Unplanned 3rd child- kind advice please

[Mummy2boyss]

i currently have 2 wonderful DS’s who I (obviously) love very much.

first DS was a complete shock pregnancy and I had him at just 18 years old, DS1 has brought so much joy to my life and is now 5 years old (nearly 6) I managed to build myself a career whilst DS1 was growing up and when he was about to start school both myself and OH decided we really wanted another child to add to our family.

i fell pregnant with DS2 who has been such a wonderful addition to our family he is adored by DS1 and has slipped into our daily routines so very easily we are so blessed.

DS2 is 15 weeks old and I have just found out I am pregnant by complete accident with 3rd child and I am really freaking out about it. Firstly because DS2 is only a small baby and would roughly be just 12 months old when this baby is due and that terrifies me as the current age gap between DS1 and DS2 is fairly big with DS1 being rather independent and going to school it has been so smooth sailing. Secondly I am already missing work on my current maternity leave, I do adore my time with DS2 but have been looking forward to my return to work at some point and so having a 3rd is going to mean more time away from work which I worry about for my career progression (a selfish thought I know)

anyway to get to the point can anybody offer any positive thoughts and experiences to my situation as I am really worried about what is to come! Will I cope? Just to add my OH is very supportive and is thrilled I also would like to express that termination is not an option for us as much as I am 100% pro choice for anyone I just couldn’t do it myself as I know It would haunt me for the rest of my life I just couldn’t do it. Thank you in advance :)

You will be fine. Yes it will be tiring with two little ones but it’s actually easier growing up because they’re so close in age they’ve got loads in common and like much the same stuff at a similar lifestage compared to say a7 and a 12 year old. You’re not a first time mum so you know what to expect.
Like anything it has pros and cons but if I was honest smaller age gap was more tiring (bloody exhausting at times) but easier with life in general.

The difference between my last child and this one is 8 years. I might as well get divorced and split the kids. There is nothing an 11yo, 8yo and 12 week old have in common, nothing they can do together etc. it’s not going to get any better. Five 13 and 15 nearly 16? Nothing in common. It’s always going to be one of us has the boys and the other has the lass. When you’re knackered from looking after two toddlers hold onto that thought. It won’t be forever. My sisters younger two have just short of 9 months between them and they’re hard work but they’re so close it’s too cute. They do fight but I don’t think either of them have ever been lonely and if someone picks in one they’ll get hell from the other.

Our unexpected third is an absolute blessing and I am grateful for him every day. We were so worried about making it work re mat leave etc, and I did go back to work earlier than I wanted to, but it was a fantastic outcome for us and he slotted right in. Congratulations!

OP - congratulations! Your second & 3rd will have lots in common being so close in age. I’m only 11 months younger than my older sibling so my mum was in your position (also v shocked she says)

You are young & have lots of time to make progress in your career: this is actually less disruptive than eg a 3 year gap

Hi @Mummy2boyss , I’m in a similar situation in that I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant with my surprise third baby, my 2nd child is 14 months (11 corrected) born last year 3 months early due to severe pre eclampsia. We did not want any more- my daughter and I nearly died- and I even posted in here absolutely distraught when I found out. I found out late at 16 weeks.
however, since then (I went for a private scan and couldn’t believe I was so far on) when we decided to continue the pregnancy, now 7 weeks later I am so happy we are expecting our third. It’s going to be hard having young kids together however I think this baby will be a blessing, and I’ve had lots of people share that their third is also a surprise and how they are so glad so I’m actually really excited at the thought of the third baby after the shock has finally sunk in. Wishing you lots of luck with everything