Not sure who the father is... Struggling to cope

10 replies

Bakedpotatos · 04/10/2022 00:50

Please be kind, I'm worrying myself sick over this and I realise what I've done is stupid, but I'm struggling mentally and I can't cope with the thoughts of what if it isn't my boyfriends, as we've been together for a very long time and I've been waiting for this baby for a long time as well.

April 17th I slept with someone else who wasn't my boyfriend. I had known him for several years and dated a good while back so it wasn't anyone I didn't know. It was unprotected but he didn't "finish". I was having regular unprotected intercourse with boyfriend during the same time even though he knew I was seeing someone else.

According to an online calculator, it states that the earliest possible date for intercourse that let to the pregnancy was 21st of April and the most likely date being 24th of April. So that means I absolutely could've fallen pregnant by this other man doesn't it? According to scans I'm measuring 24 weeks and 3 days.

And now I'm absolutely bricking it and feel like doing something stupid because of what I've done.. What's the best way to approach this? I feel absolutely disgusted with myself and I already suffer from severe mental health problems and this isn't helping not knowing who's it could be

OP posts:

KJPrice · 04/10/2022 04:01

Are you going to get a DNA test when the baby is born?

beccahamlet · 04/10/2022 04:06

What date is the baby due?

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 04/10/2022 04:44

It's theoretically possible it's other man's but more likely it's your bf. Only a DNA test on birth would say for sure I'm afraid ❤️

Original poster

Bakedpotatos · 04/10/2022 04:48

Sorry forgot to mention baby is due 20th of January. I haven't even thought about a DNA test to be honest, wouldn't even know how to bring the subject up 😫

OP posts:

Rushingfool · 04/10/2022 05:03

On what day exactly did your last period start?

Dontsparethehorses · 04/10/2022 05:23

If your bf knew you slept with someone else the thought must have crossed his mind? I think a DNA test is only way to know for sure but in some ways I’d be led by your bf as to if he wanted one/ it would make any difference to him? Are they similar in features?

Jaaxe · 04/10/2022 06:40

Its most likely your boyfriends but obviously there’s not too much between it….when was first day of your last period? Also your due date was that based on a 12 week scan? What I mean is you haven’t just found out your pregnant? as due date is less accurate with scans the further into your pregnancy you are but very accurate early on x

georgarina · 04/10/2022 06:56

Earliest fertile window was the 21st and you slept with the other guy on the 17th and he didn't ejaculate? It's your boyfriend's baby

lightisnotwhite · 04/10/2022 06:57

You aren’t the first or last this will happen to so don’t beat yourself up.
If both men were having unprotected sex they must know it’s a risk. You say your boyfriend knew about the other guy so you were on a break or something?

As you know the conception date you can use that instead of all the missed period stuff. It’s 266 days. That would make Jan 8th your due date. So work on the assumption it’s your boyfriends unless it arrives early.

Its 2022 and DNA tests are easy and accurate. Be grateful there is a way of saying for sure as that’s something women in years past could only dream about.

Superfrog3 · 04/10/2022 07:01

It would be hard to be sure. I believe sperm can live inside the body for a few days, so even day of conception isn't always day of intercourse.

Does your boyfriend know you had sex with the other guy? If so has he mentioned it?

Flip