To (home) birth or not to (home) birth? That is the question...

[Bumpin]

A little advice please... Hope you're ready to read War & Peace.

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my 2nd.

My DS is about to turn 2 (next week! sob) and his birth was very straight forward, woke up because my waters had gone at 3am, contractions started at 5am, went to hospital at 9am and he was born at lunch time. Sobbed into my tea and toast by the afternoon and home with a McDonalds late that evening.

The thing is... I hated the drive to the hospital, it wasn't helped by my DH actually driving 20mph the whole way, not exaggerating - so many angry overtakers, it was Covid so I was terrified that I would be told DH wasn't allowed to stay so I think I was quite nervous when we got there and not to mention I was in so much pain. I know that sounds obvious, being in labour and all, but I was still astounded by how painful it was. I demanded my birth plan was ignored and went straight to epidural.

Leaving the hospital was a nightmare, the midwife shift changed and all the computers had to be shut down for a technical reboot, we were told at 5pm we were free to go as soon as we'd signed one last form but didn't actually get given the form until 11pm. I know it's not the worst thing in the world by any means but it was sleeting by the time we left hospital and I felt like I had taken up space all afternoon.

It was mentioned at the time that if we had another we should consider a home birth, obviously this appeals because even in labour I am inherently lazy so not leaving the house sounds ace to me, I definitely felt most comfortable at home last time and hated being pulled out from my cosy bubble to go out to the car, I won't have to endure the comedy slow car ride, it hopefully will be easier from a childcare point of view for the toddler and afterwards I can eat a dominos straight away, right? But i'm terrified that on the day i'll be scared of the pain again and want an epidural, which obviously I sadly don't have to hand in my living room.

I've scoured websites and have read such lovely, positive stories about home births. I've watched that nice program on BBC where they all birth and drink tea but I can't find much on people who had an epidural the first time and then managed to home birth after that... I'd love to hear from anyone who had a hospital birth with pain relief the first time round and then had a home birth? Was it ok?

Thanks!

p.s I'm one of those babies that 'wouldn't have made it' had my mum had her planned home birth, I'm aware of the risks and still happy to give it a go so please no need for unrelated horror stories !

I didn’t have an epidural with mine, but I arrived at hospital 8cm so no time even if I had wanted to!
I had a tens machine at home and bounced on my ball, then gas and air at the hospital - at home you could have a birthing pool too. Hoping to have a home birth with my second! From what I hear the second time around labour is very different, a lot quicker and epidural much less likely!

I’m not exactly your target as I had a homebirth to hospital transfer with my 1st, and had an epidural. Had 2nd and 3rd at home. You do have some pain relief options at home but obviously not as effective as an epidural.

I booked a homebirth after a straightforward 1st birth with pethidine but in hindsight would have accidentally birthed at home anyway. You can change your mind and go in but not the other way so nothing to lose by planning to stay at home really.

I had an epidural in hospital with my first - had planned a home birth but started losing blood so went in (and was very grateful for the epidural!). My second was a home birth - contractions started about 11pm, gave birth in a hired pool in my living room at 6am. Only pain relief was paracetamol and a LOT of lower-back rubbing from my partner and I did most of the labouring in my own bed (on all fours). I had two midwives but I barely saw them until the delivery, they were just doing the occasional check, and it was so lovely and relaxed afterwards - baby was weighed etc and then I sloped upstairs to bed with him, a cup of tea and toast. I was in heaven at that point!
I would not have done a thing differently, but I do live less than 1km from a hospital.
I think you should go for it, as long as your husband promises to drive a bit quicker if you have to go in!

At first I thought it sounded like msg work for u. Some folk just seem to labour quickly and don't find it too painful. If u had an epidural with your first because of the pain then I'd be inclined to go to the hospital. Sounds like you weren't even there 24hrs no time at all really.

If u live fairly close to hospital u can always go in. However note that labour may be much quicker second time around. My sil didn't have time for any pain relief and they sent her dh home (covid times) next thing she had to push so very quick (5hrs first labour 2hrs 2nd) but she said it was so bad, the pain was horrendous. It wasn't quick for me 2nd time though either 😂 I got emcs but had already laboured for 11hrs by that point.

I had DS1 in hospital, managed without any pain relief, had DS2 21mths later, my Midwife said she would love to deliver my baby at home, DH was against the idea, incase things weren’t as straight forward, as things turned out baby arrived 10 days early, MW was on hols, I had DS2 in hospital 2.5hr labour, no pain relief, left hospital early the same next morning. Good luck with whatever you decide.

In current nhs situation I wouldn't - they cannot provide an ambulance transfer in case of emergency anymore. But my tolerance of risk is lowish. You have to go with what you're comfortable with.

It puts a lot of strain on the NHS. Please just go to hospital.

You have to do what you're comfortable with. Personally for me it would be a no, I had a life threatening complication after delivering my daughter (3rd baby), and wouldn't want to rely on an ambulance turning up at the moment.

Dd was meant to be HB. We had it all planned out- I was bouncing on my ball crying and squeezing dh’s hand, breaking 2 bones in the process (not even joking!!) but when it came to the actual birth there was complications which led to an ambulance and emcs under ga. Dd then spent 3 weeks in nicu. Just remember- plan for a HB and prepare for the worst (ie. Pack hospital bag)

I had an induced birth and epidural the first time round and an accidental homebirth the second! So probably not quite what you were looking for.

My second labour was precipitous, 3 hours after contractions started my water went, and 15 minutes after that he was here. The ambulance arrived 2 minutes after that, but we were really lucky in that two ambulances arrived really quickly - it was like, half 5 in the morning. Baby was 3 weeks early and I'd had no signs of labour.

Before my second was born I'd liked the idea of a homebirth but had been afraid of things going wrong. My second, though, actually brought me round to the idea of a homebirth. I think because there's a chance another would be arrive super quickly as well, and I still feel very, very lucky that baby was in the right position and nothing went wrong, though with the speed he arrived at I did have a third degree tear and another PPH. So even though it was fast and scary and we did have to go to hospital, I do kind of feel like another homebirth would be nice. But my labours and births have been at opposite ends of the spectrum so I don't really know tbh. Not very helpful I'm afraid!

Exactly and for the sake of digging into a dominoes pizzas why take the risk.

In my hospital, they have posters up advertising home birth. If it puts such a strain on the NHS, why do this? Genuine question.

my thoughts also! I know a couple of NHS midwives and both have opted for home births for all their babies as well..

I got my information on the strain on the NHS from a consultant (family member). He said the normal ratio on a unit is something like 3 women to one midwife (or similar), but in home births it's 1:1 or 2:1. And then if there's a problem, you also have the ambulance and strain of rushing into theatre, etc where it would have been easier to handle had it all been done on the unit. He really opposes home births for this reason.

Women in established labour and immediately after in the maternity unit should always be receiving 1-2-1 care anyway. An obstetric consultant should be happy it's being provided by a different team of midwives (ie not the consultant unit MWs)! A straightforward homebirth for a second time mother is probably about as cheap and convenient for the NHS as birth gets.

OP truth is that if things go wrong hospital is the best place to be, BUT things are less likely to go wrong if you’re at home because you’re much more relaxed so labour is smoother. So, it’s a calculated risk and much depends on how far away your nearest hospital is and if you have someone who could drive you there if no ambulance will come.

Re pain relief, relaxing in a birth pool at home takes vast amount of the pain away. But not all 😬

Discuss with your local midwives especially what they’re finding re hospital transfers etc.

I was evangelical about home births and was 1000% convinced that I wouldn't step foot in a hospital. But then one month before my baby was due, we found out that he had developed a lot of life threatening problems and he had to be born in hospital (and then spent the following three months in Birmingham Children's Hospital - ironic considering I thought we wouldn't even leave the house for his birth).

My point is that we were lucky that his problems were picked up on ahead of his birth. He definitely wouldn't have made it if I'd gone ahead with my plans.

I know my story sounds dramatic but honestly, things were going swimmingly until they weren't. So please learn from my (nearly huge) mistake.

Whatever you choose, the best of luck to you OP. I hope it all goes well and I'm sorry for my doom and gloom story, but it comes from a good place.

YABU if something bad happens to you and /or baby hospital is the best place to be. Chances might be low but it’s not a chance I’d take.

Depends how far from the hospital you live, I had a homebirth and it was great, I had gas and air but no time to sort the pool as it was a quick labour, but I live a 10 minute drive from the hospital and midwives were very confident if anything was going wrong they would transfer me, they monitor you so much in the last stage and I felt safe at home.

@beonmywaythen home births actually cost the NHS less and felt a lot safer to me that ratio that 3 to 1 in hospital, I was more concerned issues could be missed in hospital due to a lack of continuity and less observation Birthplace costs

If I had had my DD at home, she would be dead. Sorry. Please think carefully about your decision.

Many friends have had no problems with home births and were very happy but I would never take that risk following our experience.

My ds got stuck, they lost his heart beat and there were two crash trolleys just coming into the room when they put me under when I had ds, so I'm firmly on the side of having every medical advantage in the next room.

Worrying about a drive to hospital when the alternative might be losing a baby seems daft to me.

It's not a horror story though, in the end they got ds out pink & wriggling 😊, but there but for the grace of God etc.

Good luck wherever you have the baby. And congratulations.

How fat’s the hospital? I only lived around the corner - less than 10 mins drive, so it was a no brainier.
First birth was a bit of a tangle all ways round. Waters broke early so I was on a drip. He was back to back and wrapped up in his cord. I had diamorphone and ended up with loads of stitches. Not the natural birth with whale music I envisioned.
Second baby was much bigger (9lb 8oz). Lovely chilled out birth at home, just gas and air, and all the brews I could drink. No stitches. It was lovely. I’d thoroughly recommend it.
My partner was from a big matriarchal family and they all had their first baby in hospital then the rest at home. His nana and all the aunties sprung into action, cleaning my kitchen and bringing my tea round - I loved it 😊
What does your midwife say?

I can't answer re epidural (I didn't have one), but I did want to chime in as someone who had baby 1 at hospital and baby 2 at home... part of my decision to have a home birth was due to hating the transfer to hospital and wanting a more relaxed environment. I'm fairly sure my labour with baby 1 was longer, more stressful and more painful than it should have been due to the hospital factor. In contrast, labour with baby 2 was much more manageable and I felt very relaxed in comparison.

I posted this on another thread recently:

I gave birth at home with my second baby and I loved it. I would do it again if I had a third. I'll second the recommendations for a pool and hypnobirthing.

A community midwife recommended the book Why Home Birth Matters which I read before making my decision to switch to the home birth team.

Brief synopsis:

In the 21st century, women are supposed to have a choice about where they give birth. But when that choice is home, women often encounter obstacles, despite robust evidence that birth at home is safe, beneficial and should be available for women who want it.

Why Home Birth Matters is a clear discussion of the reality of modern home birth, which aims to show how the home environment supports and powers the birth process, while encouraging parents to consider how it might work for them.

I had 3 in hospital and then 1 at home. I didn't have an epidural in hospital but I did really appreciate the gas&air!
I had my 4th at home because my 3rd was very quick and we almost didn't make it to hospital in time. I figured that at home with my midwife was safer than a side of the road delivery.

4th ended up not being so quick but I'm so glad it was at home. I absolutely would have had an epidural in hospital, he was posterior and it was very painful but managed well at home without any pain relief.

I also really disliked hospital and went home asap each time (some AMA).

Funnily enough I'm about to have #5 and looking at my first caesar...