How to deal with pregnancy anxiety?

[Happycroc]

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for any advice, tips and tricks on how to deal with a overriding feeling of anxiety since getting a positive pregnancy test a week ago.

A bit of background, DC1 5yo, was conceived almost first month trying. I then had 3 miscarriages in 6 months and then nothing for many, many months TTC. Following a referral we found that DH had a very low sperm count and we were advised to have IVF (in fact when we got to the clinic his count was even lower and se we had to have ICSI). My first fresh cycle in 2020 resulted in DC2 22months.

This year has been a rollercoaster, 1 failed transfer, a hysteroscopy and a failed FET in June/ July and then, by some crazy miracle, I fell naturally the following cycle. Many tests later I’m still not sure I really believe it!

My first pregnancy was amazing, I was naive and never thought anything other than a baby came after seeing those two lines. Unfortunately, experiences since have left me an anxious mess, all I can think about all day is something going wrong.

I met a lady at the public swimming pool yesterday who told me, within moments of meeting, she is pregnant with number 3. I asked when she was due and she replied “I don’t know, I did one of those weeks tests a week or two ago and it said 1-2 weeks so I’m probably about 6 or 7 weeks”. She was so relaxed about telling a stranger that she was expecting, I won’t even tell my family with thoughts I’d jinx it.

Has anyone got any advice on how to chill out?! Or any podcasts/ books/ anything to help ease my mind?

Many thanks to you all x

@Happycroc

I am feeling the same.

I am already having telephone sessions with talking therapies. They do give you good tips but it's still very hard.
Especially when some situation you can't control and there are some you can and put a plan of action in place.
The ones where you feel I don't know and you are left in limbo. Just take it day by day. Trying to keep busy but keep talking to your midwife.

I haven't told my parents but told some friends and my manager.

thanks @Scorpio8 I haven’t referred to a midwife yet, still feel it’s too early/ I’ll jinx it if I do. It also doesn’t help that a year ago we relocated to the midlands from the south coast and so I’m not entirely sure of the process/ care in our new area. I would gladly do the 6 hour round trip to my old midwife (who was with me through both of my pregnancies/ miscarriages) but that’s unrealistic!

@Happycroc hiya I just stumbled on your message after feeling a little anxious myself. How far are you into your pregnancy? Are you able to pay for private scan when you’re at the stage you can? I had one at around 7 weeks it put my mind at ease a little, I'm 9+ 1 now but I do feel a little uneasy since the scan (ie is everything ok still) I have a 2.5 year old so he keeps me busy during the day but evenings I start to get anxious ( ps im from south coast) :) x

Hi @Tilly32,

thanks for posting and congratulations on your pregnancy!

I’m 6 weeks today and I’ve got a private scan booked next week. As I was previously referred for recurrent miscarriages I thought the GP would be more helpful but, because we are living in a completely different area of the country, (I was previously south coast) I don’t know who to contact.

I got a 3+ on a clear blue test on Friday morning (I know it’s not a complete science but that was semi reassuring). If we see a heartbeat next week then I might start thinking more positively.

my sister is currently staying with us (having moved abroad in 2019 she hasn’t been able to do a return visit because of covid etc) and I felt I had to tell her which instantly made me think I’d jinxed it. I was talking with her yesterday and said 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage which means that 3 in 4 are ok but I don’t feel 75% positive, I feel about 10%

symptom wise I am thirsty and probably peeing more than usual but even if I don’t need a wee for a couple of hours I start to worry! I almost wish I had constant, awful morning sickness! How are you symptom wise?

I completely agree, running around during the day is easier than the evenings! I don’t even have a good series we’re into at the moment!! Any suggestions?!!

@Happycroc Wow you've been through it!

I had a miscarriage in March after months of TTC. We agreed to wait until after Christmas this year before TTC again. However, I caught again in April (not planned). I'm currently 20 weeks and that anxiety still hasn't left me. I should be overjoyed and excited I've been given this opportunity again but I just cant. I shared my anxieties with the Midwife who is great but nothing she says puts the anxiety to bay. Unfortunately, after loss I don't think we relax until baby is in our arms.

Recite the below affirmations when your anxiety gets too much. They reminded me to stop being so hard on myself and relived it slightly.

1. I completely love and trust my body.
2. I will birth a beautiful and healthy baby.

Sorry I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know your not alone with these feelings. Be kind to yourself.

Good Luck and Congratulations!

Hi @Laurzz

thank you for your reply, I missed it as I’ve been trying to bury my head in the sand! Congratulations on your pregnancy 🙂

in the past week I have talked to the midwife team at the local hospital, who was very lovely, she said that they could arrange an early scan but they wouldn’t do this until 8 weeks. I didn’t tell her I had a private scan booked for this week because I thought I’d see how that goes.

private scan is tomorrow and honestly the past week feels like the longest week in history. I had a horrid dream last night when the sonographer said they couldn’t find a heartbeat but I had to come back in two weeks which has not helped my anxiety.

I also keep seeing just one magpie everywhere I go! I mean come on, where’s your mate!!! (Obviously reading far too much into everything!)

I’m still waking to wee in the night, ultra thirsty, I’ve been feeling insanely hungry but also slightly sick at the same time… all of these should be reassuring but I’m still stressed out ☹️

anyone got a crystal ball?!