20 Week Scan - am petrified

[Amberc]

I was really nervous about my 12 week scan but got over myself and all was fine but where I thought the most controversial thing I would find out at the 20 week scan was the sex of the baby I now realise that there are a multitude of things that can be wrong. Am finding it hard to concentrate on my work for worry as I can't feel the baby moving yet (am exactly 20 weeks). Sorry - am a worrier by nature but this is my first and I'm not sure how it's meant to feel. Any advice?

The baby wont start kicking until later, the first movements are so tiny and gentle that they are hard to feel and you may not notice if busy or dismiss it as wind!

Pregnancy is the beginning of worrying though, you then worry about you child forever and that is normal and part of being a mum.

When is your scan?

You are worrying now, you will be worrying after the scan, you will be worrying before birth, you will be worrying after birth and then for the rest of your life!

Thats what motherhood is all about

Its completly normal, and im a born worrier also

Just try and relax and get excited about seeing your little one! Hard I know as the possible negatives will always outweigh the positives but all will be fine

lol see??

I was exactly the same!!!

I was umming and arring about finding out the sex of our child, when it suddenly hit me that anything could be wrong and I got myself so worked up and panicked that when they told me everything was fine I burst into tears!

Trust me on this - everything will be ok! It really is not worth making yourself worried about it and just keep thinking that in x amount of hours you can see it again!!! How exciting!!! And you can be amazed at how it has grown!!! And concentrate on the pro's and con's of finding out the sex!

Cxx

I think sometimes all these tests/scans we have to go thru make more worry than they're worth! The chance of there being anything wrong is very slim, and worry will not help you or the baby. Having said that, i was just the same!

If your placenta is on the front, you will not feel the baby move as much as if you had it on the back. The scan will tell you where the placenta is (it doesn't matter either way). I am a worrier as well, so you have my sympathy

I worried like a demon too. But the sonographer was very nice and peaceful and the scan was long enough for me to stop freaking out completely. And it was in stages, so I was thinking - ok, the brain's alright, so at least it's got a brain - the heart's ok, that's also good... after that I was quite blase about leg length and spine etc! I even enjoyed it a tiny bit.

Try not to worry, I am sure it will all be fine. Its not unusual to not feel kicking yet either - I didnt until about 24 weeks, probably because I had a fairly small baby and placenta at the front....the scan should set your mind at rest - good luck .

hi Amber Have you joined an antenatal group on here yet? They are great for sharing worries with women at the same stage of pregnancy you are, and theres a real mix of first timers and women with 2 3 or even more babies so whatever your worries or questions chances are someone else has thought the exact same thing.

I'm 16 weeks pregnant with number 3 and I still worry like mad. I, too, am worried about the 20 week scan, then when it's OK I'll worry about the baby being premature, then I will worry about the labour, then the newborn and it goes on and on, as someone else said part and parcel of being a Mum, thats the one thing that hit me hard, how much you worry about them.

I didn't feel my first baby move until about 22 weeks either.

Hi Amber, come join us on the due in June thread if you'd like. I've just had my 20 week scan and yes, it is a bit nerve-wracking but the bonus is that if everything is okay (which it should be!) then you wonderful for a few weeks!

Try to think of the positive things about your scan. It will be a wonderful opportunity to see your baby again - your baby might even be sucking it's thumb, or poking it's tongue out!

The vast majority of babies ARE perfectly normal!

Don't expect the worst - if there is a problem - worrying before hand won't change that - try not to expect the worst - it's far more likely everything will be fine.

Will you get a picture from the scan to take home? (most places allow this - although some in the UK charge for the privelige).

Will you ask if it's a boy or girl? (some people like a surprise at the baby's birth - others prefer to know in advance so they can decorate the nursery or choose baby clothes appropriately rather than all white).

Please enjoy your scan it's a milestone in your pregnancy.

PS try this technique - everytime a negative thought about the scan pops up - try to push it to one side and replace it with a postive thought about the scan. This takes practice but is worth doing.

It is possible to train your brain to think more positively and you will have less stress (better for baby and you) and enjoy this special time much more.