Hi Mums,
I have two children aged 3.5 and 5.5 with my ex fiancé. When my youngest was 4 weeks old he left for nearly 3 years. I tried extremely hard and remained hopeful that we would be a family again but I was constantly let down for too long that i accepted things were they way they were and finally let go after the 2 year mark.
About 8 months ago he came back into our lives with the intention that we would pick up where we left off but i have since met someone else and he is still not happy about it but is being there for the kids. We had a rough go for about 6 months but seem to be getting to an okay place. He still tries to tell my boys things to not like my boyfriend but He is also engaged and living with his partner.
A few days ago I found out that I am pregnant and I am very torn with what to do. I always wanted to have a third but when I became a single mum i accepted that it may never happen and became content with my life to the point where I think i could be okay with not having one.
I also got very used to it being just me and my boys that I have some fears around adding another one. I worry that the boys will have a hard time accepting a new addition, that they will feel abandoned, less loved etc. Right now the boys are with me 80 percent of the time and i see that happening for a good while but I worry when my ex finds out that he will try and use it and turn my boys against me so that they will want to be with him more. And lastly part of me is just happy with how my life is right now so the unknown and changes that come along with having a new baby just absolutely terrify me. My partner really would like to have it and go on that journey with me but i just dont know if i can do it.
Thank you for letting me vent and if anyone has any advice i would really appreciate it xx