Unwanted pregnancy

[Mom23Bee]

Hi, I had a positive pregnancy test yesterday after feeling unwell for the past couple of weeks. As I already have 3 children, the youngest not long turning 3, I don't feel ready for a 4th baby. I love my children and I love being a mom, but I'm only 25 and I feel like I've missed and continue to miss on so many things in life. Early on this year I had another positive test, when I saw that test I immediately screamed and was so angry at my husband. This ended with me having a termination. However, after seeing this test result, I don't really feel anything. Not happy, not angry just sort of disappointed that this has happened again.
I can't be on any contraception as it doesn't agree with my body, so condoms have been the only thing we have used. I cannot see myself having another child just yet, but I can't help feeling guilty as the last termination completely broke me.
My OH is very supportive and has said he will support me with my decision whatever it may be. But I just don't know, I don't feel pregnant, I don't feel anything really... has anybody else experienced this or has any advice?

I understand, I’ve had a termination too and they can be hard things to deal with. Can I ask, about your contraception, did you use condoms and they failed? I’m completely pro choice but you also need to be responsible when it comes to preventing unwanted pregnancies yourself, your partner too. You need to find a method more reliable. Two terminations in a year when using contraception would be incredibly unlucky. Have you discussed your options for this pregnancy and contraception with your GP?

I believe we must of concieved when we had both had a child free evening and had a little to drink, i cant remember if a condom was used but my husband knows not to 'finish' in me, so he must of used the pull out game. And I think this is why I feel so responsible.

Ok well I won’t lie, you are both irresponsible when it comes to contraception. Both of you are. It’s something you should be even more vigilant about after having a termination, and you haven’t been. Now you’re going to have to make a really tough decision about if you can carry on with the pregnancy or not. Only you will know if you can. Whatever decision you make, you must find a different form of contraception. Get your partner fixed. This can’t keep happening.

Agree with this, condoms aren't a great form of long term contraception at the best of times but using them alongside the "pull out method" is just stupid.
Once you've made the decision this time then you need to get another method of contraception sorted out asap.

Good luck with whatever you do decide.

I agree completely.

Pull out game is not contraception -sorry. Like you I found that contraception doesn't agree with me, so I researched alternative methods. Currently I use Natural Cycles (don't be fooled by the name) and have so for the past 7ish years. I use it to prevent pregnancy, I have also used it to get pregnant:

link.app.naturalcycles.com/ls/click?upn=7kyTQ269VZ26fKWoOeXsEtJfSMgYFr4SmAjzI6RKtXGvYR8gtnUiO3BoGF4Rslv6GRjZLEiUQkQRsX3dkcpIikLJD3Ja1RJqL8KO4lF1NkE-2FQocDo5wsTCKZlFHEOre4XI8L8NlLjBFeahVBCeDzB-2FaVRN7m19E9f3w-2FeJNskOmTJOstZOH-2FPYLUWM4ER8xgfnd7OgGvLPZ2gLE07HIGrywS2S1Ww1GZvHh70GPfI7U-3D1NY7_FeXCKK7XIv7WDUkpgnM856HjcxwahPv-2BXEGymV03-2FhrXr1PWMdKFW7WouALiac9wuwxkO90I9ZQJcJCj7ff-2BvNR90K744mXKhNnkfwD6-2Fpv81rv26WN2NFWvXjq4qPf95MK5CquPO0CcgWo-2FQ6d68UJgrAUFzxR9gf-2FrFFAtf2yOMyMOVRHp1A1PoKbel5Eq5NNu4UmeqSt3MwxRxcHAmu3pQhp-2FlwhQoRhNe-2FsfZoemtl7oCW5rGsDIvIjZ1t4nlaJzLoNFyAvkyMfikHfAJRc6rwVcxZENF-2Byz7rnaPx-2FCCbf4IdO00-2BHhFlHySJcEGethBMiKhivQSH-2B4-2FhFtUyhwsA20lDQBuKu3rB6d7-2B-2FtWAKx-2BWBP9rgZsv1Sl5zaJGDjcL1iJh2xaSVCr6cClU80cTyFMVCLJaYnwht4k2hqbCUcXD6yd

Have a look and decide if this is something that could help you. You still have to pay attention, but it allows freedom (and no hormones) too. x

He needs to get a vasectomy.
You say contraception doesn't agree with you. Are you referring to hormonal contraception only? If so have you tried the copper coil? No hormones.

Why doesn’t he have a vasectomy?!

sorry you’re in this awful position again. You’re only 25 you might get pregnant again many many times from now on, you need to find another way.

I understand completely why you don’t want another one, you already have 3, and you’re so young. They youngest is old enough that from now on it gets a bit easier and you can have more of an adult life yourself and with your husband. In your position I’d want the same. Consider having a termination early, as i think it’s easier, for you and your body.

This can’t be serious?