Giving birth alone

[solosunflower]

Has anyone done this?

I have. I preferred it actually. It allowed me to totally focus on myself and not worry about anyone else.

Hope you are ok OP

Do you mean totally alone or just with a midwife? I had a midwife and a neighbour who frankly was not much support at all.

Yes I have, unplanned. It was surprisingly ok. Allowed me to totally focus on myself. It was my first baby. Would always suggest that a birth with more planning and people involved might be better

There would be a midwife.

Just meant no family, partner etc

Yes. First time had partner. Second chose not too. I preferred it without. You can focus on yourself and baby. I don’t know why more people don’t do it!

Done it twice, fast births, midwives great. preferred to get on with it as DP would probably have passed out.

Yes I gave birth to three of my children alone, it was so much more relaxing by myself, just gas & air and watching the tv

It's reassuring to know that others have done this, thank you

Yes, albeit unintentionally — baby came before husband could get to the hospital. I think I preferred it to having him there, actually. And I loved cutting the cord and having my baby all to myself for the first half hour.

I gave birth to DC3 without a birthing partner. It was during lockdown, DS was only 15 months and didn't know anyone well enough to be left with anyone other than DH for him to be at the birth. I had a student midwife who stayed with me the whole time. She was lovely. I actually preferred it to having DH there with DC1 and 2. Is this your first DC?

I've often thought I probably would have quite liked this and I wish I'd considered it as an option! I think I would have been more in control. Generally when I have company, I tend to default to them a bit. When I'm on my own I'm bolder and achieve so much more. I quite like being on my own and doing my own thing.

Yes my first child.

I don't really have any family and definitely no friends close enough to be at a birth. Daft question, but how did you actually get to the hospital?

I got there by taxi! However if you know someone who could give you a lift that would be good!

At my first birth I had a paid doula and she was supportive but also expensive. I don’t know if there are such things as trainee doulas who might be with you for a reduced fee. If you have no one close enough to be with you for the actual birth, do you have someone you wouldn’t mind keepi g you company during labour?

I got the bus up to hospital!

If its a possibility I'd look into hiring a doula who can advocate for you in the moment if you need it and just someone to keep you hydrated and give you encouragement and reassurance if that would make you feel better. I know a few women who've done it independently and I think they are complete badasses. It's absolutely doable I'd just say make sure you have a really well thought out and explicit birth plan written out that the team in the hospital can follow without bothering you too much to make decisions.

I got a taxi. I wasn't in labour when I went to the hospital, planned induction.

Join the freebirth and emergency support group on Facebook. You'll find oodles of resources and stories there.

If you have a really great midwife, I think it would be fine. My second birth was a planned home birth, and I was so lucky to get the MW who had done all my antenatal care. It was she who sat with me the whole time while my husband sorted all the material things we needed. It does sadden me that things seem to have changed so much in maternity care since then, though. Speak to your antenatal MW as much as possible about your situation, express your willingness to have a student MW if you'd like to and one is available. Hopefully you'll get great 1:1 care and feel really supported.

Yes I did, but then we all did decades ago.

I haven’t but with both births I would have been fine to get a taxi to the hospital, wouldn’t have made great conversation but no mess or anything like that.

I'm thinking about doing this but not really sure how it would work, my husband would be able to take me to hospital and I wouldn't mind him being there at the start but I know at the pushing stage I'd prefer it to be just me and the midwife. Are partners allowed to stay somewhere in the maternity ward but just not in the room with me? Like a relative's room or something?

Alone with midwife My first , 3rd and 5th men 🙄 took myself walked & buses

My 4th totally alone at home happened to quick to get myself anywhere

Do you have friends close enough to be a backup (to not having anyone) if you should feel on the day you need one.

I had a colleague who was mine. We weren't super close or even friends outside of worn per se, but it was peak Covid and if DP got it, I would have been alone. We aren't from the area, new even, and no family nearby.

She and her husband were going through an adoption journey and building evidence of their suitability. She even used a copy of my birth plan as part of their evidence binder.

As for getting there, you have time but if your waters break and that's how you start as opposed to them breaking them for you, you might be leaking with each contraction. Ubers don't like that so be prepared.

Get a pack of adult diapers for the journey and for the days after as you could bleed a lot later.

You can totally do this solo if you prepare! Good luck 💜