Work dilemma - newly pregnant

[KL921]

Hi everyone,

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. Very early days and I know a lot can happen (have had early miscarriages in the past so in no way counting my chickens!)

Even though we’d been trying this is quite bad timing as I recently got offered a temporary promotion at work. It’s a 12 month contract ironically filling a maternity leave.

The money will make a big difference to us especially as I think I would be going on Mat leave at the pay of the new role rather than my existing one.

But I’m just wondering when to tell my boss. I’m due to start the role in October, when if things go well I’ll be 10 weeks.

I’m thinking my options are:

A) Tell him in mid September before I start the role, when I will have had an early scan.

Pros: I’m being open and honest with him, he has as much time as possible to think about what to do, easier for him to support me

Cons: Risk that they might not let me start the new role (don’t know if this is possible!)

or

B) Wait to start the role and tell him after my 12 week scan

Pros: More security in that I’ll have started the new role

Cons: He won’t know to allow me time off for appointments, support me if I’m feeling ill (was v sick with DD), feel bad that it’s less time for him to work out what to do.

Sorry for the long post but just really interested in any views. I have a really good relationship with my boss and I know he’ll be disappointed I can’t see out the whole contract (so am I to be honest as it’s really shooting my career in the foot a bit) but that equally he has some experience of fertility issues so will be pleased for me personally.

Tell them after your 12 week scan. Don’t think of it as you biding your time for new role security. That’s not a factor. It is normal and common to wait until after first week scan, waiting until then implies nothing about you being weasely about new role (which I’m reading as your concern). A lot of people don’t dare consider themselves pregnant until 13 weeks.

I’m not pushing an angle here, I told my LMs as soon as I got the positive. Just stressing the point that it is very normal. I have a colleague who didn’t tell the business until 25weeks (when you have to tell them to qualify for stat mat and company benefits), also completely normal and no problem. We both had promotions in that time. I think businesses respect that each person deals with it in a different way.

Sorry for your previous losses and wishing you all the best for this pregnancy and your new role.

Thank you that’s helpful. Yes I’m worried that they’ll think I’m being manipulative or tricking them (although deep down I’m sure my boss won’t think that and if other colleagues do then it shouldn’t really bother me). I think I told him at around 9/10 weeks with my DS and that’s because I had a week off sick so I guess a couple more weeks doesn’t make that much difference.

I would go for the promotion and wait until after the 12 week scan and see how you feel before you tell them. I was very sick with my first, and then my second my sickness only lasted 2 weeks! So you might be fine

Personally, I would wait for the 12 week scan, that's generally the accepted norm for when to tell people. I had just started a new job when I found out I was pregnant and felt terrible, I wont even have been here 9 months when I take maternity leave but I still waited till 12 weeks to tell my manager (who was very supportive) just to make sure everything was ok. I've also lost a pregnancy at 12 weeks before so wanted to be 100% sure.

Personally I'd be tempted to wait until after the 20 week scan (unless there is any risks at work you might be concerned about).

I got offered a new job role just before I found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell them until after I started the job. Just about to go on mat leave, just a little less than 6 months after starting in the new role. Everyone's been great about it though

I definitely couldn’t wait until 20 weeks. 1) I would be showing and 2) I don’t think it’s fair to give them only 16/17 weeks to find someone to replace me (can take a while in my area of work). Also I would 100% have accidentally let something slip by then. Glad everyone has been great about yours, good luck with the rest of it!

I’d wait till your 12 week scan, that’s the norm anyway. If you are sick beforehand then u can always weigh it up again and decide if it’s worth telling them sooner. Fwiw I’m 21weeks and I haven’t told my work yet but this is for different reasons, I haven’t told anyone but my other half so far. Work are none the wiser. I plan to tell them next week but only because I have to by a certain date to get Mat leave. Hope telling your boss goes well! X

I'm in a very similar situation and am currently ~9 weeks. Wait till your 12 week scan! Your boss certainly can't withdraw the promotion once you tell them, as this would be illegal. Only exception I would think about telling early is if you're feeling sick like you did with your first and need time off. Although even in this case, your GP can write a letter for you and not state the full reason for your absence if you don't want them to.