Handhold - I’m now the biggest person in the room

[MsBump31]

I’m 33 weeks pregnant and have all of a sudden become massive. I’m not eating particularly more, but my bump is growing like crazy and it’s been a hard mindset shift because I used to be very short, very slim, very petite - essentially I’ve always been the smallest person in any room (and people would comment on it), now I’m the biggest in any room (and everyone comments on it).

It’s getting me down - I’ve had comments from random people that I ‘need to eat less’, but the truth is that I’m not actually eating any more than before I was pregnant. My baby is measuring 50 percentile, so completely average, and my midwives and doctors have been telling me to eat more because I’ve had issues with passing out in my pregnancy from lack of energy.

I’m just really not used to how I look, or comments that I must be eating loads etc (which aren’t true). Did anyone else feel like this at the end of pregnancy?

My latest scan did show that in terms of development my baby is growing two weeks ahead, so maybe I should stop comparing myself to others at a similar gestation who are smaller than me…

You ignore it, you and the baby are all that matters. Your pregnant, it would be more of a worry if you were still tiny. Tell the nosy parkers that the baby is growing two weeks ahead and measuring large. Or as my friend would say “fuck em”!

You can do all the exercise and dieting you want to after the baby is born (if you want to) if you breast feed I’m sure the weight will drop off - so I’m told.

Everyone tends to explode a bit towards the end, it can be uncomfortable etc but very normal. The only advice you should listen to is medical.

It probably just shows more on you because you are petite. Take no notice and stop comparing.💐

I've never understood why people feel the need to comment on this 🙄 I was the same in my pregnancy, especially towards the end. I'm relatively tall but my understanding is that bumps tend to look bigger on petite women because there's not so much length in the torso for the baby to be spread over - so the bump can only go out to the front if that makes sense?
In my case I felt vindicated when baby was born because she was so long the midwife measured her 3 times to check she was getting the correct measurement! MW said she was the longest baby she'd ever seen. She wasn't massively chunky but went straight into 0-3mo clothes because of her length.
So maybe you're just brewing a future basketball champion in there!

Comments from people in pregnancy and when you have the baby here are tiring no doubt about it, I remember also finding it very wearing after a while but I don't think people realise or they forget what it's like.
You are growing a baby, they have to grow somewhere, try not to take it personally people just need to say something

Don't worry, this isn't a 'you' thing, it's a pregnant thing. People love to comment on pregnant women's bodies. I have heard it all - "omg your bump is tiny Are you sure you're X weeks?"; "Woah you're huuuge!! You sure it's not twins/triplets?"; "You carry massively don't you? Like you just put on weight EVERYWHERE! Even your face" (felt particularly great after that); "ready to pop!! Oh, you're only 20 weeks? Haha, wow! Good luck then!". And so on. You're either the most enormous person they've ever seen or carrying far too small. People are rude af.

I was like the side of a house with my DC2, now three months, put on more than 20kgs. Mostly because I couldn't stop eating. I thought I'd formed a habit of overeating that would never go away. If you're eating normally you're most likely experiencing water retention. My baby was born, appetite went through the floor and I was back to pre pregnancy weight by the time DC was 2 months. I stupidly bought new glasses while I was pregnant and now they keep falling off my face .

People should mind their own business. Enjoy your last few weeks of pregnancy and don't worry at all xx

It’s all just silly OP, I had people ask me if I was having twins. Really they just need to mind their own business.

Try not to let it get you down, your body is doing exactly what it’s meant to do.

I’m petite. Dh tall. So baby ds always measured ahead as he was tall.

I gained 20kg ( from 48kg), Ds was 4kg ( nearly 9lb born).
I lost 12kg just from birth of baby, so lots of liquid, baby, placenta. And the other 8kg within 8weeks. I didn’t diet, was eating usual and breastfeeding lots and walking baby must have done the rest.

So from large bump to back to usual pretty quickly.

And not that it matters and everyone is different but my body shape was back to normal pretty quickly. I think breastfeeding really helped with returning to my normal weight, atleast I didn’t actively do anything to loose weight and if anything I ate more because breastfeeding made me so hungry!

After 16 months of breastfeeding I’m now lighter than I was pre pregnancy.

Haha, thanks! Baby is actually measuring as having very long legs, and my DH is tall, so maybe this is true 😂

Honestly i feel so sad that this is getting you down. You’re performing ACTUAL MIRACLES right now you goddess! Please don’t let “small” be the identity you base everything on.

It makes me so angry when people feel they have the right to comment on pregnant women’s bodies.

Its so easy to automatically laugh it off or even end up agreeing that yes you’re huge. Which makes the person think it’s an acceptable comment.

We’re socialised into not being rude or confrontational, but the person saying it doesn’t care that they’re being rude by commenting.

I try to say something like “oh that’s an odd thing to say”.

Thanks everyone, you are making me feel a lot better.

The comments that have upset me most are people telling me to ‘stop eating so much’ both because it goes directly against what my doctors have told me to do, and because people have even said I need to ‘stop eating fast food and eat vegetables’ despite the fact that I’m not actually eating fast food… people have just assumed that because of my tummy size 🙄

Wow. If it’s literally as rude as “stop eating so much”, then my response would be a little more abrupt!

If it was a work colleague it would be a frown and “excuse me?”.

If it was a family member it would include expletives.

Worth saying these comments are generally from random people I meet out and about, not friends or family (all of who have been lovely)

Everyone grows at a different pace when pregnant. It's partly due to food/previously overweight, partly genetics, partly if you have had kids before, and partly luck.

I was small and didn't gain huge amounts of weight with both of mine and people were convinced in wasn't eating, I was! My friend had her dc over in Japan and was told off for gaining too much weight - just luck really because I was eating more than her (same time)

People are dicks. They feel they can comment on a women's body like it's their entitlement.

My bump was huge with DS and now I'm 30+6 with twins and look about 38 weeks.

There was this really bitchy women at work and we didn't get along and she said to me 'alright fatty, corr you are looking really fat'.
My response 'Well, since we're commenting on weight I'd say it's very rich coming from you to comment on peoples weight when you're as big as you are and not actually pregnant'.

Bitchy comment to make back but she deserved it!

Woman*

Bump growth is not always linear OP. You might find it slows done a bit now anyway. People were asking me if I was almost due at 6 months, and my bump did get bigger but it was totally average by the time I gave birth. The midwives were surprised that I managed to fit my 9 and a half pounder in there!

The % thing in unborn babies is kind Of rubbish tbh. My consultant explained it’s a % based of mothers bmi basically. So if mother is short and petite, but father is tall, chances are baby will constantly measure ‘big’ as they are bigger than the % based on mothers bmi alone.

I’m 5’4, dh is 6’2. Baby was measuring 3+ months when born so 99%+. Now at 2.5 years he’s averaged out and around 50% height

So true, overweight people seem to get all smug at someone pregnant putting on weight- it's a temporary situation brought on by growing a human, not by stuffing your face and sitting on your a*rse.

To be honest, all of the negative comments I’ve had have been from overweight people