Feeling forced to tell work about my early pregnancy

[Swash01]

Hi,

First time poster here but felt this was the right forum to ask.

I found out yesterday that I am 4 weeks pregnant. It was planned but we were very lucky and conceived quickly so obviously we are happy.

For obvious reasons I would like to wait until my first scan to announce my pregnancy but I have a problem..

I am an engineer and work in an unsafe (for pregnancy) environment. I am also currently waiting to hear (anytime now) about a promotion I am very sure I have a great chance of getting.

I go back to work after some leave on Friday and I'm feeling so so anxious about having to tell my boss so early (which would then mean the whole workforce would know because I would immediately have to be given a different role for safety. I am the only woman who does the job so it would be obvious).

I feel stuck between having to jeopardise my promotion and the privilege of privacy for 12 weeks, and keeping my baby safe.

Obviously I have no choice and the safety of my baby is my number 1 priority but I guess I just hoped someone else has been in a similar position? Working in a male dominant industry is difficult enough at times so I struggle to find any other women who can relate.

I'm naturally and massive overthinker so this is making me so stressed.

Thanks in advance,

Swash01

Congratulations on your pregnancy, unfortunately there's not much you can do but tell your boss. You could ask that they don't share the news,with anyone else until you've had your scan. I'm sure the other people you work with will speculate but it's up to them

You know your local work environment. If it's not safe for pregnancy, you need to let someone know ASAP.

How long is the promotion likely to take to come through? If you are talking days, can you not go onto site while you do some paperwork? But baby's safety needs to come first.

Congratulations!

How is it unsafe? Due to chemical exposure? I would wait to hear about the promotion before discussing it with my manager if I thought I could manage the risk somewhat, bearing in mind some women don't discover they're pregnant until much later!

Thanks everyone!

@BigSidLittleSid yes I work with a lot of chemicals and also fumes from engines etc so it's not an option to continue with my normal role.

@StillNotWarm it could be days or a couple of weeks so too long to wait.

@Aretheyhavingalaugh thank you.

I know I've just got to do it but just feeling overwhelmed. It's a lot to take in (it's my first pregnancy) and I really believed it would take a long time to conceive as I'm mid thirties so it's all a bit of a shock.

I'm very grateful and just hope everything goes OK 🙏 thank you again.

Hey, I was in a similar situation where by as soon as I told my boss I had to move into an office based role and being female my colleagues very quickly put two and two together. Could you possibly take some sick time for even a couple of weeks ( pregnancy related sick doesn't usually count) and then you've removed yourself from the hazards and informed your boss (so they know the real sickness reason) but also given yourself a bit of a gap before the rest of work has to know... Could even tell them you were off with a bad back or similar and so that's why you're not returned to the 'shop floor' straight away 🤷

The plus said of telling them early is that you have more protected rights as a pregnant woman.

Also I understand the 12 week thing but if the worst were to happen you would maybe have to explain to work anyway and at least this way I would hope they support you.

I had to declare my hand early as we had ivf so my boss knew quite soon after successful. I'm a teacher so couldn't use holiday for treatment etc. luckily my headteacher was very supportive.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

@rieb95 thanks for sharing. I was considering calling in sick on Friday but my OH says it's just pushing the inevitable to next week, which I suppose it is.

I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it. It's just so overwhelming and I'm anxious about it anyway, so being so early and what feels like the whole world knowing just adds to the pressure.

I appreciate you sharing your experience, as I said it's difficult to find women who truly understand as not a lot work in such male dominant industries (hopefully that changes in the future).

Thanks again x

@babynoname22 thank you. I suppose you're right, I guess I just need to do it and hope everything goes OK x