Pregnant and terrified

[Fedupmum21]

I can’t believe I’m even writing this. I have a three year old who I was 11 days late with, emergency caesarean due to maternal sepsis and baby had sepsis too but was all ok. Second baby was born at 28 weeks due to severe pre eclampsia (same father), she’s not long turned 1. It’s been hell, she’s doing great now but it was hell and we vowed we wouldn’t have another. I was car sick yesterday so DH said your not pregnant are you, I did a test today and it came up an immediately positive. I’ve always had irregular periods, my last period (first post partum period due to BF) was 30th March. I’ve put that into a due date calendar and it’s saying I could be 19 weeks pregnant. I’m sick with worry. I can’t do another premature baby again. It was hell. I’m not over it. I don’t think my body has recovered. Clear blue dating test is saying I’m 5 weeks plus. I don’t know how far I am. I can’t think straight and don’t know what to do. I’m terrified I’m going to die from pre eclampsia and leave my two kids with no mum. I can’t stop crying.

have you been using contraception?

First thing first, you need to find out how far along you are.
Then you can make decisions for going forward.
But there is nothing to say that this pregnancy will be the same as the others.

@Whattodooo90 Using condoms as hormonal contraceptives haven’t always agreed with me, with the intention that Dh would have the snip.

If you're just getting symptoms now, you may still be early op. Remember you always have options. Definitely get yourself booked in for a scan to see how far along you are and then you can start discussing what to do.

@TheCutter we haven’t had sex in quite a few weeks (I’ve started back at work
and both knackered from two kids and working full time) so I must be quite a few weeks. It’s not the thought of another baby, we are financially stable etc we would make three work it’s honestly how scared I am of pregnancy I almost died my kidneys and liver were shutting down I was incredibly poorly and my daughter was obviously in NICU for a long time it was hell I can’t do it again I know no two pregnancies are the same but no one can say if I will get it again or not and I’m terrified. I was on my own in hospital maternity HDU (covid rules) as my BP went uncontrollable despite them pumping me with medication and I had the worst headache of my life and flashing lights and I felt like I was leaving the hospital in a box and I was never going to see my daughter again I can’t do it again I’m terrified I leave my babies without a mother