Trying to conceive :) First Time

[NH87]

Hi :) So basically, I have been married for almost 10 years however me and my husband have been dealing with me developing Epilepsy 7 years ago this December. We may have had a baby by now but life leads us down different paths we can’t always prepare for. It is thankfully under control, by that I mean I don’t have tonic clonic’s anymore only the odd absence after long years of so seizures which has caused accidents/ depression as well as medication that has caused weight gain even though Epilepsy can make a person lose their appetite for weeks! I’ve lost 24 pounds thank god all on my own, I’ve done it slowly but need to lose another 30 pounds or would at least like too before trying for a baby. This isn’t out of vanity, it’s for health reasons for me and any baby I maybe pregnant with. Any ladies managed to lose weight before getting pregnant and if so how? These last few pounds are so stubborn! Anyone who says meds can’t cause weight gain are wrong! And what foods in general are good when trying to get pregnant? It’s all I can think about at the moment. Babies, pregnancy, what’s right, what’s wrong, baby clothes, names lol. I wasn’t broody 2 years ago but I really am now. I just want to make sure my body and brain is healthy & throughly nourished/prepared before the happy time occurs, should it occur of course :-) Any advice is greatly appreciated

How old are you @NH87 ? If any older than 30, is recommend you just start trying rather than wait based on weight. How high is your weight?

For foods - generally don't starve yourself is the only thing, starvation diets will reduce fertility.

Are you on any birth control at present? Are your cycles a typical length?

For epilepsy - are you on sodium valproate? This is toxic to developing fetus so if you planned to conceive you'd have to move to another medication

Hi

Thanks for replying back, im new to this website so not sure if I’m clicking the link so it’s direct to you :)

I am now 35 so it’s my husband. I don’t mind admitting I am now 193 pounds. Not ideal it just came out of nowhere! I was between 140/150 up and down before the Epilepsy as I was quite active. My diets not the best at present but not the worst. As I mentioned in the previous post I would go days without eating after really bad seizures, sometimes 6 in one day so I’ve no idea where 40/ 50 pounds came from! I’ve lost over 20 pounds since switching meds so I am convinced it was my old medication! I never used to believe ppl who said their meds made them put on weight. My husband would have to spoon feed me soup after seizures just so I’d had something on really bad days! So awful

No I came off the pill when I was diagnosed and we use condoms at present.

When you say cycles does that mean how long are my periods or the time in between?

Typically 4-5 week gap and between 4-7 days long. Have noticed since I hit my 30’s periods have become heavier and cramps worse, sometimes wake me in the night, like I’m back in my teens. Is that a good or a bad sign?

I am not on this sodium stuff I have however been taking a higher dose of Folic Acid prescribed by my GP. Roughly 1 year. Is this good to use ?

Thank you :-)

Honestly,l @NH87 , I would start trying whilst you reduce your weight. Fertility in mid 30s does decline.

Cycles - cycle day 1 is the day your period starts; so cycle length is from day 1 to the next day 1. So that's about 30 days for you? That's good if they are regular - suggests you are likely to be ovulating.

High dose folic is because your weight is higher. Keep taking that and also vitamin D 😊

At 35yrs - if you try for over 6mo with no success, your GP will offer assesments of fertility.

Good luck!

Ps - you can find loads of discussion on TTC on the conception boards rather than pregnancy boards www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception

So I’m basically on my period now, some people will tut at me saying that but hey that’s life! 😀

Let’s say If I were to try soon, my period stops this weekend, when would I start trying next week?

I’ve never understood cycles and ovulations patterns etc that might sound silly 🤣I just know so many so many women, my sis included who are like, I’m pregnant! Wasn’t trying…it just happened…..taaa-dah! Ha ha

Thank you for explaining to me :)

Sorry for any misspelling I didn’t sleep well last night! Lol

You can get apps that will help you out with understanding @NH87

In brief, your period start day (proper bleeding not just spotting) is cycle day 1. Your cycle seems to be about 30 ish days long. Most people will ovulate 10-16 days before their period, so estimated ovulation is 14-20 but you'd want to cover 10-20 just in case. You want to have sex every 2-3 days before you ovulate for your best chance at conceiving. So every 2-3 days from cycle day 9-20 would cover all your bases.

Remember even with perfect timing, your chance of conceiving each cycle if you have no fertility issues is about 1 in 4

When you said at the age of 35 if I start trying for 6 months with no success a GP would send me for tests etc do they bring into account I am on medications etc ? And would they want to know my husbands age? He’s also 35

Wow! You’re so full of knowledge- thank you :-)

@NH87 they'll usually start with bloods to check you are ovulating and no hormonal issues. They'd send your husband for semen analysis. If those are all normal, they refer you to the fertility clinic for assessment (they do scans, a few other specialist bits).

Worth noting that the fertility clinic won't treat you if your BMI is over 30, so motivation to keep working on weight whilst trying. They will test, but won't treat. Though, you might find you have no issues with getting pregnant at all.

I have all this knowledge as unfortunately I have been trying for years. Currently pregnant again but last pregnancy ended at 11 weeks so trying not to get too hopeful.

They won’t treat me as in if it ever got to the stage that id be sent for IVF etc if I was over a BMI of 30? Is that the same even for the man? My husbands very fit cos he’s in the army, slim, works out all the time yet a GP told him he was overweight at 182 pounds I couldn’t believe it! 😮 lol

A female SGT at his workplace (his boss) is currently in her 2nd trimester and keeps bursting into tears out of the blue lol My husbands like OMG! 😂🤣

oh I see, aww I’m so sorry to hear about that. I’ve never actually met anyone with fertility issues so I really don’t know what to say. Must be an absolute heart wreck, especially when you meet ppl as I said before who are just like taa-daah out of the blue! Or that Alec Baldwins wife! Lol 🤣

Congrats on your new pregnancy though😊☺️ How far along are you ? I bet you are so nervous but you’re still allowed to be excited at the same time 😄 After all that hard work …..Relax, put your feet up ha ha…and dish out all the advice you’ve learned to women like me!😉

So basically fertility queries pathway is:

1. GP does some assessment
2. Refers to fertility clinic
3. They do some assessment

4a. If no issue found, tell you to try for a bit longer 4b. If they do find an issue, offer treatment (medication, IVF, icsi - depends on issue found)

For treatment, all NHS trusts/healthboards have conditions, one of which is normally female BMI under 30 (eg not obese). Don't typically bother about male bmi. They often have age restrictions too so worth googling for your healthboard.

hi I just wanted to share I feel for you, I’ve also got epilepsy which was luckily diagnosed in my teens. I did though suffer bad which weight gain from the meds. Are you on Epilim? I gained 3 stone in 6 months with the increased appetite and then although the doctor didn’t seem to believe me manage to change to another med and lost the weight.
I also suffered with fertility issues with my first hopefully the motivation for wanting a child will help you and lose weight. Best of luck!

@Sam478 just to highlight that I think epilum is valproate? Have a family member who takes epilum

Sorry typo!

Hi Sam478, thanks for messaging me :)

I was on Keppra at first which I truly believe sent me do-lally alongside the weight gain! Not sure if that’s the same brand? They were awful, I was so depressed on them and the weight just came out of nowhere!
I was on other meds as well but I can’t pronounce them let alone spell them lol 😀

The Meds I take presently are Brivaracetam/ Zonisamide and I take 1 Clobazam at night and that’s only if I’ve had a seizure which so far are getting less and less :-) which is why we are really hoping to start tying soon.
*Can only spell them as I have them here 😉

I really thought we’d have a baby by now but I never imagined I’d be diagnosed at 28 and it’s been a struggle these last few years. Its not a case of taking meds and everything under control, it’s been such an up and down rollercoaster for me and my lovely husband who had helped me beyond words!

They say a woman’s eggs decline after age 35 so as you can imagine I’m a bit worried. May I ask, what sort of support did you get when going through your fertility issues? By that I mean where they aware of your epilepsy etc And did you still take meds when trying/ during your pregnancy?

I’ve lost almost 30 pounds since last Xmas, no idea how cos I’m not as physically active as I used to be and let’s just say my diets not the best (chocolate lol)
Being an Epileptic sufferer I’m sure you know it just wipes you off your feet for weeks! Lol all you want to do is sleep after a seizure

30 pounds might not seem like loads to some but I’m glad it’s coming off slowly in a sense, they do say lose weight slowly as it’s more heathy, it’s just these last 20-30 pounds are the most stubborn!

it’s really not a vanity thing as previously mentioned, I just want to make sure my body and more importantly my brain is healthy and fully functioning for by the time I’m carrying a little one.

Seizures have made me have so many accidents like fall down the stairs and wake up there upside down! drop a cup of green tea onto my legs which resulted in a skin graft, fall into the bedside cabinet and cause the most awful black eye! God so many! So as you can imagine I’m anxious about getting pregnant as well as excited

Thanks for letting me know your story, I don’t know many people with Epilepsy and until you’ve had it, it’s hard to understand! X x

I’m actually on keppra now and finding it fine with my weight, although do think it effects my mood swings and emotions.

Try not to worry about your age too much, you’ll see lots of posts from much older people who managed fine. I was 34 when I had my first and now 36 pregnant with my second. I don’t think I got treated differently with fertility help having epilepsy but when pregnant I’ve got a epilepsy midwife for support and do get extra growth scans.

After trying for a year for a first i went to the doctors who referred me to the fertility clinic they did lots of tests and luckily me and my husband came back fine. I was worried as my mum and sister both had to take fertility drugs as weren’t ovulating. They said to keep trying for the next few months then once it got to 2 years we’d start ivf. Luckily just before the 2 years I got pregnant, I did go for acupuncture that month so don’t know if it helped or not.

i would recommend getting an app to track your cycles and least it gives you can idea when you’re most fertile. Then I just made sure we were trying every other around those couple of weeks. Just try and relax and not worry too much at the start, You never know you might be one of the lucky ones who it happens for quick.