need a virtual hand hold!

[nervousal]

I'm still bleeding quite heavily (seemed to settle and then this morning got worse again). I've called EPAU and have an appointment with them this pm. I'll have to go on my own (partner works 1 and half hours communte away and won't be able to get back) and to be honest - I'm scared. What are they likely to do? Am I likely to have to go for a D&C?

Sorry, can't help you sweetheart - just wanted to bump the thread for you.{{{hugs}}}

have you already had a scan?

is your appt for a scan?

What time?

Not sure what the appointment is for. I cancelled my scan appointment a few days ago (which was for next Monday). I called them this am to ask if it was normal to be bleeding heavily for this long and they just asked me to go up this pm so that they could "see what was going on". Its at 2.15

It is likely that they will scan you, either with the normal machine, or an internal one (it's surprisingly ok, don't worry about it)

They will then be able to see if the baby is ok, the right size for dates, etc. They should be able to see it's heartbeat if it is big enough. How far gone are you?

Consider your hand virtually held... I am here on and off all day, and if you want to squeeze my knuckles, feel free

Squonk - I'm already 99.9% sure that I've lost my baby - this visit is not to see if baby is OK - its to see if I'M ok. The visit it not to see if pregnancy is ok - its to see if my mc is normal.

Sorry - but its upsetting that people keep saying that I might still be pregnant - I'm not.

right.

Gotcha. That was where I was when I had my mc. Didn't realise you were so sure of this, I was trying to be positive for you.

Right, in that case, is there any way that you can get someone to go with you? It's not going to be pleasant, even if you are 100% certain that you have lost the baby, hearing the words makes it real and it is upsetting.

When I had my mc, I bled for about four days, on the second day the EPU scanned me and told me that there was a sac there but they couldn't tell if there was a viable baby inside as it was too small - only about 6 weeks. I knew that I had to be at least 11 weeks pg, so I realised then that it was not going to happen.

I actually physically lost the baby two days later, it just kind of slipped out. They made me go back to the EPU to make sure that everything had gone and in my case it had, so they didn't need to do a D & C.

They did say that had I needed a D & C they would have booked me in some time the following week, so it is unlikely that they would do this to you today, whatever the outcome.

They will still scan you today to see what is going on. This is likely to be in the ante-natal department, which is absolutely not where you want to be.

fwiw, after my mc, I went on to have two healthy children.

Again, I am here if you need more virtual hand holding.

Good luck

thank-you for that info. Sorry if I seemed tetchy above. Luckily its in a separate department - so no/little chance of running into babies/heavily preg women.

My Mum could come with me - but she's looking after my daughter this pm, so I'd need to arrange for other granny to have her - and that would turn this all into a complete drama, which I don't want.

I thought this mc was over - I'm back at work (I know - far too early, but I have a couple of important things I need to get done) Think I should maybe take some more time off

If you feel that you need time off, then tis perfectly ok to take it. I didn't. I wanted things to just get back to normal iykwim.

Will be thinking of you this afternoon, let us know how you get on.

Don't worry about being tetchy, I'm sorry that I misunderstood what you were asking, and I didn't want to go wading in with my big feet, assuming that you had lost the baby when you may not have really considered that.

Hi Nervousal, im sure the scan will just be to check on your progress and check that everything is happening normally/naturally, you shouldnt be alarmed. i bled for about 3 weeks so i went back for another scan to check what was happening and found i still hadnt passed the sac. i decided to have a D&C rather than letting it go on and on (emotionally i couldnt move on until it was over). they wouldnt MAKE you have a D&C but if eveything hasnt yet come away they may reccomend one, you dont have to have it, however it is a simple procedure and nothing to be afraid of should you wish to go ahead with one (if you need it of course). I hope your ok and good luck for later x x x

well - if I can get through work til 2 today, I'll be off to hossie for rest of pm. Need to be in work tomorrow as its an official launch of a thing I've been leading for about 2 years. Closing date for house sale tomorrow too - its all happening here!

I need a break.

Hi nervousal,
I went on my own when I had the scan which showed what I was already sure of, that I'd lost my baby. I was tearful, but the lady who scanned me was lovely, and afterwards they let me sit in a room on my own waiting to see the doctor, rather than in the waiting room with everyone else.

Although I'd been quite sure, I was still very upset when it was confirmed to me, I guess I'd had a tiny hope that I wasn't even aware of.

I'd pretty much done it myself, and the hospital policy seemed to be if you're doing it already, better to go with the natural option. I bled really badly for 1 more day, then it tailed off over a week. I had to go back for another scan to check all ok, and if I'd needed a d&c then they could have booked me in the next day.

x

I know that I will be upset to have it confirmed, and that I'd prefer dp to be there - but I guess I'll just have to be a big brave girl. I want to avoid having a D&C if possible - but it would be reassuring to know if most of it has gone (have this total fear of losing it here at work)

Its not easy being a woman is it??

I would have preferred dp there too, but he was looking after dd, and I didn't have anyone else to look after her.
When there was a tiny bit left still a week later, they did suggest a d&c then, but I said i'd prefer to avoid that after all that if possible. They were fine with that, said they'd support my decision, gave me antibiotics and told me to take a pg test in 2 weeks - if it came up negative then I could assume all fine, but if still positive to go back to the GP.

So hopefully your hospital will be supportive of what you want if that's medically ok.

It's a horrible time, will be thinking of you this afternoon, so good luck.

And there's a support thread for those of us who have gone through mc, mc avengers, so feel free to pop in there for great support if you need it.

thanks splishsplosh - not long to go now. I'll probably not be back til tomorrow night to let you know how I got on - not quite so scared now.

how did it go nervousal?

went as well as could be expected. had a scan which showed no sac, very upsetting and wish someone had ben there (should have listened!). Everything normal and nature is taking its course.

well, it is good news that everything is ok (or as ok as it can be under the circumstances) and that nature is doing her job.

Take your time in coming to terms with this, grieve for your baby, give dp/dh lots of hugs too and don't rush into anything if you're not ready. If you are ready, your body should be back to normal fairly quickly and you could start trying very soon.

(and I know it's not the same, but we were all there in spirit )

xx

Glad to hear that at least you should be able to avoid surgery as you didn't want that. It's a horrible thing to go through, take some time to look after yourself, and if you want to try again, there are lots of people who go on to have successful pregnancies after mc. Thinking of you, big hugs x

Glad to hear that at least you should be able to avoid surgery as you didn't want that. It's a horrible thing to go through, take some time to look after yourself, and if you want to try again, there are lots of people who go on to have successful pregnancies after mc. Thinking of you, big hugs x