what is the best thing to do for my baby?

[fabulousmama]

hey guys
my daughter is only 4 weeks and since birth i’ve been breastfeeding only. while i was pregnant i was adamant that i’ll only be breastfeeding all the way through but it’s really hard. at first it was going really well and then my in laws got me paranoid that she wasn’t gaining weight and wanted to me to give her a bottle. i refused and refused until now . i have caught the worst flu/virus and struggled so much last night that i don’t even know how many times i fed my baby. i have been going through baby blues and the mum guilt is so bad!

the midwife’s said to breastfeed until 6 weeks and then you can start bottle feeding. another 2 weeks seems like a very long time so i want to combi feed right now- at first i wanted to pump instead of formula but pumping really hurts me as my body is very sensitive after labour or maybe because i’m ill? plus i pumped this morning and it took me 45 minutes to get one ounce out which was very hard.

i wanted to ask if it’s okay to give a bottle now at 4 weeks? and that being formula instead of my own milk. i want to breastfeed during the day and on a night give at least one bottle of formula and the other feed to breastfeed. i just need some sort of break because as a FTM i don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong even though i have a house full of people telling me.

a nurse did say you can give it from 2 weeks or if your struggling and not sleeping then give it when you want to. i want to still breastfeed during the day and bottle feed at night as mentioned before. does it make a difference if i give formula at 4 weeks rather than pump my own milk which will be so time consuming and very isolating as exclusively breastfeeding has been.

which formula is best?

I ended up exclusively pumping from about when my LO was a week old until he was 2 months. I didn’t produce enough so supplemented with aptamil (used the ready made stuff for convenience). I did this because I found breastfeeding really painful and got an awful stomach bug. I was very lucky and at 2 months went back to breastfeeding with 0 pain. Always kept up with 1 bottle of formula a day though so I could let DH do the feed and get some rest. Do whatever feels right for you!

I will say that exclusively pumping was a pain though as it took so much time, like having 2 babies.

First of all, if you want to give a bottle then do it! You don't need permission. I know lots of people who've combi fed from birth and it's worked out fine. Formula is fine too-again, do what works best for you.

Secondly - is there actually an issue with weight? Is she following her line on the chart? Have any medical people suggested top ups? The only reliable way to know if breastfeeding is going well is weight gain and good nappy output. It's not really up to you ILs to decide she needs a bottle (unless they are encouraging you to follow actual medical advice you've been given!).

Thirdly, I've breastfed 3 babies and it does get easier. You're in the hardest bit but it really improves! That being said, combi feeding and formula feeding are also perfectly fine. You don't need to feel guilty about anything. I highly recommend browsing the kellymom website for useful info on breastfeeding. It also sounds like you've been having a pretty rough time - make sure you're eating and drinking plenty and rest when you can. Take care of yourself!

I did a mixture from the first week as I wasn't producing enough milk and never had a problem. I did it in the midwife's advice. Baby managed fine with both bottle and boob and there was no confusion. I then fully breastfed but have gone back to a bedtime formula bottle just because I've found he sleeps better with the one bottle. I use aptimal as I had to make a fast decision in hospital and hadn't researched. Seems to do the job and is a little more affordable than some. My advice would be do what you need to just now and it doesn't have to stay exactly like that if you want to change things further along. Hope you feel better soon!

Your body, Your baby, Your choice.
Honestly, the first 6 weeks are HARD, we all look back with rose tinted glassss.

I've bf 2 babies past 1 year each and pregnant with number 3. I've always thought that giving formula at night would be more of a faff, having to make the bottle etc and also if partner is working, it's not fair to ask them to do it so if your awake, you way as well bf. As I said, that's my opinion though, no judgement here, sleep deprivation socks! x

If course it’s ok. Some people can’t bf at all.

There’s nothing wrong with formula at all. Give it. It sounds like you need a break. If you do though, just keep in mind your supply will drop as you aren’t feeding from the boob as much. You might not mind if it does, but if you want to keep the supply up you might want to consider expressing

No formula is “better” than another. They all need to meet the same nutritional standards (very heavily regulated) so one won’t be healthier than the other. Some babies don’t agree with certain formulas. Eg I was told Hipp Organic was “the best” (I think because the word organic is in it!) but my baby got terrible wind and tummy aches.

It's fine to combo feed but 1. Don't be pushed into it by family members if you don't want to and 2. It's better not to have to make bottles up at night so if I were going to combi then I would give formula in the evening and BF at night!

I combi fed my first and EBF my second. EBF was much easier.

If combi feeding, don't do it at night. Don't add the stress of making a bottle when half asleep if you don't have to.

But to the point in hand. Baby is obviously doing well on breastmilk so ignore your family.

When you're poorly and breastfeeding it's hard. Good news is that if baby catches it, they are also being given your immune response as well.

If you can, have dad care for baby between feeds so you can rest and get better.

If you want to introduce a bottle go for it.

You can buy ready made formula for the night time to give yourself a break. I would I do it sooner rather than later, for example some babies can refuse bottle/ nipple if they are used to one for too long.

I had to give my first born top ups from day 10 due to weight loss. I was exhausted & emotionally drained from trying to BF & express constantly so we bought ready made Cow & Gate bottles & fed it straight from bottle with no heating up etc. Worked a dream. My husband gave one of these most nights, sometimes two so I could sleep/go out etc. So I did a mixture of BF, expressed & ready made formula. My supply was not affected. If anything, I got engorged at missing a feed & just expressed it or fed at earliest opportunity. It made my life easier & I was happier.

I did exact same with my second child & gave bottle at 10 days old also.

This worked for us & I think you do what works for you as no one should make you feel guilty, pressured or scared into the way to feed.

Hope you feel better soon

Have you been checked for mastitis? If you’re feeling flu-ey, are your boobs sorer than usual or do you have a red patch? Insufficient milk draining can cause this and a baby is nearly always better than a pump for draining the breast… so although you normally want more rest when Unwell, if it’s mastitis then the worst thing to do is to introduce a bottle.
please get some breastfeeding support advice and some medical attention too.

Go and make a bottle of formula, feed your baby, put her in her cot and put your feet up. Listen to some music, watch a film, be kind to yourself. Your cold will feel better in a few days.

Of course you can. You need nobody’s permission.

The first 6 weeks of breastfeeding is essentially “putting your order in”. The problem with bottles and formula in the early weeks is that it actively sabotages your chances of breastfeeding, because your body will not be producing the correct amounts for your baby.

Breastfeeding is so hard for the first 10-12 weeks, and then it gets better. It really does! The best thing for your baby when you’re sick is to keep breastfeeding. They will get antibodies to whatever illness you have, through your milk.

Don’t let other people encourage you to start using formula/bottles unless it’s what you really want to do. It’s much better for your baby to breastfeed if you can, and once you AND your baby learn to breastfeed, it’s so much more convenient (and cheaper!) and healthier for your baby…

good luck

My second baby is less than 2
Weeks old and has a mixture of expressed milk and formula as my nipples are blistered and painful. It's perfectly fine... you don't have to wait for a certain age to give a bottle. If you are wanting to mainly breast feed in the future though, make sure you are getting at least a couple of breast feeds and pumping sessions in a day. But if it's painful you need to work through that. I've heard the breastfeeding help line is good.