Feeling Ugly | Mumsnet

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Original poster

jemart70 · 28/08/2022 23:46

jemart70 · 28/08/2022 23:28

Hi! So I've never done this but I feel like I can't talk to anyone nearby so here I am. I currently am 12 weeks pregnant, and I feel so ugly. I don't know exactly why, I just know for the past 3 weeks I've felt extremely ugly. I haven't noticed physical changes in me yet so it's not that, I think it's knowing my body is going to change. I don't know. Some days I tell myself mentally I'm going to do makeup, I'm going to get cleaned up and dress good, etc. But, I look at myself I look at my things and I just lay in bed. Does anyone feel like this or have felt like this and have any tips on feeling better? 

Also for context I am 21, will be 22 in November, and this is my first pregnancy ever

OP posts:

Krakinou · 29/08/2022 00:05

If you’re finding it hard to get out of bed, it sounds like you’re a bit down. The first trimester was really exhausting for me. Are you finding that? Hard to feel happy and confident when you’re tired all the time.

I wonder if you’re a bit worried about the pregnancy too?

Original poster

jemart70 · 29/08/2022 00:08

Krakinou · 29/08/2022 00:05

If you’re finding it hard to get out of bed, it sounds like you’re a bit down. The first trimester was really exhausting for me. Are you finding that? Hard to feel happy and confident when you’re tired all the time.

I wonder if you’re a bit worried about the pregnancy too?

I honestly don't really feel tired, just un-energetic for everything. And there are moments where I do get worried :/

OP posts:

Krakinou · 29/08/2022 06:37

I think it’s really normal to feel worried. And also to have weird emotional reactions you can’t really explain. Every now and then I get this sense of terror, completely randomly. Like I’m just making dinner and suddenly I have the same feeling as before I walk into a university exam or something.

How unmotivated are you? Are you getting up and showering, brushing your teeth, eating etc? And able to go to work?

What kind of activity does get you up and out of bed at the moment?

Original poster

jemart70 · 29/08/2022 06:45

Krakinou · 29/08/2022 06:37

I think it’s really normal to feel worried. And also to have weird emotional reactions you can’t really explain. Every now and then I get this sense of terror, completely randomly. Like I’m just making dinner and suddenly I have the same feeling as before I walk into a university exam or something.

How unmotivated are you? Are you getting up and showering, brushing your teeth, eating etc? And able to go to work?

What kind of activity does get you up and out of bed at the moment?

Sorry if the "quoting" is bothersome it's my first time on here I haven't fully understood how to reply without the "quoting" option.

but uh some days i brush my teeth maybe once a day, and showering currently feels like a chore so i don't shower as regularly as i used to, it's become every other day, of course except when i go #2 then i do shower that same day.

im an online college student and live with my parents so the activities that get me up and about is whenever i go grocery shopping with my mom or somewhere to eat/watch a movie with my parents. We're a military family and the state we're in i currently don't have friends, so i'm usually just at home if not out with my parents

(my partner is long distance he is also in the military)

OP posts:

Krakinou · 29/08/2022 18:24

That sounds pretty lonely. I’m not surprised you’re not feeling motivated. Sometimes I get into a similar rut of staying in bed and then I feel rubbish about myself and don’t want to get up even more.

Can you plan one regular daily activity that will get you out of the house, like going to buy a newspaper or bread or something? Maybe you can speak to your parents about how you’re feeling and ask to tag along with them on errands. Or can you volunteer somewhere? It’s often easier to motivate yourself to help someone else than yourself.

When I was your age I broke up with my first love and moved back home with my parents for a while. I didn’t know anyone locally as they’d moved to the countryside and I was heartbroken and just moping and crying all the time. My mum made me go with her to pick my little sister up from school and she told the teacher: “Krakinou will be coming in every day for the next few weeks to help in the classroom. Use her for anything you need”. I was not expecting that! But I ended up going in and helping the kids with reading or whatever and it was really nice. It snapped me out of the rut I was in enough to make plans and move on.

Showering and brushing your teeth - you’ve gotta force yourself to do this at least once a day. You don’t have to do make up or wash your hair or anything, but it’ll wake you up and make you feel better about things. And it’s really really important now you’re pregnant. You’re at more risk of getting a UTI during pregnancy so gotta keep clean. And your gums will start to swell as your blood volume increases, and you’ll be more prone to tooth infection so you need to keep your teeth cleaner than usual too.

Maybe you can start by just committing to 1. Shower, 2. Brush teeth, 3. Walk to the shop, each day. If you don’t do anything else it doesn’t matter. Consider it a success if you do those three.

I think you really should ask for help from your parents though. Sometimes you need a loved one to nag you into the basics till you get back on track.

Original poster

jemart70 · 29/08/2022 18:45

Krakinou · 29/08/2022 18:24

That sounds pretty lonely. I’m not surprised you’re not feeling motivated. Sometimes I get into a similar rut of staying in bed and then I feel rubbish about myself and don’t want to get up even more.

Can you plan one regular daily activity that will get you out of the house, like going to buy a newspaper or bread or something? Maybe you can speak to your parents about how you’re feeling and ask to tag along with them on errands. Or can you volunteer somewhere? It’s often easier to motivate yourself to help someone else than yourself.

When I was your age I broke up with my first love and moved back home with my parents for a while. I didn’t know anyone locally as they’d moved to the countryside and I was heartbroken and just moping and crying all the time. My mum made me go with her to pick my little sister up from school and she told the teacher: “Krakinou will be coming in every day for the next few weeks to help in the classroom. Use her for anything you need”. I was not expecting that! But I ended up going in and helping the kids with reading or whatever and it was really nice. It snapped me out of the rut I was in enough to make plans and move on.

Showering and brushing your teeth - you’ve gotta force yourself to do this at least once a day. You don’t have to do make up or wash your hair or anything, but it’ll wake you up and make you feel better about things. And it’s really really important now you’re pregnant. You’re at more risk of getting a UTI during pregnancy so gotta keep clean. And your gums will start to swell as your blood volume increases, and you’ll be more prone to tooth infection so you need to keep your teeth cleaner than usual too.

Maybe you can start by just committing to 1. Shower, 2. Brush teeth, 3. Walk to the shop, each day. If you don’t do anything else it doesn’t matter. Consider it a success if you do those three.

I think you really should ask for help from your parents though. Sometimes you need a loved one to nag you into the basics till you get back on track.

i actually chose to speak to my mom about it yesterday! and she gave similar advice as you, so i decided to try and make a schedule / to do list as a way to get at least back on track like i used to be prior to becoming pregnant. and we agreed id join her more on running errands that way at least im not constantly in the house. & that's so beautiful and kind of your mom, im glad she was able to get you out of that rut. mom's really are the best. and thank you so much, for replying you genuinely helped me

OP posts:

Krakinou · 30/08/2022 07:39

I’m glad your mum is helping you out. They really are the best! And one day soon you will be the rock for your baby too. Good luck with your pregnancy xx