Can you decline a health visitor visit before baby is born? (and just see them after baby is born)

[Kaoru35]

Hi,
I have got my letter to say the health visitor would be coming round next week (I'll be 36 weeks pregnant by then). I was rather hoping they had forgot as they messed up sending out the letters last month, so I didn't know they were coming until an hour before the appointment when I was on my way to work. Can you decline a health visitor appointment before baby is born (and just see them after baby is born) or would that cause any issues?

Thanks

Our two cam both times just to say hello. Thought it was routine.

Health visitors seem to have a bad reputation for giving outdated advice or being overly judgmental. My health visitor was lovely and had just returned from maternity leave herself which I found reassuring, but she was so limited in the advice she could give so it seemed very pointless. Almost every question she just told me to speak to the GP if I was concerned 🤷‍♀️ And she told me that they couldn’t recommend any products but she was allowed to tell me they don’t recommend Johnson & Johnson products. All very odd! Overall I got the impression HVs are there for safeguarding purposes, to check the living situation and keep an eye out for signs of domestic violence.

I will be accepting HV appointments with my next baby though in case I happen to get someone more helpful. I really want to give breastfeeding a proper go this time so I want all the help I can get. And like someone said above, I wouldn't want their funding reduced making them unable to help people in need in the future.

I didn’t have a visit before birth, and had three different ones on each visit after DS was born, so I wouldn’t say it was essential.

Just to add - at my community midwife appointment last week the midwife said HVs are introducing visits before birth as standard in our area. This was something they were trying to set up before covid but now it’s only just being properly rolled out.

No they absolutely do not.

That's not my responsibility, or anyone else's on this thread.

I have never experienced 'hassle' because I didn't see a HV.

I refused my pre birth visit as i didnt see the point. They said no problem, see you when the baby is born

Sorry I only meant it can cause hassle if people are open to children's social care. The health visitor will report non engagement to the children's social worker. It is always discussed at length in meetings and parents are asked to engage with health visitor. I'm not saying I agree, just saying how it tends to go.

I didn't realise 'open to' meant 'involved with' so just ignore my previous.

Ha I saw one health visitor for one check after my first baby was born and never again and no one assigned for my second. Shortage of staff they said. I took my baby to the local baby clinic but there were no checks in me (I even missed my six week post delivery check at the GP as I didn't know anything about it).
I imagine you can refuse to have one at all.

No, this isn't really a thing unless the family are already known to social services/ at risk for some reason.

It's not mandatory OP but it might be helpful.

Ours do it as standard in our area, for
both of my two i declined. It was at a hugely inconvenient time when I was still working, I could have technically had it it off work as a pregnancy related apt- but I didn’t want too. So I said no, it was never questioned

My HV was lovely and supportive.

For most people the visits are pretty routine. But they are also there to pick up health problems with your baby that might have slipped through.

Most babies aren't going to have any. But some do.

8 years ago, my area offered prenatal visits with the HV in clinic nit at home so no checking home circumstances. I postponed mine until after I started mat leave as I expected it to be a bit of a waste of time - it was, they could have just posted me the leaflets - so didn't want to duck out of work for it. I don't think they'd have minded if I declined the invitation and obvs leaving it late meant I might have missed it anyway if DS had been early!

I did see the HVs regularly after DS was born at the weekly weigh clinic/stay and play that they ran in the village hall. They were kind but mostly very much "my way or the highway" people, even though each of their "my ways" was different. I was an older first time mum with lots of information sources I could access, so I mostly took what they said and weighed it with the rest and decided for myself. So I ignored the HV who said to wean early, I nodded and smiled at the one who told me I had to do cry it out or he'd never learn to settle, the one who said a sling would make him clingy. The only time I listened was when I sought advice about speech worries and the HV said I had to stop teaching him signing as it would be delaying speech; I was anxious about his late talking so I listened for a few months, fortunately I did no real damage as DS just made up his own signs and taught me, and then I worked out how to self refer to audiology and SLT [sho were appalled by the HV's advice] and got on with it. But I can see how if you are younger or less assertive or going through a tough time some of the HVs could be overbearing, confusing or downright dangerous.

I ended up having a telephone appointment, basic questions about home life with a lovely lady who was retiring the next day!
Could you request a phone appointment?

I'm on my third baby and was a childminder for years. I don't need a health visitor telling me stuff I already know. So I wrote and declined their services.

They wrote back acknowledging that, and that was it.

Remember one of the things they are looking out for is PND. Nobody can be sure they won't struggle.

They might not be the best, and some better than others, but generally they are OK.

No concern, I just don't see the point before baby is born

I have no problem them coming after he is born. Just don't really see much point before he is born
.

I had this with DC1. Declined on the basis that I was still working until the week of my ELCS so wasn’t just sat around at home at 36 weeks which was accepted without question. She came when baby was about a week old, again to do the 6 week check then we moved abroad. She was really rude and condescending so would have been the absolutely last place I would have sought help should we have needed it. With DC2 maybe lockdown related but I was only offered a phone call at 2 weeks. She was actually really nice but I declined all future involvement as DC was in a medical study that meant they were regularly having in person checks from a paediatrician so there was nothing I needed from the HV.

Of course you can refuse. It's not mandatory. Where I am I wasn't even offered one before birth- but if I had I might have said it was too inconvenient with work because it would have been.

You can refuse visits after birth too. I haven't so far but if everything well with baby and you can feel a bit pointless too.

It isn't unusual. Also I'm a first time mum so they wouldn't be coming for that reason

When did you receive your red book if you didn't see a Health Visitor before birth please?

Thanks to all who replied 🙂
I noticed there is an email address on the letter so I think I will email them and cancel. From the majority of replies it seems like it is ok to cancel and see them after I have given birth.