Unplanned pregnancy, partner against it but still with me.

[amywhattodo]

Has anyone experienced an unplanned pregnancy where your partner says they didn’t want it but eventually becomes a doting loving father? He is still with me but definitely tortures me now & again with giving me cold treatment and how much he doesn’t want this baby.

just curious as to whether some men change their mind once the baby is here?

would love to hear of some of your experiences

What is he doing that is 'torturing' you?? If he's acting like that now then you need to get shot of him before this gets much worse for you and your baby.

Is he hoping the baby will disappear or that you will change your mind?

Stonewalling is abuse, in what way does he torture you? You should not be dating an abuser. Everytime a woman thinks ‘maybe he’ll change’-that’s your sign to dump him.
Plan to lone parent, the boyfriend sounds low quality, unlikely to be long term. Hopefully he can use contraception in future.

He will only get more resentful as the pregnancy progresses. There are plenty of threads here created by ladies in your same predicament. Listen to what he is telling you.

If you want this baby then plan to do it by yourself. Take control of the situation now because it’s only going to get harder as your due date gets closer.

If he wants to be a father then he’ll make the effort but don’t be waiting around for him to step up.

Google the sunk cost fallacy, firstly.

But what @Pollywoddles said. There are sooo many threads on the relationship board from women who are pregnant, two, three kids in still hoping they’re partner will ‘change’ with the latest baby. They’re shit Dads, don’t do any parenting and are crap role models for the kids. They don’t see it as their ‘job’ to look after the baby and then throw the ‘well you wanted it’ line in.

Dont have this baby expecting him to change. You’ll end up resenting him and feel trapped. If he’s torturing you about it then that could be emotional and mental abuse and this is not ok. In which case is this the sort of man you want around your child?

You need to take control here.

You need to have a serious discussion about whether he is prepared to be a father. If not then he needs to go

Thanks so much for your response. Just that some days he is normal and kind and other days very cold in responses and when I ask him about why he’s being he distant and cold he tells me how much he doesn’t want this. Just wondering whether they ever do come around once the baby is born.

How pregnant are you? Do you live together?

If he did come around would you forgive him for how he’s treated you?