what does this sound like to you? possible postnatal depression? 😳

[justhadenoughx]

hey guys

the first two weeks after i gave birth i had the ‘baby blues’ then the third week i started to feel slightly better. from the 4th week onwards it all came back again. i am now 13 weeks postpartum so it’s been a while.

some days are better than others but overall i just know it’s not normal. i don’t know if it’s postnatal depression or if this is just what other new mums feel like?

i feel very teary and emotional. i’m breastfeeding so tend to go to my own room but i don’t dislike it. id rather stay in my room with just myself and my baby. id rather be alone that interact with people including family which are in laws im currently living with. i even don’t wana go out to see friends or do anything. i would like to sit alone with just me and my daughter. when people come over to the house i don’t have any interest in sitting with them no matter how much people want me to, i just don’t have it in me anymore. but when i do this people think i’m being lazy or rude but really it’s because i don’t have it in me anymore and i just can’t be bothered. i’ve lost interest in everything. some days i won’t even eat and i’ll just sit there but it’s like i can’t help it no matter how hard i try. it’s really hard to explain 😩 i never thought i’d feel this way as i have my whole world infront of me so how can i have this feeling of sadness? i’m just tired all the time no matter how much i rest, and it’s not because of my baby because she’s really good sleeping and feeding wise but even then im just exhausted.

i also don’t want anyone to hold my daughter as she gets passed around. i carried her for 9 months and then went through labour which was very hard for me as things didn’t go as planned and then for her to be ‘taken away’ from me for hours in the day just to be held by other people scares the life out of me. whenever someone is holding her i just wana cry until i have her back. i know this isn’t normal and i’m trying to work on this but i don’t know why i feel this way.

what does all this sound like to you? any form of depression or is this normal? X

It sounds like it could be, baby blues normally last a few weeks and happens at the start but pnd would come a month in or so. I'd definitely speak with your gp and health visitor about it because they're the best placed people to help you identify what's going on and get you the right support. You also mentioned things not going to plan during labour, you can sit down with one of the midwives and have a debrief of what happened and go through your notes together to help you process and understand what happened and why. The most important thing to remember is you're not alone, this happens to loads of women and is completely normal and the best way through it is being completely honest with your loved ones and your team of professionals that's exactly what they are there for and they'll likely have heard it many times before. You sound like a really loving and well attached mummy so just look after you as well as you are looking after little one.