Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Baby dad problems

6 replies

mum2b97 · 17/09/2022 21:16

Hello, I am 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I am really struggling with my relationship with my boyfriend/baby daddy. Throughout the whole pregnancy he has barely been able to stay off the drink for a week, has walked out on me multiple times to go to the pub or to drink somewhere and has left me in absolute bits. He constantly goes on about not being able to take time off work and needing to save for the baby coming yet he has taken quite a lot of days off due to being hungover/still drinking, last week he was drinking for 2 days with his friends in OUR house while I stayed at my mums. Yesterday he went to the pub and ended up not going to get his son who he was supposed to have this weekend which is a huge red flag for me when I’ve only got 8-10 weeks left before our baby is here. He always blames his behaviour on me because of my mood swings and hormones, I’ll admit I’ve not been the easiest to deal with but he has 2 children already and must know what to expect. He is barely affectionate with me anymore, he has gone off having sex, barely compliments me and generally makes me feel so worthless and horrible. I know it seems like the best thing to do would be to leave him but we live together and the house is mainly in his name, if I moved out I’d have nowhere to go as there is just not room for me and a baby and all of our stuff at my mums. I am down to get my own house but don’t know how long this will take so am basically just putting up with being treated like crap until then. I am so lost and don’t know how much longer I can take this, I expected pregnancy to be magical and for him to be so caring and loving but he couldn’t be further from it :(

OP posts:
Hatscats · 17/09/2022 21:39

Get out while you can! He is not going to be a good father!

Hatscats · 17/09/2022 21:42

You don’t need much space for a baby, one room for you both to share and a draw for their clothes. The other stuff isn’t essential.
Go to your mums before you’re got a baby to look after with a drunk around!

bluejelly · 17/09/2022 21:45

He is not going to be a great dad. Or even a good enough one. Cut your losses and move out. It isn't easy being a single mum to a baby but is a lot easier than being with an unreliable heavy drinking partner.
I have been in both situations and would choose the former rather than the latter any day. Also, maybe your mum could help you with the baby too?

mum2b97 · 17/09/2022 21:52

I am probably making him sound worse than he is, he doesn’t drink every day but seems to feel the need to go out/drink every week, he can’t go get a haircut without stopping by the pub, and this seems to be the best thing ever to him which would be fine but we have a baby on the way and the fact he is not showing up for a child he already has is a massive concern for me. I used to love going out myself but when we found out I was pregnant we agreed things would change and I’ve turned my whole life around while he still goes out and acts like a child. He also doesn’t get to see one of his children due to her moving away and said this fucked him up, however he seems quite happy to ditch his other child to go out and treat me like shit whilst carrying his baby.

OP posts:
vegang · 17/09/2022 22:05

mum2b97 · 17/09/2022 21:52

I am probably making him sound worse than he is, he doesn’t drink every day but seems to feel the need to go out/drink every week, he can’t go get a haircut without stopping by the pub, and this seems to be the best thing ever to him which would be fine but we have a baby on the way and the fact he is not showing up for a child he already has is a massive concern for me. I used to love going out myself but when we found out I was pregnant we agreed things would change and I’ve turned my whole life around while he still goes out and acts like a child. He also doesn’t get to see one of his children due to her moving away and said this fucked him up, however he seems quite happy to ditch his other child to go out and treat me like shit whilst carrying his baby.

You said he makes you feel worthless and horrible, that's no way to be treated. He was too busy drinking to go and see his kid, he's going to be no different with yours.

It'll be so much easier to leave now than when the baby is here, trust me.

georgarina · 18/09/2022 02:35

Oh no :( do you have friends or family you can stay with? He doesn't sound like partner or dad of the year

New posts on this thread. Refresh page