How far ahead of due date do you need to take it easy?

[Dasher789]

Iv been invited on a hen do. The bride has invited me personally so i am assuming she is arranging it. She has suggested it will involve a meal and then a celebration. The proposed date is 11 days before my due date or 5 days before likely date of elective section if I go down that route (the hospital only does them once a week). Am i mad to be considering it or is it likely i could make the meal and then go home? It is DC1 so never been in this situation before.

I would like to go if i could but if i will be v uncomfortable then happy to make an excuse and clarify my reasons in a few weeks (we have not yet told friends). The wedding is a couple of months after the proposed hen date so il definitely be at that.

A meal out - provided you’ve got a plan if your water’s suddenly break out - should be fine.

I worked up until my due date with DC1, and was at a concert at the o2 centre a week before I had DC2. But I wanted to do these things. Hard to know how you’ll feel, but if you’re healthy, you’ll manage a dinner out I’m sure.

I turned down going to a meal a few weeks before my due date because it was at 9.30pm- no way could I stay awake for that and also because it was an hours drive away, with my bladder that was a risk. But a local meal at 7pm I could easily have done. Depends, you may need an option to drop out.

Well I walked 7 miles the day DC3 was born....it just depends how you feel!

I went to an evening wedding reception three days past my due date with my first, knowing that I was 2-3cm dilated, waters bulging, glad I went, I didn't stay late though. Made sure notes and hospital bag were in the car :)

This time round I declined invites to most things as was swollen and very uncomfortable, would she mind if you asked to see how you feel closer to the time?

I went to a leaving for on my due date with DS1. It was a 20 minute drive and DH was happy to come and get me if necessary. If I’d done nothing I’d have been beyond bored as DS1 was 2 weeks late.

(DM was working an hour’s train ride from home when her waters broke with me).

I went to my boss's big birthday celebration meal at 10 days before due date with my first. It was fine, but I went home when they moved onto a bar. I also took the train (as frankly, my driving ability turned to shit in the last month or so) and getting home wasn't fun as there had been a sporting event so the train was heaving and there was lots of pushing and shoving. In your shoes I'd go but see if I could get a lift and I'd just do the meal.

I booked myself up right up to my due date, I had to miss a hen do 3 weeks before as i was being induced 😂. As far as I'm concerned life goes on until labour happens !

I went to 2 weddings and did a hike the week before I gave birth but it’s honestly so variable about how you feel. I could manage by taking things slow and downing gaviscon. If you end up with SPD you may feel differently and it’s hard to predict

My eldest was 8 days early so ....
Seriously though I could have gone to a local dinner right up until he came.

Just don't commit to too much. Say you'll go for dinner but plans might have to change

I mowed the yard a few hours before my daughter was born, I felt fine. Not every woman is incapacitated when heavily pregnant.

You could accept just the dinner part if it's nearby, but perhaps check that it'd be OK to cancel if you weren't feeling up to it on the day? Would a deposit need to be paid etc.
As long as it's easy to get to and not too late you'll probably be ok but hard to know how things progress sometimes!

I went to two weddings the week I was due, baby was forced out two weeks later. Providing it is local I'd go.

I would keep making plans, I find it's people who stop weeks before due date find the wait insufferable. Plus make the most of your freedom!

With DD1 I went to a dinner party and caused shock and horror when asked when my due date was and told them I was due to get induced at 8am the next morning! (It was cancelled though as she wasn't ready... she came 5 days later)

With DD2 the midwives were concerned about my blood pressure and I needed to take it easy (well as easy as you can while looking after an 18mo!). I took her to the nursery bake sale in the morning, and had DD2 in the afternoon (again causing shock to different people as they had seen me that morning... labour had started shortly after I got home)

Listen to your body. You might have a baby by then. Or be energetic. Or be exhausted. You don't know.

I had my last big social dinner out in town about 2 weeks before my due date and remember being quite tired. After that I mostly stayed close to home and just went on lots of little walks.

I was induced at 38 weeks so no!

Seriously though, plan to be flexible. If it's the sort of thing where you have to book in advance, can't cancel, high cost then I wouldn't do it. I went out for a meal with friends four days before I was induced - I knew it was happening, they didn't. I was 37+3 and was very uncomfortable during the meal. Found it hard to sit for any length of time, couldn't eat much in one go and got fed up with heaving myself up the stairs to the loos!

You'll be fine, it'll be your last chance to go out for a while and if you're anything like me you'll be bored stuff by then.

I walked 12km on my due date with DC1 but had my bag packed and ready to go from week 37.

No reason you can't do things, just be ready in case things start!

I worked right up to 38.5 weeks. Did probably over 60hours at work that week including late finish on the Fri then round to the work drinks. Went into labour the next day.

I was very tired when I was pregnant, I was also very active though (daily long walks with my dog) and working.
Depends how you feel- decide nearer the time.

I would say 'yes' but on the understanding that it might change at last minute or you might not be able to stay long. With ds1 I was teaching full time in a special school up to 38weeks. With ds2 I could barely walk in the afternoons/evenings. DS1 was born 3 days after I finished work and ds2 hung on for an extra 2 weeks! There is no way of knowing how you will feel or what the baby will decide to do!

I'm currently 39+2 and there is absolutely no chance I would want to go on a hen do right now. I am absolutely exhausted and really quite uncomfortable most of the time. Even standing up off the couch is a challenge at the moment! 😂 That being said, we went away for a week a couple of weeks ago and I was fine most days to walk round towns, wander round castles and go out for meals in the evening and some days are still better than others now. I think it varies so much from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy so, if possible, I would make a call closer to the time when you know how your body is handling the pregnancy and whether you feel up to it. I'm sure the bride will understand if you need to pull out.

Thanks very much everyone for sharing your experiences. I think il sign up for it and worst case i can pull out. Id really like to go before my life changes immeasurably lol! Will definitely just do the meal and then bus home. I'm not a huge night out person anyway so that suits me fine. Fingers crossed I can go!