Pregnant with big age gaps….. can anyone offer advice or reassurance??

[Hopeful199]

Mamas with big age gaps…… any words of wisdom or encouragement for me please?

I am 40 with a DD10 and DS7 and recently found out I am pregnant after 5 long years of trying.

Feel so happy that I may finally get the opportunity to complete my family….. but am terrified about the age gap. It has been an issue for a while but I just couldn’t give up wanting a final baby.

Have read so many posts saying the third will feel lonely and like an only child (I am an only child but did not have a good experience so it heightens my anxiety when people say this) so am just looking for any good news stories or examples where it’s all worked out please

🙏🏻

Hiya, OP - congratulations on your pregnancy. My sister has a family like this as she had miscarriages after her first two. They are a lovely family, everything worked well and the eldest were delighted to have a little one to join them. They are grown up now and are an extremely tight family group. The biggest problem that my sister had was that people who didn't know them well presumed that the youngest had a different father to the older ones because of the significant age gap! Hope that everything works out well for you all

My oldest is 18 and I have a 13 year old and now I'm pregnant, I'm 38, don't know if this will be my last but if it is, I'm not worried, lots of my children's friends have the same and they all have lovely families, it's more common than people think x

Sorry to hear you’re feeling anxious. There are so many positives having older children! I’ve got a gap of 6.5 years between my two sons. My sister has three children with gaps of 6 years between oldest and middle child and 7 years between middle and youngest.
Personally, I think that older siblings can really enjoy and appreciate a new baby. Hopefully they’ll be a source of help for you compared to having toddlers around as well as a newborn.

You’ll get to enjoy your precious time with your new little one and be able to soak it all in without having another sibling craving attention as they will be at school. When I had second, I was so thankful that I had that special time with them before school pick up.

I don’t think that they will feel like an only child. My sister’s children always look out for the youngest… they have his back, it’s beautiful to see 😊

Enjoy your pregnancy mamma you’ve so much to look forward too!!

I have 24,22,8 and 7 and they are all incredibly close and spends lots of time together.

I also am 1 of 3, my brother being 14 years younger than me and we have a brilliant relationship and as adults still spend a lot of time together.

Congratulations OP, that is lovely news.

Congratulations! Our DCs were 8 & 10 when DC3 was born, and it’s been brilliant - they adored their little brother and loved showing him off to their friends (he was my DD’s show and tell at school!). He was very much a family baby with the older two helping out, and it seemed much easier the third time round for some reason - plus having on-tap babysitters really helped as they got older and were looking for pocket money. They’re 25, 23 and 15 now, and the bond they have is lovely - DS3 is v close to his older siblings and tells them far more than he tells DH and I, and loves going to stay overnight at their flats or going out for the day with them. He was far from lonely growing up - he had his own friends anyway - and with his siblings and their friends coming and going there was always a lot of children and then teenagers around which he loved.

P.S. should also have added that youngest is an absolutely brilliant auntie to her older siblings children. I know this scenario is a long way away for you but thought it's worth mentioning!

I am 1 of 3 daughters. I was 3 when I got a little sister and 10 when I got another little sister. Haha. So the same age gap. So there is 7 years between the other sisters. At 10 I loved how I could help Mum with the new baby. And we are all close. When the youngest was 13 she loved how her big sister had a car when I was 23 and could take her away on holidays!

We don't notice the gap. The youngest had role models to look up to and she always has the young and fresh ideas. We are now 41, 38 and 31. So it was not a problem for us.

Congrats on the pregnancy as well!