First baby, first trimester and I already feel so alone

[rosiebutterfly]

Hi all, I’ve had a bit of a sad life. I’m 34 have no parents as they’ve both passed and so did my brother.
this is my first baby, I wanted to make sure I was in a good mental health state before I brought a child into the world, I’m 4 weeks pregnant which I am so so happy about but I just have no idea what I’m doing to be honest, and not many people to talk to about it either. I wish I had a family like most people :-(
I just came on here to ask if anyone has any advice or guidance for first trimester please let me know ❤️

Hey @rosiebutterfly !

Sorry to hear that. It can be a strange time and j understand why you feel this way.

With my first I found reading lots of pregnancy books, and doing a hypobirthing course (the positive birth company one) really helpful. Also, it would be great if in a few months you could do NCT to build a network.

I've actually found making mum friends really easy so I hope you do too. Baby groups and playgroups when baby are here will be great and get you meeting people.

Just focus on eating well, sleeping, looking after yourself, gentle exercise, lots of things that make you feel good! You're never alone, you have your little bean inside you! 😍

Oh OP I’m sorry. Pregnancy can throw up lots of things, even when we’ve felt mentally in a good place leading up to it. It’s completely understandable you’re feeling this way about your parents. Are you close to your partners parents? Do you have any siblings or even an aunt or cousin that you’re close to? Allowing these people to experience the pregnancy with you (if you wish) could be a really positive thing. Sometimes people don’t know how much we want them to be involved so can it can a case of inviting them in to join you on this journey.
I’d also echo joining and NCT course and/or perhaps a pregnancy yoga course. I met some wonderful mum friends through this who I’m still close to 5 years later.
Finally, would you consider having any therapy? I lost a parent when I was very young and it shocked me how much being pregnant brought up all of these old emotions, trauma and new feelings about the loss of a parent. I sought out help after my DC was born but I think it would have been even more beneficial to talk to someone before DC came on the scene. Having therapy helped me immensely and years later I still refer back to it when difficult emotions bubble up again.

I’m so sorry I’ve just reread and seen that your brother passed too. This must be a very difficult time for you and I’m so sorry OP.

@rosiebutterfly im sorry to hear about the losses in your family and that you’re going through a tough time.
I have found this forum to be so helpful and make me feel much less stressed and lonely knowing how many people are experiencing this at the same time.
Have you got a close group of friends or one you can speak to about it? I think sometimes it might help to tell someone other than your partner.
I know some of the ladies on another post have set up a WhatsApp group that you could join so you can share any worries, experiences, excitement with them.

Also I am in the same boat as you! I have absolutely no idea what I am doing 😂currently 5 + 3 and this will be my first, 31 years old and panicking!

Keep speaking to us on here as well x

Does your partner have much family? Hopefully they will be thrilled when you tell them and will want to be involved.

Likewise if you can build up a support network of local mums to be, you'll find this a godsend. Apps like Mush and Peanut might help.

Thank you so much I’ll definitely do all of this and research books and the courses now x

@Summersun1991 thank you so much for your lovely message, I’d love to be invited into the WhatsApp group if that’s ok I think it would really help to speak to others in a similar journey x

@rosiebutterfly The first trimester can be a really scary time but it will probably get easier. You'll be tired a lot and possibly sick but it should pass torwards the second trimester. Really sorry to hear about your family that is heartbreaking x