People touching your belly

[ChristmasJumpers]

I am 14 weeks now with my first baby and have no bump yet. Baby is IVF so I've had bloating ever since doing the injections and it's stuck around despite me losing 12lbs in semester one from sickness.
Yesterday I went out with family for a birthday meal. My uncle's wife touched my belly while I was sat down and said "you're getting a little bump now". She meant well of course but whyyyy touch someone's belly without them saying it's okay?! And no I don't have a bump, you just touched my belly fat and pointed it out to everyone 😳😡

Yeah I hated it too. The worst was when someone I was interviewing at work ignored my outstretched hand and went for my belly instead. She didn’t get the job. You should have seen the look on the male interviewers face, he couldn’t quite believe it had happened.

@ChristmasJumpers -same as you , ivf pregnancy and loads of bloating from the meds and probably extra weight from stress-induced snacking! Happily didn't get many people trying to touch, but when I started telling people at 12 weeks, so many commentated that they already knew because of my bump. I was like 'oh, you mean my belly fat?' Nice to know people had been staring at it for weeks!

@ChristmasJumpers I actually remember chatting to you on a baby name thread before you started the ivf - so glad it worked out for you!

I really dont get why people think it's fine to do this!!! You would never walk up to someone in any other circumstances and just touch them, being pregnant doesn't make this any more normal

I had a colleague at work go to touch my bump and I swerved her 😂

the worst is random strangers who try and do it. I was on a night out at 6 months and my friends turned into body guards!

I’ve had four pregnancies (three to term) and no one ever touched my belly other than my DH. I don’t even think I would have minded if they had!

Never been pregnant, but I know I would hate it and always asked my SIL if I could touch her belly when she's been pregnant.

Pretty sure if I was in the situation that people were touching my stomach uninvited I'd return the favour. Maybe a mutual belly rub would make them realise just how weird it is?!

I was so happy and grateful to be pregnant after 3 horrendous miscarriages that I loved having my belly touched. It's different for different people.

This has never happened to me without them asking, and it’s always people I know! I would feel so weird if a stranger touched me.

Hated this.

If you can, take a step back when you see the hand coming, smile and say something like “There may be a baby ok in there but it’s still not ok to grab my belly.”

You’ll get it when the baby, strangers and relatives will try to touch the baby (particularly her cheeks) and the baby will hate it. Get ready now to swat them away before they touch her!

@KatRee I recognise your username 😊

We've been really lucky as we only had one NHS round of IVF and only got one embryo so I am over the moon the be pregnant. Maybe I'll feel differently about the touching when I'm bigger and invite people to feel kicks etc. but uninvited touching is just so strange, I felt like public property!

I've woken up today a little upset about it and worried that work colleagues are going to say the same about me having a bump when it really is all bloat (seeing them next week after wfh for months). Its probably hormones making me overreact.

Touch their belly back and say "aww, so are you!"

I totally find it an invasion on my space.

I’m 25wks and have just started getting this, it makes me feel a bit icky. In no other realm would you randomly touch someone without permission, even DH waits to be invited to touch rather than just grabbing me whenever. I have my parents coming to stay in a few weeks time and am already dreading the groping that’ll ensue!

@ChristmasJumpers -wow! What a lucky embryo- congratulations!

I had quite a few colleagues comment on my 'bump', and I told them it was just bloat because of the pregnancy hormones -didn't mention the ivf hormones on top of that as didn't feel comfortable talking about it at that point
People tend to mean well, but touching the bump, especially without consent is a big no - you would think people would know better nowadays

I hope you're feeling a bit better at the moment

I was expecting this having read similar threads on MN before but nobody ever did touch my bump uninvited! Maybe I gave massive 'keep away' vibes without knowing.
I did really start to dislike the constant commenting on the bump size. Every colleague would mention it to me about once a week, so as I have about 30 colleagues that meant 6 times a day and my patience wore very thin. It annoyed me that people suddenly felt able to comment on my physical appearance in a way they never would've before, and pass judgement on whether they felt bump was appropriately sized.

@ChristmasJumpers

Firstly a huge congratulations on your pregnancy;

People touched my tummy too but they're only doing it because they are happy for you.

Whether you are a little bloated or not it's a really happy time during pregnancy and please try not to let it spoil it for you ❤️

Touch their belly back and say "aww, so are you!"

🤣🤣

I just told people that I didn't like it.

I did this! If someone rubbed my tummy uninvited I’d rub theirs back! “Oh, is that not a socially acceptable way to greet people these days?!”

It certainly stopped them doing it again 😂