Pending miscarriage, feeling so stuck, S&P?

[BlueMumma2018]

Hi,
I feel weird to post this on a pregnancy board but I couldn’t find one on loss.
i found out after my second ivf round that the pregnancy was failing last week (no heartbeat). It was confirmed at my ivf clinic via ultrasound. I have been under the local epu as I needed so many blood tests at the beginning to see if pregnancy was viable.

Anyway, I called them to tell them that the pregnancy is not continuing. They booked me for a scan yesterday (Monday) but cancelled last minute after my husband had taken a day off etc so it was so annoying. They booked me in for Thursday. I called them back to say I’m finding it very hard mentally to be carrying around this ‘product’ that has not grown for 3 weeks and that could I just book an appointment for management of the miscarriage, they said no we need to do an ultrasound first then book another consultation . Even though my clinic have sent a referral saying pregnancy not happening. They were so cold and dismissive.

Any way sorry for the essay. I’m just wondering how long it took for anyone to have the miscarriage managed by d&c, medication etc after it had failed? I feel like I can’t go far from home or live my life until this is over. It’s adding so much anxiety to an already crap situation 😢

So sorry you’re going through this.

I went for my 12 week scan last week and found it it is a missed miscarriage, baby stopped growing around 8 weeks but the sac and placenta have kept growing. EPU called me the next day to discuss my options.

Earliest they could book me in for an MVA under local was tomorrow so I’ve had to wait a whole week which is pretty torturous as I still feel very pregnant. Was advised not to have medical management at home due to the size of everything.

I think it is common to need two scans for confirmation unfortunately but it’s dreadful they have delayed your scan. Make sure you refer yourself back sooner if you have concerns beforehand. Or is there another EPU near you that you could call instead?

Just to add that the miscarriage association is a good source of information and support.

Hi @BlueMumma2018 I'm so sorry you're going through this.
The Miscarriage/Loss board is linked below, just as another place to get support:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage

Unfortunately they do require two scans to confirm but should not be making you wait so long.

The time taken to have intervention depends on what is needed, which depends on fetal growth size etc. I had surgery under GA because the fetus has grown until 11 weeks. That took longer to arrange. If the fetus is much smaller and you wish for medical management they may send you away the same day with medication. If it makes sense, the more appts or hospital care needs organised, the longer it is to sort.

I will warn you that HCG can take a long time to leave some people's systems - it took me 9 weeks after surgery to test negative, and scans showed nothing retained etc, just taking a long time for body to realise.

There is a miscarriage/pregnancy loss topic on Mumsnet too, if you wish to post there

I experienced this at 12 weeks with a missed miscarriage. I was told possible wait of a week to get booked in for surgical management so I elected to do at home

@BlueMumma2018 I’m sorry to hear your sad news. I had a miscarriage a few weeks back after our first IVF attempt.
I had my 8 week scan on 23rd August and was told, sadly there was no heartbeat, it had stopped growing a few days before. They contacted my local EPU and within an hour I was having a call back with an appointment 2 days later. I had a second scan on 25th August which confirmed there was no heartbeat. I opted for medical management as didn’t want to risk any scarring or issues with surgical which they advised there is a very small chance of. Going through IVF I didn’t want any additional issues. They gave me the pills the same day, the baby passed over 2.5 weeks later.
Hope you haven’t got to wait much longer and it passes quickly for you. Having to continue as you are is absolutely devastating for you x

@DottyLittleRainbow hi 😊 aww I’m so sorry to hear that it must have been so hard for you. Thanks for telling me about the 2 scans because they didn’t lol. The receptionist just said ‘they’ll sort you out after’. X

@Batbatbatty thank you for this x

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl hi, sorry to hear that you went through that. I’m very scared of the medical management at home as my friend hemorrhaged and was rushed to hospital. I have started some heavy bleeding today so I’m praying I get through it on my own now. Although I’m scared to leave the house x

@anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled hi, sorry to hear of your loss. I have signs of miscarrying naturally now as bleeding has started but no clots or major cramps. How long did it take you in the end? Thanks for reply x

@SH998 Hi, ah I’m so sorry to hear this. It really is devastating. How did you find the medication and that process? I’ve heard mixed things. I haven’t spoke to anyone else that has had an ivf miscarriage. I feel very negative about it all now and don’t know how I will do it all ever again. It will have to be a whole egg collection as no frozen left. How do you feel about it all? Feel free not to answer as I definitely know it’s not nice to think about x

@BlueMumma2018 Im gutted for you, after going through the stress and upset of IVF then having to face this is absolutely heartbreaking, however, I’ve now got a positive look on it and we CAN get pregnant, something which has never happened to me and I’m 39 years old so that’s getting me through it right now. The medical management I found OK, I started bleeding within an hour of taking the pills with very mild pain. The bleeding eased and continued very lightly and pain free for the next 2 weeks, it was extremely light with only slight cramps now and again and small clotting. I’ve always had very light and short periods so I assumed that’s why I wasn’t bleeding much. I was adamant I had passed the baby within that 2 weeks due to the little and few blood cloths I had (I was a little naive as to what to expect, my manager who had also suffered a miscarriage assured me I would 100% know when it had happened). Approx 2.5 after taking the meds the bleeding got heavier and the pain started, the pain was bearable and only lasted an hour or so, 2 paracetamols took the edge off. By the morning it had passed and I was very aware it had due to the size in the cloth. Everyone is different and the experience will be different for all. The worse part for me was definitely the emotional side of it. The wait for it to be over was unbearable, as it was almost 2.5 weeks after the meds I was told they probably didn’t work and the baby passed naturally as the meds normally mean it passes within a few days. The pregnancy test continued to test positive until 3 weeks after taking the meds.
You have to make the right choice for you, it’s never easy but talking about it to friends and family will help. If you need to talk or ask anything, please feel free, I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it who has experienced an IVF miscarriage and I found this site very helpful X

@SH998 bless your heart, it’s terrible but comforting to hear your story and that now you feel more positive. It is the worst heart break I’ve ever felt. Thank you for letting me know about your experience with medication. If I get to the scan on Thursday I will see what they suggest. I agree that the forums are so helpful. Its something no one talks about openly but so many experience it. Just hope I can hold onto my job and sanity in the mean time. I feel like I’m on pause xx

I found out I had a missed miscarriage at my 12 weeks scan on a Tuesday, before I left my erpc under GA on the Friday. I had to go back on the Thursday for a second scan and the pre-op,
Then surgery on the Friday. This was 4 years ago

I was told there would be a three week wait from my 12 week scan for an ERPC, pregnancy had stopped at 8 weeks. I went private and it was done the next day.

thought I’d update as in hospital and bored. So I had scan on Thursday, even though I’d been bleeding sac still there measuring the same, gave me option of Erpc or tablets and chose op. Told me it could take a week to get me in. I have been bleeding for a week today took a turn for worst, very heavy bleeding, fainted and hit my head. Rushed in ambulance with dangerously low blood pressure. Suspected hemmorhage given lots of clotting meds and drips. Anyway, staying in due to all this they tell me that they can’t fit me in for a scan for a week and they now won’t do erpc as they don’t know if everything has already passed. I’m in my 5th week of carrying this around and now they’ve delayed it. If anything I thought they would speed it up. So pissed off although the staff have been lovely