

I think you have to put your existing children's needs & your own health first.

Good luck with what you decide. Flowers

Meowsaidthecat · 30/10/2022 10:46

You need to put you and your existing children first, it already sounds like very hard work.

Whatever choice you make make sure it's what YOU want doesn't matter what others want as it'll be you doing all the work. Flowers

Original poster
shabbadababa · 30/10/2022 10:50

Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel the same I feel like my kids are at a age where I don't struggle no more. I can actually take them out and not feel overwhelmed with my mental health and I enjoy it. I feel like to have another baby would severely push them out what they've been waiting for and I cant deal with the guilt. But I'm also very upset about doing a termination too. I've fell into a deep depression over this I feel awful

OP posts:
Inasec24 · 30/10/2022 10:51

You owe it to yourself and your kids to focus on your mental health. Don't feel bad, do what you've got to do x

RedHelenB · 30/10/2022 10:56

4 children is a lot to manage even if you're in perfect physical and mental health with no money worries. I think you're making the right choice for your family.

Original poster
shabbadababa · 30/10/2022 11:18

Thankyou. I feel like my partners really upset about it as at the beginning it's something we was happy to go along with we got used to the idea. Then I've had this random doubt and instant decision of I know what I want and he can't understand it.

OP posts:
Meowsaidthecat · 30/10/2022 11:21

shabbadababa · 30/10/2022 11:18

Thankyou. I feel like my partners really upset about it as at the beginning it's something we was happy to go along with we got used to the idea. Then I've had this random doubt and instant decision of I know what I want and he can't understand it.

How supportive is your husband? Does he help out a lot with the kids/child care? Does he help in the nights? On days out?

I would look at this too to help make your decision.

Original poster
shabbadababa · 30/10/2022 12:32

@MMeowsaidthecat Hey! My partner is very helpful he helps alot with my mental health and taking weight off me. I'm going tk speak to him properly today as it was abit late lastnight and I was really tired.

OP posts:
Original poster
shabbadababa · 31/10/2022 11:07

I have a midwife appointment today. I'm not sure weather to go. I'm so confused I know I don't want to continue this pregnancy but I feel awful because it's something we tried for , for me then to feel like this😔

OP posts:
OrcaBlondie · 31/10/2022 16:29

shabbadababa · 31/10/2022 11:07

I have a midwife appointment today. I'm not sure weather to go. I'm so confused I know I don't want to continue this pregnancy but I feel awful because it's something we tried for , for me then to feel like this😔

Did you go to the appointment? It may be helpful for you to talk through your feelings with your midwife.

Original poster
shabbadababa · 31/10/2022 16:34

I didn't go. I've made the decision. To terminate. I need tondo us on my children now

OP posts:
OrcaBlondie · 31/10/2022 16:40

shabbadababa · 31/10/2022 16:34

I didn't go. I've made the decision. To terminate. I need tondo us on my children now

I’m pleased you have reached a decision which I’m sure is the right one for you and your children. Wishing you all the best x

Beatrice1986 · 29/09/2023 10:57

I’ve just fallen pregnant. 5 weeks so very early. My daughter is 4. Me and my partner said for years we were happy with one child. Something came over us when she turned four and we wanted a sibling for her.

I’m very spiritual and felt like it was meant to be but I’m having doubts that we’re up to the challenge.

I have mild depression that I’m successfully treating, our housing and financial situation is precarious.

I can’t see myself having a termination but I feel guilty for not being 100% sure I want this.

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