What should I be eating in pregnancy?

[Frida9]

Hi, I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and my husband has become obsessed with my diet. It's driving me insane and I want to know what I am ok eating and how much.
Recently I've been having fruit with breakfast but my husband says I shouldn't count this towards my 5 a day because it's full of sugar! He keeps on that I need only protein, veg and a small amount of carbs.
I am going insane and it's at the stage where I'm eating a biscuit or crisps in secret so as not to be told off! I can't cope with another 5 months of being told I'm a bad mother for wanting potatoes with my dinner rather than spinach.
Tonight we were out for dinner and I left a bit of the meat on my plate because it was very fatty and that triggered another rant about how selfish I am and how I'm damaging the baby

Well I’m 25 weeks pregnant and for the first 12 weeks I could only eat ready salted crisps. And now I can, I do eat everything!! If my DP told me what I could and couldn’t eat he’d be sleeping on the sofa!!
This is baby number 3 for me too and my other two children are perfectly healthy and they were ‘grown’ in the same way!

Well I've eaten crisps every day for 17 weeks because it's all I could eat with my nausea. Fruit has vitamins and fibre and natural sugars. Does your DH have any qualifications on this topic? Unless he is a midwife, dietician or doctor I would tell him to shut up or leave!

As long as you're not having pints of smoothies in the morning then just ignore the husband.

Choosing the right type of carbs is the main thing. These are your body's main source of energy. Lean protein options or plenty of beans and pulses if veggie or vegan.

Plenty of fruit and veg as normal.

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/have-a-healthy-diet/

If you have sickness sometimes you just have to eat anything you can keep down and that's ok too.

And having chocolate/cake or whatever you fancy is also ok!

No alcohol but plenty of non alcoholic versions available.

Limit the caffeine and remember it is in some foods as well.

A good pregnancy supplement with folic acid, vitamin c and d.

Foods to avoid in pregnancy: www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/foods-to-avoid/

Was he this controlling before you were present? Behaviour like this can get worse during pregnancy / after child birth unfortunately.

Is he worried you’ll get fat?

It seems very odd and extreme.

That's way over the top and I'd be telling him to pack it in or pack his bags.

That's really worrying behavior from him. Is he controlling in other ways? Please be aware that abuse can start during pregnancy when they think you're trapped.

No not worried about my weight, I've always been a small eater and he's worried that I'm not eating enough for me and baby. The midwife hasn't checked my weight since I had my booking appointment and I don't have scales to weigh myself but I have the start of a bump now so baby seems to be growing. Personally I'm of the opinion that as long as I'm eating something and there are fruits and vegetables in my diet I'm fine, I get that he's looking out for our baby but it's at my expense

You know him. Have you any concerns about his behaviour? For me, this is a huge red flag. Abuse can escalate or start during pregnancy. This is well known and thankfully now being factored in in prenatal care in that your midwife should ask you about any concerns you have about domestic abuse.

Fruit with breakfast is healthy. You need vitamins and fruit has lots. Variation is important. And it's not so much for the baby, it's for you. You need carbs, you need energy.

Has your partner got form for issues with food? He seems misguided at best, if not extremely anxious or (at worst) controlling and abusive.

I hope you don't need it but 0808 2000 247 is the national domestic abuse helpline. If you need privacy from him you can ask in a pharmacy to use their "safe space" which is a scheme specifically for abuse. Or speak to your midwife.

I'm pregnant with number 2 and had quite bad nausea for the first 12 weeks. A lot of toasted cheese sandwiches, crisps, baked beans and sweets were consumed.
Now I'm back to what I'd normally eat but I'm certainly not putting in as much effort to count the fruit, veg, amount of fish etc. I'm eating like I did with my first. I take food when I can get it these days 😅

This is a big red flag, OP. He is being very controlling. You are your own person, not a vessel to incubate his child.

Please confide in someone in real life.

Wow. I'd be telling my DH where to shove his opinions if he spoke to me like that. You should be very concerned about his behaviour.

I usually eat low carb but pregnancy is a free for all due to bad sickness. My DD was grown on crisps, sandwiches, jacket potatoes and sugar. I thought she might come out addicted to strawberry laces but at 4.5yo, she seems pretty normal.

Tell him his pressuring and repeated mentions of your diet have made you feel so anxious and sick that you can no longer eat!!! What a prat! Take your vitamins and eat whatever you want. Have your biscuits, honestly what a joke, my pregnancy hormones would have killed DH by now if I were you

Definitely not normal

Tell him he's being overly controlling and doesn't know what he's talking about.

Ultimately you are an adult and you are responsible for yourself whether or not you're pregnant so tell him to f off.

I mostly lived on strawberry lemonade from McDonald's and sandwiches. I think as long as you avoid the obvious 'danger' foods and alcohol then you are fine.

I'd be more annoyed at my husband treating me like a child while I was growing a human and was a grown adult myself.

Can you have a chat with your midwife about this and ask them to speak to him? And confide in someone you trust? It’s worrying behaviour and needs to be nipped in the bud before the baby is born and he starts shouting at you for feeding the baby certain things or fling something he decides is wrong.

Also, saying you need ‘only’ protein, veg and a small amount of carbs sounds like he’s restricting your food intake? You need to eat what you’re craving (within reason) even if that includes biscuits and crisps!

Shouting at you and saying you’re damaging your baby is abusive btw. He should never be doing that. EVER.

He needs to stop, he's gonna cause you more stress than needed over this and that's what will not be good for the baby.

He needs help

He needs to back off, that's not okay at all.

Eat what you want and ignore him every single time.

Unfortunately he may be starting to show his true colours....

God he sounds awful, I don't know how you can cope with someone like that, I know I couldn't. I'm on baby no 4 and I've had varied diets with all my previous pregnancies depending on what I feel like. Boy pregnancies tend to have me reaching for the carbs big time. Currently obsessed with bagels with melted cheese. Oh and the daily ice cream over the summer. I don't understand this obsession with avoiding fruit either, full of vitamins and fibre. I'm sure your diet is already more healthy than many other pregnant ladies! As long as you're taking your pregnancy vitamins you should be getting the right minerals. Just avoid the danger foods and eat what you fancy. Yes it would be bad if you were literally piling on the sugar and weight but it doesn't sound like it. Your DH does sound extremely controlling.

He needs to stop, it's worrying behaviour.

Crikey for the first 16 weeks with both of mine I had a “beige diet” which consisted of biscuits, crisps & toast haha hasnt improved much to be honest. Im 24 weeks now, got a toddler & working so im exhausted & somedays can’t be bothered to cook much. I do try my best though.
is this your first? He’s probs just trying to be a good dad! I admit it would drive me crazy, but it could be from a good place & getting a bit too carried away with what’s best for you & baby.

He sounds awful, I could never imagine my husband saying such things, or ranting. I think you should discuss with someone how he speaks to you on a regular basis and how he makes you feel - does not sound nice or healthy, very concerning. xx

It does sound concerning, are there any other red flags you can think of?

Take him to your next midwife appt and specifically ask about diet and eating carbs etc? He will probably respect what the midwife will say and then you can also say well she is a trained professional and that is what she advised. When I was last pg I said to the mw I was worried I was eating too many carbs and I can't remember exactly what she said but it was along the lines of being building blocks for the baby etc and totally put me at ease about it. I think if he hears it from a professional it may help?

It’s still your body and you still get to decide what food to put in it.

What dietary measures did he take to improve his sperm quality before conception?