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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Second baby anxieties

5 replies

kate288 · 11/10/2022 05:38

I'm due my 2nd baby in 2 weeks (firstborn is 3 almost 4) and having a bit of a wobble today! Did anyone else feel very anxious on the run up to having #2? Feeling very guilty about unsettling my DD and also keep remembering all of the really difficult parts of having a baby (mainly lack of sleep) and finding it hard to find many positives. This then leads to me feeling really guilty as of course we are so lucky to be having another baby and she was very much planned and I feel like I've not done any of the things I did when pregnant with baby #1 to bond etc. So just feeling the mum guilt in all ways! Hoping this is normal and will pass....

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LASandOtto · 11/10/2022 08:09

I can totally relate. I had my second 3 weeks ago, my daughter turned 2 just shortly after DS was born.

I had moments of 'what have done?' in those final few weeks of pregnancy as I was also concerned about how things would work out. I was worried about how DD would handle the new arrival, I felt I hadn't prepared for the baby, I didn't feel as excited as I had before the arrival
of DD. However, the moment DS was born, I felt utter love and he's slotted perfectly into our lives. I'm really glad all my worries were largely unfounded and were just natural feelings of apprehension as life was about to change for us all.

I'm not sure if we're just very lucky but we seem more relaxed this time round and DS is a chilled baby. Yes, sleep is fragmented but we are working as a team. Every decisions made so far we've made from a family perspective.

Our DD has been really welcoming of DS and we've made sure she has plenty of attention. She's thrown some tantrums but we are doing what we can to make her feel validated in her feelings.

I ended with an emergency CS so have needed more help than expected, I had hoped for another vaginal birth but as births go, you cannot really plan. I'm currently in hospital again as DS had to be admitted with an infection on Sunday, so it's all been really crazy. But it's manageable and the overriding feeling is that we're a very happy family of 4 now.

I would say to just accept whatever feelings you feel, and not be hard on yourself. I did as many activities as I could with DD before DS arrived, cherishing that time we had as just the two of us (and dad of course) prior to our new arrival coming.

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 11/10/2022 08:12

OP what you are feeling is perfectly natural,I couldn't stop crying near the end of my 2nd pregnancy from the guilt of having another baby.

I never regained any sleep from my 1st DC so I didn't have that to worry about but just know, of course you are feeling anxious it is perfectly normal. Everything will be fine.

Loulou1712 · 11/10/2022 08:17

Yup, super normal! I'm due tomorrow with baby 3 and having the same wobbles all over again.
But - there's 18m between DD1 and DD2, and seeing them together is the best thing ever! It's why we wanted another one! Your giving your eldest a little best friend, even if those first few weeks/months/years are challenging x

user1491904912 · 11/10/2022 09:59

I feel like this (currently expecting 2nd). I wanted a 2nd baby very much but the minute I found out I was pregnant I was crippled with doubt and anxiety. I find it comes in waves; currently I'm in quite a positive mood, no doubt I'll have another wobble at some point.

I'm naturally an overthinker and prone to worries. There are so many unknowns in pregnancy, around birth and recovery, around how much sleep you'll get, around how you'll cope with 2 ... but I know as soon as the baby gets here we'll find a routine and get on with it. I've done it before and can do it again. Can't stop the worries in the meantime though 😁

kate288 · 11/10/2022 15:43

Thanks so much for replying, that's really helped to hear that It's normal, i knew it was but so nice to hear others who feel the same. Also doesn't help when everyone asks how excited you are but deep down you just feel anxious and worried!! I'm hoping my dd will adapt ok, I know she'll be a great big sister but will also expect a difficult transition because I know that's normal too.

@LASandOtto really hope your little one gets out of hospital soon! Sounds like you're all coping really well considering.

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