Anxiety post-16 weeks

[QueenOfWeeds]

I’m not sure I’m brave enough for the February due date thread yet, so hopefully this is ok here.

I’m struggling a bit with changing symptoms in the second trimester. I’m still feeling nauseous (but not permanently) and can’t yet feel the baby moving around. I have a slight tummy, but to be honest I had one before, so I haven’t even got a nice reassuring bump. I mentioned that I was feeling anxious to the midwife at my 16 week appointment, and she was nice enough but couldn’t really do anything to help.

We could pay for a private scan, but I’m trying to avoid that because I feel like it’s just going to open a can of worms where I run for a scan every time I panic.

I’m so desperate for my 20 week scan and to know that everything is ok. How does everyone else get through this waiting period?

I remember feeling exactly the same way. You get lulled into a false sense of security when you have your 12 weeks scan thinking it's all go from there, then you just have nothing. Not a single thing. Your symptoms stop, you don't look pregnant, you don't "feel" pregnant, you have no idea what is going on in there.

I don't really have any good advise, as like you I chose to avoid paying for private scans because I think they breed into the fear, I just wanted you to know you're not alone and it does pass quicker than it feels. My weeks are flying by now and I'm freaking out about how little time I have left.

I took most comfort from the fact I had no abdominal pain and no bleeding so it was likely everything was going as it should. If you really are struggling with the anxiety though, maybe a private scan would be a good option just to put your mind at rest.

Hi @QueenOfWeeds I'm with you! I'm so anxious this pregnancy after a couple of losses. I'm 17+6 today and had a scan at 16 weeks privately so check everything is ok. All was looking good, I've just caved and booked another scan for tonight cos I can't stop worrying. Probably not the best thing to do as got 20 week scan in 2 weeks but hopefully it will stop me worrying for a few days!

Not had my 16 week midwife appt yet either as it's not until this Friday, not sure why she booked it for 18 weeks!

Not got anything to suggest but hang on in there, I'm sure there's a few of us on here in the same boat x

Thanks both. It’s so difficult!

I made the mistake of trying to google to reassure myself and have obviously ended up in tears at all the stories of things going wrong. I’m back at work after annual leave tomorrow and, for various reasons, have to tell my team (my manager knows already). I think maybe that’s making it worse? I wanted to keep everything fairly low key until 20 weeks but feel like that won’t happen once work are in the loop.

It’s really hard but try just remember that the chances are everything is fine and take a day at a time. Think today I am pregnant and all is ok.

I’ve had a loss at 14 weeks and one 15 it was painful. Bleeding and cramps (I now realise contractions) and then when it started I had full on painful contractions. Not saying this to scare you but it’s likely if you’re not really any pain all is good. I also had 3 pregnancies that were successful which all had bleeding in throughout which was scary but I kept myself sane by reminding her myself lack of pain most likely meant all was good (just to say I was seen by maternity for every bleed but sometimes I’d have to wait hours or days so needed to stay calm and sane)

@QueenOfWeeds know what you mean, people are excited and want to talk about it once they know. I told my office at 14 weeks as I was starting to show and I would rather that than people start guessing. It was fine, I actually sent a text on the group chat as didn't think I'd get the words out 🙈 they were asking questions for a few days but not so much now so not too bad! Hope all goes well tomorrow x

I just kept reminding myself no amount of worrying or scans will change the outcome. Chances are things will be fine.

OP. This is EXACTLY how im feeling... Im sorry youre going through this too.. Hand hold as its so difficult at times... I really want to do private scan since ive found out that my midwife wont use the doppler to hear the heartbeat at 16 week appointment (tomorrow) but then dont because it will jus start feeding the anxiety more and more...

Something that im trying to do but it can be difficult to do some days is to take each day as i am pregnant as i won't know otherwise. My reasoning is that if i get to the end of pregnancy and not tried to enjoy it i will absolutely regret it as we won't be planning any more after this so this could be my last time experiencing pregnancy.

Hope this helps and wishing you a healthy pregnancy 💕

Thanks everyone, and sorry for those of you who have had losses.

It’s nice to know it isn’t just me… roll on 20 week scans for all of us!

I'm the same at 17weeks. I've actually booked a private scan this week for reassurance because i can't wait until 20 weeks. This is the third private scan I've had so it's becoming expensive!
I don't feel like I've got a proper bump yet or even look pregnant, just a bit podgy! My boobs haven't gotten bigger either. Can't feel the baby move yet but I keep telling myself it's too early. I have the occasional nausea still and no pain/bleeding so that's a positive.
I feel so excited but also so nervous about the 20 week scan as we are waiting to tell our friends and extended family then.

Ladies, I felt the exact same after my sickness eased around 11 weeks. It's horrific waiting to feel something to actually feel pregnant again!

For me, and this isn't for everyone, I rented a doppler so I could at least be reassured that his heart was beating away until I was far enough into the pregnancy to feel him. For me it eased my anxiety massively but I know you'll get people saying a heartbeat doesn't mean that everything is okay and you should focus on movements. It does however ensure me that my baby is alive until I can feel movements which eases a portion of the stress.