Worried about telling my dad I'm pregnant

[jp24]

I (28F) am anxious about telling my dad I'm pregnant. We're currently waiting to find out for sure via blood test. I am married, have a well-paid, stable job and a good career, and own a home with my husband.

My parents also get on well with my husband, but despite all this, when I moved out, when we got engaged and then married, my dad found it very difficult and did not make it easy. I am the baby of the family by 10+ years and he and I are extremely close.

Logically, I know that whatever his initial response is, my dad will come around and love the baby, but I'm anxious about his initial reaction, and him questioning us as to whether this is too soon. I know I can politely tell him it's our life and we made the choice to do this, but just don't want to have to deal with any negativity. It would also really upset my husband if he doesn't take this well, as he's already dealt with a lot of misdirected emotion from him at other key stages of our life.

It's easy to tell myself what to say to him if he's not positive and supportive, and to push it aside because his opinion doesn't matter, but I still can't stop feeling anxious about it and keep waking up in the night worrying about it. Any advice on how to handle this?

I felt sick telling my parents about my sending (my first was only 1)... my dad ended up being the most supportive and told me it would be lovely them having a small age gap!

I'm confused. Why is even an issue? Any normal parent would be pleased for you

Go round, tell them. If he is not happy, get up and leave, telling him to improve his attitude as you do that. Likely he will be happy. But I would clamp down on immature and self centred behaviour immediately - or it will happen again.

Why not tell your mum in person, so she can enjoy hearing the new and she can tell your dad. It could help your relationship with your mum too.

If he rings and starts to question why you're having a baby now etc you could try to be breezy about it and say the baby is on the way, too late to rethink - if he pushes tell him how upsetting it is that he's not welcoming his grandchild. If he does push it you are likely to get angry with him anyway, it may be the start of putting some better

The way to deal with the anxiety is to get it over with and tell him. Actually if I were you I would just tell your mum and let her pass on the news.

If your father is "put out" you need to develop some healthy anger towards his attitude.

You don't need his permission nor his approval to have a baby at 28.

This is your baby and your emotional focus needs to be on your baby, not on your father's very strange over-involvement in your life.

How odd.

@howshouldibehave in most areas no, they'll just go on urine tests!

When do you plan to tell them @jp24 ? I agree with approach of just tell them l, stress when you do that for you this is great news, and if any negative reaction, do not pander to it, be firm and positive "I hope in time you see that this is a wonderful thing sad"

*dad not sad

Don't tell him if he'll make you feel bad. Let someone else tell him. Then when he's wondering why you told everyone else but not him, say because he would be negative rather than share in the happiness.