OCD / Intrusive thoughts during pregnancy

[Mumtobe888]

Hello,
I’m hoping someone can help me on here!
I am currently 27 weeks pregnant and for months now I’ve been suffering with bad anxiety and intrusive thoughts (I have done some reaserch and I think I have false memory ocd).

I met my partner in January and fell pregnant in March, really quick I know. In the beginning of my pregnancy the only thing I was worried about was the baby and making sure they were ok. Once that anxiety had gone, I started having the same thought over and over and over again that what if the baby isn’t my partners? I would obsess over this thought, going through old messsages, pictures to reassure myself when I got pregnant I was with my partner. We haven’t had the best relationship since I’ve found out I was pregnant, it’s been really challenging and we often argue. I’ve changed massively since becoming pregnant, I’m much more aggitated and get annoyed so easily which has caused issues as my partner says I now hate him and that I don’t love him. I’m not sure what the future holds for us both but I think perhaps the issues we have been having have perhaps caused me to have this intrusive thought? It can take hours of my day and it’s the first thing I think of when I wake up and usually the last thing I think of before going to bed.

has anyone else suffered with this intrusive thought? I honestly sometimes think I must have done something I just can’t remember doing it or why would I be thinking this all the time? It’s ruined my pregnany as it’s stopped me from becoming excited about being a mum.

hoping someone can relate, I have referee myself to the GP and I will be having CBT therapy.

thank you!!

I hate intrusive thoughts after I gave birth. What if I dropped my baby? What if I left her somewhere? What if I hurt her?
Took up a lot of my time and spoilt the early days with her. I'd speak to your gp.

@OhILoveDoughnuts Same! One of my antenatal group messaged the group chat one day saying she was having them and so many of us were also suffering from them. It passed for me within a few weeks or so.

It’s great you have a referral and I hope it’s helpful for you.

Hello! I have OCD (and have experienced false memory OCD before) I'm also 11+4! But I would go to the gp if it's bothering you... it can be so horrid! The gp should be able to help

If it is OCD (and it sounds as though it could be, especially if you engage in mental or physical compulsions - avoidance / reassurance -seeking / checking your phone) then the gold standard therapy is ERP, worth checking your CBT will include that. Wishing you all the best, it’s a miserable state of mind to be in. Definitely can be improved though! They key is not to resist the thought, let it be there, and then resist the compulsions. Good luck.

First of all, fantastic on you for already reaching out to your GP. I have OCD, too. Pregnancy (and post-partum) are notorious moments for OCD getting worse (or starting for the first time).

I really enjoyed reading 'Break Free from OCD'. It is a self-help book written by UK experts. It helped me better understand OCD itself and challenge intrusive thoughts. I also showed it to my partner, so he could better support me. It might be helpful for you in the period before your sessions start.

Hi. Fellow OCD sufferer here. I know this hasn't been posted on for a few weeks but how are you getting on OP?

Hello! I’ve just started having CBT (first session was Monday) and I’m meeting with the perinatal team tomorrow.
Speaking to the CBT team they advised pregnancy can make OCD so much worse and one of the problems from ocd is intrusive thoughts. I don’t feel as awful as I did a few weeks ago so I think I’m making some progress x

@Mumtobe888 I've just come across across your post and this was honestly the carbon copy of me when I was pregnant!

I had the worst intrusive thoughts that the baby wasn't my partners (even though Ive never cheated on him and never would!). It got as crazy as thinking 'what if id been spiked on a night out and had absolutely no recollection of having a quickie in the toilets?'
It was only Compounded when at a scan my baby was measuring big and they said the dates could maybe be a week out and I remember that matching up to me going out for my birthday (nothing happened and I was relatively sober all night!)

I found myself analysing 2D scan pictures to see if it looked like my partners and worrying if the side profile showed a big nose 😲 I must have counted my calendar for dates at least 1000 times. It was relentless and I wouldn't wish it on anyone as it ruined my third trimester for sure. Going into my elective section I wasn't even worried about giving birth but just whether the baby was going to come out a different race and my fiancé would leave me forever!

I just wanted to say that it is 1000% an intrusive thought; I sought CBT too and it really helped me to deal with the intrusive thoughts and understand that's what they were in order to try and stop the compulsions because you're just feeding the OCD. It never cured me but helped me get through those final weeks and for someone to tell me I wasn't mad or a whore 😂

I also want to say... the moment your baby is born and you see that they come out a double of your other half you feel totally stupid, and then it moves on to anxiety about keeping a new little baby alive.

Just wanted to give you a virtual hug and tell you everything will be ok. I never told my fiancé because I was too ashamed and worried that he may think I had reason to have doubts so I know it can be awfully lonely with those thoughts. Please try not let it ruin the rest of your pregnancy like I did xx

@minimini358 I’m a little late on replying! Thank you for your comment it really helped me at the time! The second I saw my little man all those horrible intrusive thoughts went away! It’s crazy what pregnancy does, I was a nervous wreck the whole time convinced I was going to have a baby of different colour even though I’d only been with my partner haha I can laugh a little about it now but at the time it was awful, I felt guilty about something that didn’t even happen. If we ever have another child fingers crossed it doesn’t happen to us again!xx

Intrusive thoughts are normal! Totally normal. Distressing but so common! Think it's good to break the stigma and talk about it so we know we aren't alone. Congratulations on your pregnancy op and hope you are feeling better.

Mine came more after the birth and was more imagining up bizarre and unlikely scenario's where anyone I came across would hurt my baby. Resting and looking after yourself helps. Once I knew it was normal it was less stressful and it did go away eventually.

@Wavescrashingonthebeach I’d never heard of pregnancy doing this to anyone before it started happening to me, im sure the doctors thought I was crazy when said I believe the baby isn’t my partners even though I haven’t slept with anyone else! I was a totally overwhelmed all the time, it completely ruined my pregnancy but I’m feeling much better now.
I still get some intrusive thoughts about something happening to my baby and I think I have anxiety about SIDS becuase I often worry it. I’m glad you’re feeling better and you’re right, this should be talked about more so woman don’t think they are crazy like I did!

I had awful intrusive thoughts about inappropriately touching my child. It plagued me because obviously I would never actually do that, or want to in a million years. I thought I was a monster and it ruined my first pregnancy because my mind was telling me if I told anyone they would take my baby away from me.

I finally got the courage to Google it as I knew deep down it wasn’t me. I was so relieved when I saw it was an actual thing and knowing that it was made them so much more manageable. They carried on a bit after I gave birth and I started not wanting to change my daughters nappy alone but I had a strong talking to myself and decided to face any fears like that head on and that help immensely too and as the hormones died down so did the thoughts.

I want people to know INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ARE YOUR FEARS AND NOT YOU AS A PERSON.

I feel like PND is very widely talked about, and rightly so, but pre & post partum anxiety/ ocd/ intrusive thoughts are so common that they should be talked about more.

I obsessed over SIDs too. I think it doesn't help that the NHS makes us believe it is common when it is actually Incredibly rare.

A temperature gauge that the midwife gave me helped, it was like something you hooked on the cot, looked like do not disturb sign you have in hotels but with a thermometer on.

As I was paranoid about him overheating so to have that made me feel so much better. I took it everywhere for the first 3 weeks haha.

And @Mumonthedge thank you for your post too! I'm determined not to let it affect me as much 2nd time around.

I’m half way through my second pregnancy @Wavescrashingonthebeach and it’s so much easier.

My intrusive thoughts are minimal. I think knowing from the start what they are has meant they haven’t been able to snowball into something much bigger like last time. I hope it’s the same for you.

Hi All,

How's everyone on this thread getting on? Currently 23 weeks and 4 days pregnant and suffering with constant intrusive thoughts too.

Not sure where to start in regards to getting help 😳

@babyk2023 So sorry that you're suffering with this too, it's just awful!

Get yourself referred asap for some talking therapy. Either ask your midwife to signpost you to this or go on your area's IAPT (google that term) and then self refer. Because you are pregnant they should prioritise you.

I found the talking therapy and the therapist giving me some strategies to deal and sit with the intrusive thoughts helped me manage them until the baby arrived. I still had them, but they didn't take over my life like they were.

Sending lots of love ❤️

@babyk2023 I had the worse intrusive thoughts, I cried nearly every day becuase I thought the baby wasn’t my partners even though I hadn’t slept with anyone else! I found talking therapy helped, but I still really struggled. Now I look back I think pregnany made me crazy haha I had the worst mood swings to the point I thought I hated my partner and wanted to move out! Anyway, now my little man is here (he’s 7 months now) I feel fine and it’s all just a bad memory and I know what to look out for if I ever get pregnant again. As soon as he was born all those horrible thoughts went away and my mood improved massively!
sending you lots of love as I know how horrible it is and if you need to just talk feel free to send me a message ♥️

Hey, I’m in the same boat had OCD thoughts for almost 3-4 years had therapy twice and felt much better now that I’m pregnant (21 weeks) suddenly I got this intrusive thought, and so far have been managing as I know it’s just a thought and it is not real but but some days I do panic. My partner knows about it and knows it’s OCD as I’ve been struggling for years😭

Hello, if anyone comes across this post I’m pregnant with baby number 2 (5 weeks) and the thoughts have already started 😭 I keep looking at my first born wondering if he looks like his dad and is this baby going to look completely different to his brother. I spoke to my partners mum today and told her I don’t think I can do this again, the intrusive thoughts didn’t start this early last time. She told me my son looks just like my partner and to stop worrrying it’s just my hormones making me feel confused. But my god what is wrong with me!!! I haven’t once had any weird thoughts and now I’m pregnant they’ve come flooding back, I’d have thought I could deal with them better this time but it doesn’t seem that way, it makes me not want to continue with the pregnancy as I can’t feel like I’ve done something wrong for 8 months again…. Anyway that’s just an update if anyone else comes across this post x

@Mumtobe888 I'm so sorry this is happening again. Are you able to get any help from perinatal MH?

Hey could we speak??

👋🏻 I have had these will all of my pregnancies it's honestly terrifying. Sometimes you get so paralyzed by them! Mine didn't disappear after both of my children for a very long time. But that's because of PND and PPA.