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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Elective C-section vs vaginal birth

19 replies

gonewithtthewind · 26/08/2022 11:46

I'm currently nearly 16 weeks so do have time to think about this.

Ideally I would like a somewhat natural birth but I'm really really struggling with last sexual trauma, I have nightmares about it which I haven't had in years.

I'm not sure I'd be able to cope with a natural birth, with that many people around me. I've been thinking about an elective C-section but I'm really not sure, it's major surgery and obviously not something I really want but for me it seems less traumatic, and I know that may sound silly. Am I able to request a C-section if that's what I choose?

Nobody but my partner really knows about my trauma; the midwives are already aware but I haven't heard from them since 6 weeks. I was put under the mental health team; but again I've not heard anything or spoke to anyone. I feel trapped, there are reasons why I can't say anything and I feel like that makes things harder.

OP posts:

palmerita · 26/08/2022 11:53

Hi, I've no personal experience with what you've been through. But just to say, childbirth doesn't have to be traumatic, surrounded by lots of people. From my own childbirth experience, it was myself, my partner and my midwife. I had only one examination before birth and I birthed my baby into the water with no touching needed, it was a very hands off experience however if I knew I needed it, I would have had extra help.
Look into a hypnobirthing course online, I can recommend the positive birth company one, it can teach you a lot about the science of labour and birth, and the choices you have with your own body, as well as breathing techniques which I found really helped me xx

venicebeachbaby · 26/08/2022 11:57

Hi OP,
I had a similar decision to make. I was sexually abused as a child and was not sure what to do as felt I wanted a natural birth but was concerned about PTSD and my ability to cope. I did hypnobirthing, had specific counselling related to birth and decided on a natural birth. I did everything I could to prepare myself.
Then, I ended up needing to be induced. They put the pessary in and hours later I realised quite quickly that I was not going to cope with it- everything 'down there' felt heavy and wierd and was very triggering, this was before labour had even started so I knew it might get worse. I made the decision to take the pessary out and opt for a c section. I am SO glad I did! The c section was calm, everyone was lovely. It wasn't painful and if you keep on top of pain relief, the recovery is doable. I ended up having a 12lb (!) baby so I am so glad I had a c section, The surgeon said I would probably have had issues like tearing if I had gone the natural route.
Ultimately you need to make a decision for you- c section is not the easy route by any means but when you have specific trauma it can make it a better option.

DappledOliveGroves · 26/08/2022 12:01

I requested a C-section as a result of trauma from the birth of DD1. My midwives were perfectly happy with the request, the consultant was fine; at no point did I have to argue my case of cite NICE guidelines or anything.

I got my section date about a week before and the whole experience was wonderful. Calm, we had our chosen music in theatre, the team was lovely, no pain and the recovery was much easier for me than it had been with the vaginal birth. I know some people do struggle though but I was very lucky - I did a seven mile walk when DD2 was 9 days' old with no problems at all. The scar has healed fine and I'm so glad that I went down the elective section route.

BeanieTeen · 26/08/2022 12:08

Its not silly at all. What I would be wary of is that, with a C-section the room is a lot more busy than if you had a vaginal birth. It’s not something I experienced but it was something they explained to us at an anti-natal class - natural birth would be as little as one midwife and your birth partner, C section your looking at 10 people in the room, possibly more - it’s very busy! So if feeling somewhat exposed and having a lot of people around you is part of the issue I’m not sure it will make you less anxious.

catlady1234 · 26/08/2022 12:14

I'm sorry you had that experience.

I had an elective C-section and it was a calm and enjoyable experience.

Just to let you know, there are a lot of people in the theatre when you have the baby (maybe 8+) and you are naked from your bump down. Your boobs and up are covered by a gown.

Hopefully the midwife's can support you and find a solution that is comfortable for you

crabcakesalad · 26/08/2022 12:16

I think you can choose either.

I would say I've had 3 home births and no vaginal examinations at all (except one after my first birth - I decline all others after this and had none in labour at all). I could control my environment and could make my own choices.

I had only dh and a mw there. The second mw stayed in the kitchen.

For my 4th I might need a section and I'm far more worried about that. Feeling a loss of control, being naked from the waist down, loads of people and not being able to feel what they are doing really freaks me out! But it's very individual and others would prefer c section to vaginal birth.

How would you feel more in control? Who is your support?

Lovemouse · 26/08/2022 12:37

Firstly, get in contact with your local midwife team, there’s no rules that you need to wait for contact from there. They are there for you through your entire pregnancy, so use them!

with a vaginal birth it’s likely you’ll have 1 or 2 midwives with you. In a section you’ll likely have many more people in the room, usually 2 doctors, 2-3 midwives and possibly a theatre tech. It can be many more than a vaginal birth and you’ll obviously not see anything from the chest down. I had an emergency section, not something personally I would choose with a second birth.

Oldcottoneye · 26/08/2022 12:38

I would 100% recommend a c-section.

scramblesontoast · 26/08/2022 12:46

Hi OP. Congrats on your pregnancy! I too am almost 16 weeks, but with my second baby. I also have a history of sexual trauma, however I didn't anticipate quite how much this would affect me when it came to late pregnancy/birth. I'll spare the nasty details, but I had a vaginal birth the first time and I found the whole ordeal horrendous, and I hugely struggled for the first few months after delivery.

This time around I will be having a planned section, and I cannot explain to you how much calmer that makes me feel. You (and anybody else for that matter) are well within your rights to have a section if that's what you want. I wish you all the best going forward!

Skylark1990 · 26/08/2022 13:40

Hi OP, sorry to hear of what you've been through 😔❤️

I do not have personal experience of this however I wanted to say that it is entirely possible to have a hands off, minimal / no people around birth naturally. You can decline vaginal examinations, it's possible to "measure" progress other ways and in fact VEs aren't very reliable anyway. And you could opt for a home birth or birth centre birth. In this situation you can control your environment more. You can even ask that the midwives leave you alone for the duration of labour and just come through for pushing stage. In fact you could even go the free birth route and have no medical professionals there! Ofc this may come with risks and not appeal. But a home birth/ birth centre birth are very safe even for first time mums especially in absence of risk factors. And you could make it very clear on your birth plan / ensure your DP knows your preferences so you don't need to keep telling people.

I also recommend a hypnobirthing course - positive birth company is very good and affordable.

If you did plan a home birth and then something went wrong or you needed to transfer in or be induced or something you could make a plan b for a c section, so you have that option if you did end up needing to be in hospital perhaps.... Just ideas. Best of luck. Hope the birth of your baby is a wonderful, perhaps even healing experience for you x

Allgoodthings1 · 26/08/2022 20:37

Different reasons to you but I requested a c-section, had one and it was such a great experience! The only time anyone had to go ‘down there’ at all was to insert the catheter and take it back out again later on. Everything else was just my bikini line. I really dreaded them checking if I was already dilated or anything and remember asking on here if they would do that but they didn’t.

It was just such a calm and ‘easy’ experience and I would 100% do it again!

Salmadk · 26/08/2022 21:13

Hello!
I’m 25 weeks pregnant and I’m looking into consultants cause I’m not on NHS so I have to go private anyway.
I want a vaginal delivery if that would be possible by the time I give birth.
do you recommend Guy Thorpe-beeston? What do you know about him? Does he push for c-sections?
appreciate a response :)

drkpl · 26/08/2022 21:22

I had an emergency c-section. The surgery was quick and I also recovered quickly. I struggled a lot with the ‘inspecting’ and being touched when I was in labor. It’s part of the reason I’m considering a planned c-section next time. I can imagine a planned c-section is a lot less traumatic.

Annfredandcharles · 31/10/2022 08:16

Hey op ! I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. I gave birth ten weeks ago and had the most beautiful time. I was in labour around ten hours which was fine but opted to have a section for the delivery due to position and a high likelihood of tearing, the consultant said it’s your body you can chose
best decision I ever made. I had a wonderful time and recovery was grand! Just keep on top of pain relief. I also heard a lot about this ‘shelf’ left after a section but that’s not been the case for me (although fairly slim to start)
really wish you the best and can imagine a lot of examining and touching would be triggering, I do feel with natural birth, women are often put through trauma and expected to be fine with it- even in 2022
would gladly have another section and would recommend to anyone who is unsure about what route to go down. Not only for you but also the baby as birth trauma can affect baby in many ways as well ❤️ Good luck

Leelee33x · 31/10/2022 10:22

Hey! I had an elective C-section with my first a week ago due to high anxiety about natural birth and I’d honestly do it again. The worst part was probably the waiting around! But once they started operating, within about 10 mins I heard the cry. It was amazing, but the healing part is tough. I’m finding it very hard not to be able to drive :(

CristinaNov182 · 31/10/2022 17:52

Just keep in mind, while giving birth vaginally can only involve your midwife and partner, this is not guaranteed.

I ended up with forceps delivery, and while it was done by a woman, there were men in the room, including one who set some sticky things on me (some kind of monitoring system, don’t know how they are called) and I caught him twice checking my breasts that were exposed under the gown. That was with women and my DH around.

this might happen for a c-section too, if this monitoring system is needed, I don’t know. I was prepared for a emcs too, if the forceps failed in 2 tries, maybe that was the reason for the sticky things.

but if you talk to your team in advance and everyone is aware, maybe they can arrange for a female only care, if possible?

At a minimum, everything should be run by you first.

I was told the role of the people there and what they were going to do, but if you are not allowed to have anything under the gown, you can’t guarantee decent men will be around or even if they are, that women should be comfortable with them there.

you need to discuss this carefully with them, they need to explain everything that can happen and how they will deal with it.

Mrmoody · 31/10/2022 18:10

I havent had a trauma but I found induction etc to be a lot and I still struggle now, I ended up having an EMCS and want an elective this time. So if you think you might struggle I would definitely chose the CS

FrogsHiccups · 31/10/2022 18:33

Hi OP.
I’m so sorry for what you have been through. I have no experience of that, but I have had a vaginal birth and an elective c-section so I can offer some insight in to each.

The vaginal birth was in a midwife led unit with myself, husband and midwife in the room. I was internally examined once when I arrived and again during labour. I birthed in a pool, whilst holding my husbands hands and scooped my baby out of the water. Once the placenta was delivered the same midwife stitched me up. The room we were in had a bed and bathroom and it was ours until we were discharged, later that evening.
I am very aware that not everyone has the luxury of a straightforward vaginal birth and/or a midwife led unit.

For my c-section, I was admitted in to hospital the day before, husband couldn’t stay, so I was on my own on the ward.
The next morning I got taken down to theatre, husband was there waiting. I was in a little holding room, a few people came in and out to give me information and ask me questions (cannot for the life of me remember what they were). Husband then got taken away to get scrubbed up and I went in to the actual theatre. It was bright and busy with approx 8-12 people all doing their various jobs.
I was given the spinal block (numb from the nipples down), felt like I was going to collapse (blood pressure plummeted, not uncommon), my baby was born, spent about 30 minutes in recovery and then was wheeled on to the ward where there were 5 other women and their babies and relatives. I was discharged the next day.

I hope that helps in some small way!

Annfredandcharles · 01/11/2022 02:18

HeY! Sorry to jump on but you know you are allowed to drive as long as you feel okay (depending on insurance) I spoke to insurance and midwife both said okay after 2 weeks x

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