How would you feel - IVF?

[KatieBeans]

How would you feel if you were 10 weeks pregnant via IVF (1st time mum) after a 2 year struggle and your best friend told you she was 8 weeks pregnant with her 3rd baby?

I would say sooner rather than
Later in case anything goes wrong with her
Pregnancy (or yours)

There's no good time or easy time

Just deliver the facts

Perhaps I'm missing the point here, but I would be excited that I have a friend to share the pregnancy journey with. For the record, I've had my fair share of fertility issues and have just done my first round of IVF. My husband and I are keeping it on the low for the time being, so it does get lonely at times and I do find myself wishing there was someone I could talk to.

But you are right. Until they have struggled with TCC, they can't feel what we feel. I recently tried broaching the topic with a close friend who went on to gloat about how I should take one of her kids instead because she "could easily pop out another whenever [she] wanted". I have to admit, her insensitivity towards my infertility hurt.

Essentially, for me, it would boil down to what kind of friend she is. If she is supportive and kind, I would not hesitate to share the news of my own pregnancy with her (fingers crossed that day comes soon!). But if she is the kind of friend who is a green-eyed monster, I'd totally understand why you would hesitate to tell her!

I disagree with people saying wait for her scan - what if it goes wrong? If you’re still pregnant you’ll then have to tell her after her scan and that’s going to be far worse for both of you.

She’s much more likely to be happy for you now that she’s pregnant herself, I think you should tell her sooner rather than later. It will also be more hurtful for her if she thinks you’re hiding it from her because you pity her (I think I would feel like that anyway)

Has she announced her pregnancy?
Wait for her to have her 12 week scan and have her moment.

Unless there is a rush for you to announce too I would give some space between.

There's time for everyone.

I didn't tell my family until 20 weeks with my first because someone in the family had just given birth and it didn't feel the right time to make it about me. It made no difference to me to wait a little

This happened to me (I was the ivf friend) and my only worry was that if I miscarried and she didn’t I’d have a constant reminder of what might have been and thought I probably wouldn’t be able to stay in touch. Luckily we both carried to term and it was nice to have a friend in a similar boat with it all.

I think you are hugely overthinking personally and being a bit presumptuous of her feelings.....trust me as someone who struggled to conceive and did lots of IVF she will just be over the moon it worked and whilst anxious and nervous she really
Won't care you're pregnant

It's completely different to had she just found out her IVF had failed and you had found out you were pregnant

If I was me I would be happy for you. I had ivf and others pregnancies didn't bother me because my inability to conceive was not affected by others having babies. I would be happy for my friend.
i also went with a friend who had an abortion, again nothing but support for her as it was exactly what she needed to do for her and her family. She had no one else to turn to so had to tell me/ask for help.