Jealous of other peoples bumps?!

[BourbonBiscuits20]

So I know this sounds ridiculous and basically I need to snap out of it but you know... pregnancy hormones.
So I've always been small (5ft1) and a slight frame is just the way I'm built. I'm currently pregnant with DC3 and can already tell I'm going to be huge again. My last two babies were big babies (getting tested for diabetes this time) and my bump just ends up being ridiculously huge. I'm worried it'll be even worse this time with it being baby no.3. I also HATE that everyone feels the need to comment on it as if I don't know.
I find myself being insanely jealous of people who have 'small' bumps or even just small babies!
Looking for some words of wisdom really on how to deal with these emotions

It’s a funny thing. I had really small babies and enormous bumps. Someone I know had a really small bump and enormous baby, several years later I’m still scratching my head on how that large baby was hidden in that minuscule bump.

@HoppingPavlova is your friend tall? My theory is there's a bit more room to go up into the torso for taller people. With me it's nowhere to go but out!

I’m taller. 5ft8. Always have massive bumps and massive babies. Smallest 7lb 15oz biggest a ten pounder!! That annoying late third trimester where you can’t sit up straight and breathe at the same time so spend half your life at a 30° angle.
At the risk of going all Constance Hall - embrace the bump. Your body is flipping amazing even though you might not feel it at the Mo. It’s a work of natures genius. Real bodies are all shapes and sizes and so are bumps.

I felt the same with my 3 - all were big babies. My bump huge with my first but humongous with my second and it got big quite quickly with my third but, the growth slowed down and by the end it turned out to be the smallest bump of the three. I was induced as they were worried about his growth (measured 8lb on the final growth scan which is small for me and it didn’t rise enough from the previous scan). He was born 10lb - the biggest of the 3. God knows where he was hiding all that baby chub.

you might not turn out to be as big. my theory was that I was so stretched out from my previous two that there was more room towards the back of me for him to grow into 🙃

Ahh all I wanted was a big bump rather than still being at the "has she just overdone the pies" stage in the third trimester, I just think they're beautiful. Though can totally understand your feelings, there's just nothing we can do about our body shape. Have a few choice lines ready for any comments you don't appreciate and know that it won't be forever 💐

Absolutely @BourbonBiscuits20 your theory is true and massive congratulations. I would have loved a big bump!

My bump measured small (fundal measurement) throughout triggering extra scans. I’m 6’ and when I went on maternity leave the day before some of my colleagues hadn’t realised I was pregnant.

my kids were average size (6lbs 9oz / 2.97kg) but there was a lot of space in my torso and hips.

I would have loved to have had a huge bump.
It just shows that we envy others’ for what they have. Best wishes for number 3. Know that some of us are envious of your big bump.

The photo is at 39+ 3, the day before giving birth.

OP I also have a massive bump this time around (DC2) despite baby tracking steadily along the 50th centile. I hate it - the ungainly way it makes me move, the heaviness and physical exertion, the comments from random people, just feeling generally unattractive...
I genuinely had someone in the playground ask me when I was due, and when I told her she literally shouted across to her friend "Oh my god, Susan! She's still got 3 months! 3 MONTHS!!" then looked me up and down and said "Maybe it's what you're wearing..?" Like, what the fuck is wrong with people?!?
No advice I'm afraid, although I've stocked up on a few nice (but comfy) things to wear postnatally as last time I just felt so frumpy for so long. I figure at least once the baby's out maybe I can feel a bit normal / attractive again 🤷🏼‍♀️

I never got past the “possibly…pies?!” stage. Like a PP lots of people didn’t realise I was pregnant until I turned up with a baby. Several acquaintances were ever so politely trying to work out whose the baby was on more than one occasion. To be honest it was borderline weird, with people approaching going hello!! Oh! Who’s this? Ah that’s nice! And how old….? Looking tentatively around for the real mother of the baby to pop out, and/or asking me if I was the childminder or nanny.

Wow @RichmondMumof2 i think I was bigger than that before 12 weeks! You look fantastic though. This was just over a month before my due date though I caught covid at 36 weeks and she needed to come early.

I'm really short and has massive babies, random people asking if it was twins when I have my date - tbh 10lb6oz with copious amounts of fluid and humongous placenta is equivalent to many twins at birth!

I get you completely, no newborn clothes, knackered stretched baggy skin

Out of curiosity op when did you begin to show? Im 17 and a half weeks and starting to get a small bump and am quite worried im going to end up enormous. Im 5'2 and a size 6 so feel it will be ridiculously obvious.

Congratulations btw.

My neighbour had a bigger bump at 3 months than I did at 7 months! And it made me feel inadequate in some bizarre way (yeah, I know).

I think it is a little bit like hair - you want what you don’t have - if you have curls, you want straight hair and vice versa.

@BourbonBiscuits20 I wouldn’t say that friend was that tall, prob 5’7 which is pretty average height for a woman here.

5' 3 here and like you had massive massive bumps with all three of my pregnancies. I think baby had nowhere to go but out.

Like you, I hated it. I also had diastasis recti with baby 2 and 3 which worsened my feelings about it. People would constantly comment on how massive I was and how I looked ready to pop etc "oh you're only 5 months, you look like you're 8 months pregnant!" (Actual comment I received).

So I don't think you're being petty or should just get over it. Pregnancy is a difficult time for body confidence and people have zero filter. I wish I knew how to deal with the comments but I honestly just ended up doing a forced laugh everytime whilst feeling a bit shit.

Should add that that for one of mine I didn’t even have a bump, was just absolutely a massive ball from under boobs to tops of legs with it stretching right across side to side. 2 weeks before my due date a colleague (medico) helpfully gave me the details of his brother who had just set up a surgical weight loss practice and told me he could organise base rate with his brother. I said ‘you do know I’m 38 weeks pregnant right’ and he said he had no idea, just thought I’d become really fat (yes folks, this is someone who treats you in a hospital🤣). He was amazed as there was no bump, it was just a huge ‘swelling’ that covered my entire front torso. I am short though so that doesn’t help. For my others I did have actual bumps, really massive ones and my smallest, under 6lb, was my largest bump with strangers exclaiming I must be overdue or was I having twins when I still had ages to go.

Ah your post really resonates with me! I’m 5’2 and size 8-10 pre pregnancy. I’m 38+3 with my second and my bump is, again, enormous. People comment constantly - a taxi driver slowed the car next to me and wound window down just to pass comment and that was a couple of weeks ago. I have awful PGP this time too which just makes me all too aware of the enormous weight I’m carrying - and baby is measuring big again (last was 8 lb 7 which was termed big for my frame). Bump is even bigger this time. I too have neat bump envy, but I can see it from the other side too xx

In the same boat but I'm taller. I have a huge huge bump this time round and have constant comments about dates being wrong, perhaps multiples, a gigantic baby etc etc. or not long to go when actually I do!! Im shocked people can feel so comfortable to make such comments. Im also baffled at my size too as my first was an average bump, this one is just huge.

I know how you feel op. I'm the opposite though 7 months pregnant and you would never know even though it's my fourth baby!! I've been like this with all of them. I'd love to have a big bump and actually look pregnant for once! I'm overweight so this might be why I don't really show I just look even fatter 😥I understand how much harder it is though when you have a huge bump a friend of mine is 5 ft and was absolutely huge she struggled to walk towards the end.

Felt the same, was the size of a house in all of my pregnancies and all of my babies have been huge, my sister actually said to me I was the biggest pregnant person she’s ever seen 😒 I had constant comments of twins etc, some woman on the school run screamed at me “wow how big are you?!” Would have loved a nice tiny neat little bump, don’t care if strangers didn’t notice it would prefer them not to and all of my babies have been huge my biggest was 10lbs 4.

Anecdotally, the women I know who are taller have had teeny babies and the small ones have had whoppers.

I was honestly, the biggest pregnant woman you’ve ever seen. I’m 5,2 and she came out at 11lb 7. We had an antenatal group meet up when we were about 36 weeks and I was about double the size of everyone else, but my midwife was completely unbothered that I was waddling around with a giant bump!

This is a good point. My <5ft size 4-6 friend (who's also dealt with "eat a fucking sandwich" type comments all her life) had a teeeny bump. Her DH is also fairly small so they were never going to make a massive baby together. But she constantly had people suggesting she wasn't caring for the baby properly, secretly had an eating disorder etc, because her bump was so small. You can't win!

Thanks so much for all the replies it's definitely made me feel less alone!
Yes to all the people shocked at how others feel so comfortable to make the incredibly rude 'wow you're HUGE for xx number of weeks!!'
To PP about their friend having a small baby but small husband, my husband is only 5ft7 so how we're making these huge babies is beyond me!

Thank you lovely message @RichmondMumof2 and you're absolutely right comparison is the thief of joy as yours is exactly the type of neat bump I'd envy!

@random mess yes I had a huge placenta too! The midwives commented on how big it was and a lot of waters too! Some of us seem to hit a home run it seems?! I often thought about how it was probably the same weight as some peoples twins given how little twins can be when born.

@ShaneTwane I'm currently 12 weeks and I'd say it's very obvious! Hoping I've just popped early but I have a definite bump which is actually already becoming sore when walking a lot