How to my pregnancy being ruined by my (well-meaning) hypochondriac colleague?

[WDWY]

I am pregnant and my colleague who had a baby last year keeps dumping all her pregnancy anxieties on me, thinking she’s being helpful.

She was incredibly anxious (hypochondriac!) when pregnant last year, and I was more than happy to listen to her then offer reassurance. But since I’ve told her I’m pregnant with my first, she continuously tells me stories of all the things that went wrong at each stage of her pregnancy. For example, she asks me how many weeks I am and then says – when I was X weeks I had… (inset problem) e.g. really bad palpitations and I had to get a heart scan and I was diagnosed with a rare cardiac condition that was really dangerous without monitoring... so make sure you keep an eye on X, Y, Z. This week she told me about a liver condition she was diagnosed with that nearly left her with a still born. Honestly, I nearly fainted at the length of details she went into. She’s also offered to help me choose a cot that will decrease the risk of SIDS (honestly something I am not even thinking about now). I am not an anxious person by nature, but any interaction with her is increasing my anxiety.

I really want to tell her to back off to protect my own sanity. But I recognise that her need to share is likely as a result of her hypochondria, and maybe it’s therapeutic for her to share. Other friends have been fantastic at giving more balanced accounts of being pregnant that don’t scare the bejeebles out of me.

I also know pregnancy and birth is not a walk in the park, and so feel naïve telling her I only want to hear positive accounts – but I just can’t bear to hear another one of her stories.

How can I firmly tell her to stop without upsetting her?

"I'm finding all the pregnancy chat a bit overwhelming, can we talk about something else?"

As soon as she starts up, interrupt her with a clear, "Stop with all your pregnancy horror stories! You're doing my head in!"

I love the two very different approaches offered by the first two posters, essentially saying the same thing 😁

I'd go with 2 but I'm a forward gobby one, if you're less so and don't want to hit it head on go with 1!

Yes, you just need to find a polite way to say shut it! You can soften it by acknowledging that’s she's meaning it helpfully but unfortunately you’re not finding it helpful, just stressful.

Pregnant midwife here, I have had to tell colleagues to stop telling me their horror stories. I do the job, I KNOW what can go wrong! Had to stop my manager mid flow the other day 🙄

It's annoying because when talking with friends/family about pregnancy, I deliberately don't bombard them with the scary stuff. And if I'm concerned I tell them sensitively !

I would be blunt, "thanks but no thanks… I don't find it helpful" or redirect the conversation before she even starts

...and if she refuses to shut up, stick your fingers in your ears and go "La, la, la, la, la, not listening to you, la, la, la."

“I know you’re trying to be helpful, but I find all of these stories a bit overwhelming whilst I’m pregnant. All pregnancies and births are different, and I’d rather not talk about it. Let’s talk about something else”