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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Time off after miscarriage

25 replies

Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 22:05

Hi everyone,

I had a miscarriage weeks in January 2022, I took one week back and returned. It was way too early to return, I was physically and mentally up the left and my work suffered. I have just had another miscarriage at 7 weeks and I'm going to take some guilt free time off to recover this time.

Just curious how long did others take off work? I know everyone's different

OP posts:

Original poster

Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 22:07

*one week off

OP posts:

Bootsandcat · 18/08/2022 22:09

I took two weeks off and the GP signed me off

Ladyofthepeonies · 18/08/2022 22:11

This sounds bad but each time I took 2 weeks. but one I ended up taking 5 weeks as I also got bronchitis due to being operated on when I had a cold ( emergency surgery ), take the time that you need there’s no right or wrong answer.

houseofboy · 18/08/2022 22:13

I didn't I had my first at about 7 weeks on a Friday and went back on the Monday but was teaching then and seemed easier to be in work then setting work from home plus for me I needed to be busy. Second time was before I had me second and only worked 2 days a week and again decided I wanted to go straight back to work. For me though I was lucky each loss was followed by a pregnancy very quickly after that resulted in my children.

You need to do what is right for you and look after yourself. We all have different ways of coping and needing to take more time off than others doesn't matter. Sending hugs.

Chickoletta · 18/08/2022 22:17

As you say, everyone is different. If you need time off work, take it. I coped by throwing myself into my work and keeping busy. With hindsight, it was not necessarily the right thing.

wonderstuff · 18/08/2022 22:18

I had two weeks following mmc, after 2 weeks for sickness in the early weeks I felt I couldn’t take more, I was super run down and ended up getting flu, going back too soon after that and then having even more time off when I got another virus that floored me. Since then whenever I’m ill I take off the day when I feel I could drag myself in and only go back when I’m at least 90% better. I’ve never since needed anywhere near the amount of time off I had to take that year.

doobedooboom · 18/08/2022 22:19

Two weeks was the right amount of time for me. The physical side it took a while to settle down and I couldn't have focused on work while that was happening. Also a few days to myself finding some peace. I could have taken longer and it would have been better but also I wanted some structure back

Outlyingtrout · 18/08/2022 22:20

No time off for me. My first miscarriage (8 weeks) started while I was at work. I just got through the day in a bit of a daze and went home at the usual time. Second miscarriage (7 weeks) started at home and I went to work as usual the next day. It didn't occur to me to take time off work tbh. Not having a dig at anyone who choose to do so. It just genuinely didn't occur to me as an option. I'm not sure what I would have done at home that would have helped me. Work was a welcome distraction. I worked with children at the time so there wasn't a second during the day to think about anything really.

Cockerwalk · 18/08/2022 22:22

Half a day for mine last year but it was in the middle of GCSE and A-Level teacher assessed grading and I’m head of a core subject so felt like I had to be in really.

A bit graphic but I passed the pregnancy tissue in the loo and then went back in to a whole department meeting that I was leading. Surreal looking back on it.

I’m now happily in my third trimester with DC2.

Original poster

Fairygarden1992 · 18/08/2022 22:25

@Cockerwalk you are a trooper for that! Congrats on your pregnancy x

OP posts:

drumroll · 18/08/2022 22:30

For my first miscarriage I took 2 weeks off. Mostly because I opted for surgical management and couldn't drive for a bit.

For my second miscarriage I had about 4 weeks off work. I found out there was no heartbeat on Xmas Eve and for whatever reason it just hurt so much more the second time . I think I believed that I wouldn't be unlucky enough for it to happen twice. Again opted for surgical management and needed some recovery time.

Do whatever feels best for you. Everybody's experience is different .

Cockerwalk · 18/08/2022 22:32

@Fairygarden1992 I don’t think I’d have done it in any other circumstance! I’ve had women in my team at work take 4 plus weeks and that was equally fine: I think you’ve got to do what feels right 😊

Margo34 · 18/08/2022 22:43

3 days off for my first MC.
1 day off for my second MC.
0 days off for my third MC - passed pregnancy tissue in the school (work) loo then walked back into class.

My third MC I didn't deal with well at all with hindsight, I convinced myself it was inevitable and I deserved it so I should just power through and plod on. For me personally, each time I felt like my body was letting me down, I didn't want to also have the feeling of letting other people down which is just my personality whenever I take a sick day. And I was just stewing and feeling sorry for myself at home that first MC which didn't feel like it was helping me either.

lazarusb · 18/08/2022 22:55

I managed a commercial kitchen when I had my two miscarriages. The first time I refused to go back until I had stopped bleeding and my GP was happy to sign me off (about 3 weeks). The second time I had a breakdown (had 2 close family bereavements as well as 2 losses within a year) so was off for about 6 weeks.

Take care, take as long as you need and ask your GP to sign you off as long as necessary.

buntywindermere · 18/08/2022 23:00

I'd already had two weeks off due to severe vomiting, before we found out it was a MMC. Then waited two weeks before deciding on medical management, then had a further two weeks off after I'd passed the pregnancy. I felt like I'd been off forever, and going back was hard, but there was no way I was initially physically and then emotionally able to be anywhere other than in bed.

Suprima · 18/08/2022 23:01

7 weeks- an entire half term at school (teacher)

I had positive pregnancy tests for weeks after my misoprostol, retained tissue, a pelvic infection and was really, really sad.

School had enough of my unpaid time and energy for me to grieve my baby and heal for as long as I needed.

LuckyMoonstone · 18/08/2022 23:10

I was signed off for 2 weeks after a second trimester MC. I requested another week as I didn’t feel ready to return. In hindsight, 3 weeks was absolutely not enough time. Looking back I can’t even believe now that I went to work and tried to carry on doing my job less than a month after such a traumatic event. I really should have taken longer off, going back early resulted in me practically having a breakdown at work. I feel very sad that I put myself through that because I felt guilty about missing work.

smileandsing · 18/08/2022 23:22

I didn't take time off the first time, I used work as a distraction.
The second time was a ruptured ectopic so I had a few weeks off to recover from the surgery, I needed time to get over the shock of what happened and the mental impact of the loss too.
Take whatever time you need, everyone is different. Sorry for your loss

Summergarden · 18/08/2022 23:46

When I had a Mmc at 13 weeks I couldn’t bear the thought of going to work and carrying on as normal until I’d passed the pregnancy remains. I needed that to happen to mentally move on. So spent 3 days feeling very melancholy and grieving the loss, then had surgery to remove it and felt ready to return to work the next day.

Keeping busy actually helped me and distracted me from ruminating over it. I was also conscious that the longer I took off work, the more colleagues would wonder why and gossip and I wanted to keep TTC my private business.

LizzieBet14 · 18/08/2022 23:57

2 weeks - I had an emergency D&C. It took a week for the physical pain to heal & another week to stop crying..... (but still cried on my way into work for a long time after that too)

Iggi999 · 19/08/2022 00:09

It's so individual. Sometimes the pain would be too bad to work. You could lose the baby over a period of days, or in an operation, which would also need recovery time.
Some jobs would be easier to do if you broke down at some point in the day.
Anyone else noticed the amount of women on the thread who are teachers?

Pinktruffle · 19/08/2022 09:30

I had just lost my grandma so was already in an emotional state, I then lost my pregnancy at 12 weeks so took it quite hard. I had 2 weeks off, went back to school (seems to be lots of us who work in education) and then had a massive breakdown in my office. I did half days for the remainder of that week and then was back full time.

Oneforposy7 · 19/08/2022 10:05

Two weeks off with 8 week loss and 4 weeks off with ectopic requiring emergency surgery. I didn't take time off with early loss at 5 weeks.

Jaaxe · 19/08/2022 20:32

Take as long as you need, nobody will judge you and if they do they are heartless. Hope you are ok x

Goodnewsday · 19/08/2022 20:39

So sorry, haven’t experienced this but totally take as much time off as you need. My cousin had one and took only a day off then was back at work acting like everything was okay. I’m sure that’s what some people want to do but for me I just don’t think I could. A girl at my work lost her baby at 20 weeks and was off for almost 2 months then came back. Even that I don’t think would be long enough for me. I have such a public job too so lots of people knew she was pregnant and will have mentioned it when she came back 😞 I say take as long as you need!

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