8 months preg and DH has made me feel totally sh*t about myself, sorry maybe tmi

[anonanonanon]

sorry I have changed my name as dh knows it and sometimes browses on here. I am 8 months preg and last night he came up to bed with a grin on his face....things erm 'developed' but just before we were about to bd he said 'I cant your too big' but then with a grin mentioned he wouldn't say no to me giving him oral

we've been together for 10 years and already have one DC (with whom he never once battered an eyelid when bd'ing even close up to 9 months. So whats changed? All I keep thinking is that he finds me unattractive & big, and i havent even put any weight on anywhere else, I only have a smallish shaped football bump.

this morning i couldnt even get undressed in front of him, he didnt notice but deep down this has really got to me, I told him last night but he said I was being unreasonable and that he only meant my belly was big. I just turned my back to him and went to sleep, no way am I going out of my way to give him oral if he cant be arsed with me and my needs.

Why am i so upset about this! Am I being unreasonable? I always felt so proud to be preg and of my belly now he's made me feel totally s*it about myself. In fact I cant believe how low its made me, i cud burst in to tears over this if i think about it too much. I am dreading him coming home tonight from work as I am worried i am going to burst in to tears and i dont want to, I want to be angry not upset. Maybe its just my hormones, sorry rant over

Oh dear, poor you. But also your poor DH, who by the sound of it made a jokey remark without at all meaning to hurt your feelings. I really do think your hormones have a lot to do with this if things have so far been as good as usual between you and your DH. I remember when I was nearing the end of being PG I was fairly irrational and prone to getting hysterically upset over tiny things.

was it hard to get close to where he needed to? was the posistion difficult?

maybe next time he says something like that say no, you first!

i know my DH worries about my SPD and needs reassurance it isnt hurting. we have had this very discussion on our antenatal thread this morning!

im sure its not you

I would be v upset too. What an arse. You aren't good enough for a shag, but you're good enough for a bj!!

I would have gone mental tbh and told him in no uncertain terms that he will have to be happy with wanking himself off until the the baby is born.

Speak to him tonight and tell him how much he upset you. Why should you bottle it up and feel awful about it, when it is him who should be feeling a shit for saying such a thing?

Maybe you should tell him how you feel, he may not have realised how much he hurt your feelings. He obviously still finds you attractive or he wouldn't have come to bed and made advances! It does sound like something you can work through if you talk about it. I am 6 months pregnant and already having more rows than usual with dh, partly because men can be insensitive gits and partly because I am much more sensitive and tearful than usual. But agree no reason why you should give him oral if he can't be arsed to give a bit too!

That does sound like standard husband banter tbh, that without the pregs hormones you would have found funny. You are 8 months pregs - you are BIG whichever way you look at it and logistics not quite as easy....try getting frisky later on give him a little of what he wants and then maybe move into an easier position for him to satisfy your needs.

He doesn't find you unattractive, he wouldn't have got to the frisky stage with you if he did....deep breath, have a nice bath (if you can still get in and out), make yourself feel all womanly and jump on him when he gets home!

I think he just wanted a bj but didn't think you'd agree without things 'developing'

I don't think he finds you unattractive etc - read what you posted about your previous pregnancy.

Alas, he has unwittingly blown his chances for the forseeable.

Apols for pun - sounds like he was being a bit of a twat. Tell him how and why he has upset you - then ask him how he's going to make it up to you!

ah yes good point WT.

agree with meely2.
I am 7 months pg and DH occasionally calls me 'fatso' etc. When I feel okay in myself I see he's joking, when I don't (hormones running riot) I take it really personal etc etc. Normally I never for a minute think that he doesn't fancy me (although admittedly even I fancy myself less when pg than when all fit and lean).
true what WT says as well though - he should make more effort. i'd tell him how you feel.
feel sorry for men at times at dealing with a pg woman is really walking on eggshells.

Fatso? He'd get an earful from me.
In my last pregnancy [towards the end and feeling like a beached whale] the bloke in the cinema kiosk said 'hello chubby'. If looks could kill...

ruty I do get my revenge as his belly has grown as much as mine in the past year and there's no baby in it !!!!

The postman called me overweight the other morning when I answered the door panting slighty from housework (31 weeks PG). I was so stunned at the rudeness that he walked away before I got the chance to correct him. I really felt so annoyed

What an arsehole, ThePFJ!
Get a dog - a large one that eats postmen for breakfast.

It has been suggested I set up a bear trap in the letter slot for him. I think this may be a plan.

Oh I can't wait to be called fatso and it not actually be my fault! I hate carrying weight but when I get a big bump I'm going to lap it up, having a massive bump is nothing to be self concious about, it's not fat, it's a ruddy baby!