Do you regret 2 under 2?

[Sunflowerx]

Currently 5 weeks pregnant and have a baby who is 1 next week.

Does anyone regret having such a small age gap in their kids? I keep worrying about how people are going to judge me, even though I'm married to the dad of both children!

Talk me down please ☹️

There is going to be a 16 month gap between mine and I am bricking it

There's a 16 month gap between my first two. It was hard work but fun. They are adults now and still best buddies. I'd do the same again. As I always say on these sort of threads, it can't have been too bad as I had another baby two and a half years later.

I never felt judged for having three under four. I got judged for having three boys alright, but not for them being close in age 😂

My 2 girls are 6 and 7 now. There were moments of regret when they were younger because it was really so so hard when they were at the baby and toddler ages. And I'll be honest, it put me and DH off having a third child although we are now considering it again.

They are very close and are each other's best friend😊

For those who had back to back babies...how hard was the toll on your body?

Me and my friend both have 2 under 2 at about the same ages. When the second children were babies I used to go to my friends once and week and sometimes we would both have a little cry about how hard it was (esp when the little ones were not sleeping well). It was very hard initially.

HOWEVER,

I do not regret it one bit, as soon as the little one turned 2 (in my both mine and my friends cases) it became so much easier. The children play together, they love each other, it’s great to have them both together on days out etc. We always knew we only wanted 2 so as soon as the second was born my husband got the snip and we were able to focus on our future plans, knowing we had our whole family complete.

This was me! Found out I was pregnant very unexpectedly with my second the day before the oldest's 1st birthday. Was absolutely terrified and fuming about the shock - and kept looking at the 1yo thinking 'how can I have another baby? This one's still a baby!' But by the time baby no 2 comes along, your first kid will be older, more independent, more verbal – a different kid, basically. And you're already doing baby stuff, so it's not a huge disruption to your life. I didn't plan this gap but ended up loving it. Second baby was really chilled because I was too busy faffing with the toddler to rock him endlessly to sleep etc so he was - and still is - a brilliant sleeper and self-soother. Kids are inseparable and can't remember a time without each other.

Currently 31 weeks with #3, my 14 month old snuggled on my lap watching a film and my 2 year old sat at my feet drawing in her colouring book 🥰 no regrets at all!
Yes it's hard at times, there's no breaks, blah blah blah, but honestly, it's lovely to have them so close in age as they're typically into the same types of things, so days out are easier as you're not dragging 1 bored child round!
We're soon to be 3 under 3 and I wouldn't change it for the world ❤️❤️❤️

My girls are 16 months apart and are now aged 6 and 7. Echoing a lot of other posts, the first year after the second was born is a blur, no time for yourself and very 'full on'. However, since then it has become easier and easier. Since the age of 3 and 4, it has been so good to choose activities and hobbies that they can both do simultaneously or as a family. They mostly get on well with the normal sibling arguments and rivalry, i really notice how much time they spend playing together when we see our family friends with only children or children with bigger age gaps who are always asking for friends to come over or to play with adults (Dread!). Also echoing others, a good supportive partner was critical for me. If you have a partner who is lazy and leaves it all to you it would be a real struggle.

15 months between mine. No regrets. I am really pleased to get the nappies, walking, eyes in the back of your head part out of the way in one go!

No, mine are 5 and 3 now (21 months apart) and best of buddies! Early days were hard, but I think having a newborn is always hard with the lack of sleep etc. I still found it much easier going from 1 to 2, than 0 to 1, because I knew what I was doing and much more relaxed. Never noticed any judgement! There are pros and cons to every age gap. Another advantage of having them close together is less adjustment and jealously in the older child. The older one is so young, that a couple of months in they don't even remember what it was like to be the only child! It's more of an adjustment when they are older.

Yes, we found out about DC3 when DC2 was 8 weeks old.

I've found it really hard personally. Much prefer bigger age gaps.

There’s a trend here that everyone with older kids says it’s fine! People currently in the trenches with little ones say it’s rough!

rose tinted specs?!

18 months between ds and dd1. They are now 15 and 13. Apart from the first few years I would say the positives far outweigh the negatives. As little kids it was easy to plan trips out that would please both of them. Now as teens I love listening to them talking together - it’s like they have a friend but one that they don’t need to impress. They confide in each other, console each other and of course, wind each other up constantly.
The first few years are a bit of a blur tbh, essentially you have two babies so no sleep, no freedom and constant drudgery. And of course lots of sweet moments!

Definitely not but I wouldn't have had number 2 if I'd been past nappy stage and night feed stage with number one! Just wouldn't have happened!

I had twins when my first was 18 months.

The plus points are now they are 6 and 4 and they are really close and play together a lot. They like doing similar things so trips out, presents, watching tv etc is easy as they like the same stuff. I got being pregnant over within 2 years (I hated it and had horrible pregnancies).

Negatives were the relentlessness and the exhaustion as no one slept for at least 2 years.

Would definitely do it again! I think a lot of women have DC older now so have them closer together so it’s more common than you think.

3 minutes between mine so there wasn’t a lot of choice involved 🤣. However, despite it being hard work to begin with they eventually played very well together and didn’t need loads of entertaining.

Now, as adults, they’re incredibly close.

There was eleven months between two of mine, apart from a couple of rude comments about “Irish twins” (which I roundly told the people responsible was repugnant in so many ways), I didn’t have any issues. It is a lovely gap! They can play the same things, have very similar needs very quickly etc. Mine are adult now and still super close…they were very different as children - personalities and likes/dislikes - and still are, but the best of friends.

We have a 14 month age gap, the youngest has just turned 1.

It's really hard financially, physically, mentally but I don't regret it.

We have no help near us so it's extra hard.

The impact of tiredness and money worries are starting to effect our relationship but we have open and honest chats and try and move on.

Being pregnant at 40 with a one year old was hard!

now 2 DS’ are 7&8 it is bloody awesome.

Nice to read some positive comments.

Mine will have a 17 month gap (along with an older DC) and I’ve heard nothing but horrible stories!

21 months between my oldest two. Found it very straightforward but they were easy going children and their father pulled his weight, and I had a good support network.
The best piece of advice i can give you is to accept that it will take you at least an hour to leave the house with the pair of them if you are on your own.
Best of luck!

There is 18 months between my two (they are 2 and 3.5 now). The first few months were hard (both had reflux at the same time!) but once the baby turned maybe 8 months it got much easier. She was walking at 11 months and it became easier again.

Then I went back to work part-time when she was 13 months and I found that really, really difficult. The last 3 months or so have been much, much easier and I’m quite enjoying parenting again. They are the best of friends and play together for hours at a time.

I can read my book and have a coffee for half an hour or so in one room while they play in another! It’s amazing! I wouldn’t change my decision (because of their bond), but I found/find it tough, especially when working too.

No. And I doubt you will be judged. Yes it can be tiring and there will still be fights between them but being that close in age guarantees they’ll have some things in common.

I had a baby 11 weeks ago and the next closest in age is 8. I regret that gap (not the kids just the age gap) because it feels like a divorce really. One parent takes the older ones while one has the baby. There’s nothing at all we can do together as a family and it will only widen the gap with age. What would a five, 13 and 16 year old have in common? Or twelve, 18 and 21? This is what my 8 year old text me after asking to go kayaking and me making suggestions of things I could do with all of them. Bloody heartbreaking. Enjoy your close age gap.

I loved and found it difficult in equal measure when they were little. They are 3.5 and 5 now and it's become so much easier. They are best friends (most.of the time) and into a lot of the same things so trips, days out and toys are good for both. The mess is getting less and so are the tantrums. Plus they are both much more independent. It will be fine!

Fourteen months between my two youngest. Unplanned. It was quite tough in the first year after my youngest was born but I have never regretted it and would do it again. They have had an extraordinary bond since day one.They are now so close it’s a joy to see…