Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Partners drinking

8 replies

Missxox · 31/08/2022 22:07

Im 17 weeks pregnant and really stressed. My parents drinking is out of control and then his attitude changes. He can become snappy, paranoid, accusing me of saying things I’ve not said, hearing wrong when I’m on the phone, also tried to make out im accusing him of messaging women, do you think I’ve been with someone else etc and generally a nasty person to be around. He drinks every day. He said he was cutting down but it’s not happened. He’s admitted he has a problem but won’t do anything about it. He drinks a 3lite bottle of cider and 2-4 cans of cider aswell. That is during the week. I don’t know how he gets up for work. At the weekend he drinks more.
There’s been a few times now that we’ve argued about his drinking and how it changes him. He always has an excuse. I’ve been at work. It’s the weekend, it’s sunny…..
the other day he went to bed after his drinking with his attitude and without a word. I went up and said how ignorant are you. He then started banging doors . He Went to to toilet while I was on the phone and accused me of saying something I never said. Then More door banging. I went back up stairs to say you better stop n he was laid in bed crying to his music on his phone… we’ve not really spoken since . Just odd words. Tonight he didn’t come straight home . It was nearly 2 hours later after he text and said I’m on my way baring in mind I was cooking tea. I went to the shop and he was sat on a bench with a can of cider. I came back home and he followed 10 mins later. I said I’d seen him and his excuse was he walked home got tired and needed a drink- thirsty he said. Ate his tea went in the shower and went to bed. I asked him to put the bin out and he said tomorrow. I can’t live like this it’s making me on edge and depressed . He knows he has a problem but does nothing , not even cut down. He’s making no effort and has an excuse for everything. I said we’re going to end up splitting up if you carry on Cus im not having a baby around you like you are and in this environment. I’ve told him a few times now and it’s falling on deaf ears. He’s making me despise him. I really didn’t want to split up but this can’t carry on. I can’t live with someone that’s choosing drink over everything. I’m not sure what to do for the best… do I wait and see if he changes his ways or not. I’m really fed up with it all

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 31/08/2022 22:09

What to do for the best? Get as far away from him as possible and make a new, drama free life for you and your soon to be baby.

GrazingSheep · 31/08/2022 22:20

do I wait and see if he changes his ways or not.

He won’t.
The only decision you need to make is when you actually leave him.

palmerita · 01/09/2022 00:11

Please don't bring a baby up in that environment, if you being pregnant hasn't already triggered him to sort himself out then I don't know what will

Aquamarine1029 · 01/09/2022 00:13

He absolutely will not change and you need to get away from him right now. Not next week, now. Don't even think of having a baby around this man.

BabyOnBoard90 · 01/09/2022 01:09

No point asking for relationship advice on this forum as all they'll say is "leave him".

Sounds like he's battling some demons.

Twokidsanddone · 01/09/2022 01:28

Battling demons or not, In a few months you're going to have a little baby to consider and put first. As well as your self. You ask if you should wait and see if he changes but you are sort of on a time limit. Consider if you're comfortable with him being around baby. Holding the baby if he drinks etc. Also consider if a constantly drunk partner during the sleep deprived newborn stage will put you at risk of PPD trying to juggle it all, or if the sleep deprivation and stress will give him more excuses. I'm not necessarily saying leave him but it might be something you have to consider. maybe at the very least some boundaries need put in place before baby is born. Be that AA and/or some form of counselling. But if he refuses those boundaries or won't stick to them you have to make that choice. Not all alcoholics are lost causes that will never change. But you can't just sit around waiting for someone to change either. I had an alcoholic parent who did change. And spent 4 years wondering how long I should wait and see if an alcoholic partner would change, who never ever did.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/09/2022 01:36

It's not your job to help him battle his demons. Your job is to protect yourself and your baby from an alcoholic.

mumof2g1rls · 12/09/2022 01:38

Currently going through this exact same thing right now so I totally sympathise with you. My partners been out since 10am yesterday morning and still drinking now. It's our daughters first birthday on Wednesday and I know he's going to be too hungover to give a crap about it. I'm fed up, I'm trying to leave, I've dealt with too much and now I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm sending you all the love OP, it's not an easy thing to decide for, not an easy thing to put into action either. It's hard being with someone like this. I hope you're okay xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page