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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How to get to hospital when in labour?

97 replies

Homeinwales · 14/08/2022 17:32

I’m wondering if anyone can give me some advice, I’m a first time mum and I’m 35 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner were going to go to the FMU which would take us no longer than 20-30 minutes to get too however my consultant and midwife has encouraged me to go to a hospital. Our local hospital where the FMU is, closed down their maternity units so the closest hospital is about 15 miles or so. Me and my partner don’t drive my parents live hundreds of miles away and the only people who drive in my partners family is his mum and sister. Our relationship with his mum is strained and his sister has a child of her own. How do we get to the hospital when I go into labour? The taxi service here is hit and miss. Sometimes you can’t get a taxi at all and when you do it’s extortionate. Looking at about £30-£40 to get to the hospital that’s not including my partner having to make his way back home after the birth to get the car seat and making his way back to the hospital and then us and the baby getting back home. On public transport it’s about an hour and a half from where we live and again after a certain time all public transport goes off and the timings are spotty sometimes waiting an hour for a bus. I have no idea what to do because In taxi fairs it’s gonna cost us almost £120 and it’s just money we can’t afford to pull out

OP posts:

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birdling · 14/08/2022 18:50

You may well be in hospital for a few days, especially if this is your first baby. In which case your partner will need to go home again before you do. Could he not come back on public transport with the car seat when you and baby are ready to go home?
It would only be one taxi cost then.

BobMortimersPocketMeat · 14/08/2022 18:52

Ebonyhorse · 14/08/2022 18:13

your partner has time to do an accelerated driving course. It sounds like you can’t manage without it.

If they can’t find the money for a taxi fare, then I doubt an intensive driving course and the cost of a car are going to magically appear in the coming 5 weeks.

Original poster

Homeinwales · 14/08/2022 18:59

Thank you everyone who has given me good advice. I have an appointment this week coming up so will raise this with my midwife and consultant at the appointment and see if my midwife can point us in the right direction as we obviously need a plan sorted out. We moved into a small apartment complex and our neighbours are either elderly or very antisocial and don’t speak to anyone else int he apartment complex even when we have tried to start conversations but again I will raise this with the midwife and hopefully be able to sort it out

OP posts:

calmandcaffinated · 14/08/2022 19:21

I'm sorry you are having a hard time and not getting much support from people on here. It's unhelpful saying you should have learned to drive or that you should have thought of this before having the baby, as many of us have difficult circumstances that means life doesn't always go to plan.

I wonder if there is a 'here to help' fb group you could get in contact with. I expect someone from a local organisation would be able to support. Also speak to your midwife as they might be aware of some help also.

Sorry you're in this situation. I only learned to drive a few years ago and if I had fallen pregnant before I would have been at the mercy of DH being available as we were new to the area too.

Good luck and hope you sort it out.

Goldbar · 14/08/2022 19:22

Ask your neighbours. Post on your local FB site or nextdoor. Someone will be happy to help. You could offer to cover their petrol costs.

Maireas · 14/08/2022 19:26

Also, ask at the local church. The community is always willing to help, even if you're not a member of the congregation.

HappyGoDucky · 14/08/2022 19:31

Ebonyhorse · 14/08/2022 18:13

your partner has time to do an accelerated driving course. It sounds like you can’t manage without it.

Erm, driving lessons are like hens teeth since covid and the wait for a test don't get me started. The OP clearly can't afford a car, insurance or fuel either.

LilacPoppy · 14/08/2022 19:40

@happinesslovescompany it's a tiny amount compared to the 18 plus years cost of raising a child. 0.05% if you take two taxis at £40 each and the average cost of £160k.

pastabest · 14/08/2022 19:48

if you lost your job because of your severe morning sickness OP then have you been in touch with pregnant then screwed or Acas?

IVbumble · 14/08/2022 19:49

Maybe speak to your midwife about the possibility of a home birth.

Maireas · 14/08/2022 19:52

LilacPoppy · 14/08/2022 19:40

@happinesslovescompany it's a tiny amount compared to the 18 plus years cost of raising a child. 0.05% if you take two taxis at £40 each and the average cost of £160k.

Who has £160k or whatever at the outset? You spend bit by bit.
Taxi fare is a big outgoing if you're on a tight budget. It doesn't mean that you can't raise a child.

Ponderingwindow · 14/08/2022 19:54

Frankly, I would ignore any admonishment from the staff about the car seat. Yes, in an ideal world it would be sitting in a car, but your situation isn’t ideal.

I would plan for a taxi and also have Uber and any other rides are apps loaded on your phone in the hopes that one of them will be able to provide a ride to the hospital when the time comes. Getting home will be easier because you won’t be in as much of a rush . You may not physically be up for public transit, but you will also be able to wait at the hospital until you can arrange something.

I would also make sure your partner researches all possible public transit routes for various times just in case he does need to use them to go back home to get something. It will be calmer if he has planned it our now that yes, it takes forever, but there is a bizarre round trip available home at 3am on a Monday morning. Or if there are complete dead blocks, having those charted will be good to know.

Sandcastlesinthesky · 14/08/2022 20:01

My mum calmly called an ambulance after doing her hair and putting her makeup on. That was 25 years ago though. Think it would be frowned upon these days. With my first neither me or my husband drive. I planned to get a taxi. Called taxi which just didn’t come. In a panic banged on next door who kindly drove me. Baby was crowning as I walked onto the ward. You need to have someone or ideally a couple of people you could call really for when you go into labour.

GretaVanFleet · 14/08/2022 20:04

Most hospitals have a volunteer driving service. Check with your hospital if they can help.

PlanningTowns · 14/08/2022 20:12

I totally understand your situation but not quite sure what you are wanting. The only viable options are to ask someone else or taxi. Of course ask your midwife but not sure what they will suggest. Do remember that you won’t be the first new mum in this situation.

if your consultant recommends a certain location do listen to them. If they recommended hospital then I would not suggest that a home birth is a good alternative (I have a very sad reason to say that).

also you will have to time going in right so you’re not sent home again. You don’t have to leave but you won’t be in your own room and most likely a waiting room of pre labour ward. Talk to your midwife about this.

I guess one option is an elective c section so you know the date and can book a taxi, but a bit extreme for transport! But probably gives you the most certainty.

the other thing is you may need to stay in - I unexpectedly did for 5 days, so you may have to factor additional visits in.

it will work out.

MercuryOnTheRise · 14/08/2022 20:13

A few things op.

Do take the advice of an obstetric consultant above that of a midwife.

If the obstetric consultant says you need to give birth in a fully functioning hospital you need to do so.

If your baby needs to be born in hospital for their and your safety, if your dh can't get you there due either to non driving, or lack of funds, you absolutely are entitled to a maternity ambulance.

If your baby needs paediatric care after birth, the hospital/ss will help you with transport.

Take care.

Ottersmith · 14/08/2022 20:28

Isn't it a bit old fashioned to think they can tell baby size on scans? Mostly they are wearing I thought. I think you should go to the local hospital and if they need to transfer you to the other hospital they bloody well can. Why is it that women in labour should expect to get no help at all like they've just cut their finger?

Lots of people don't have a car, especially in cities. I don't, because it's 2022 and the planet is fuckin dying and they are expensive to run and it's stupid to expect people to just have a car. Services should be there for people to get to hospital when in labour. I'm in the same position as you and the hospital put me in touch with a charity with Doulas who help and they might be able to drive me. But I'm in another country and a big city so maybe not relevant.

I would say go to the local hospital and bring the car seat. Just expecting people to have a car is elitist and ignorant.

mummyh2016 · 14/08/2022 20:31

You can't rely on an ambulance at the moment even if you have a cardiac arrest so I would ignore those posters advising you are able to call an ambulance. Yes you can but it will be another story altogether if it actually arrives.
If you can't get a lift off anyone I would leave for the hospital via public transport as soon as you feel your labour is starting. If it's your first baby it's unlikely labour will be that quick and if you leave straight away hopefully your journey won't be too bad! Or could you stretch to a taxi for some of the journey?
Download Uber as they occasionally have discounts, just last night I was out with some friends and they had a random 40% off on their account and we didn't, I was gutted!
Do you have a local fb group for where you live? If so could it be worth asking on there? A taxi may cost you £40 but you might find someone on a village fb page who will drop you off for free or for fuel costs which could be like £10 or something for a round trip.
Don't worry about the car seat. The shortest time you will be at hospital for after giving birth will be 6 hours - I'd leave it at home and then send your partner back for it on public transport. Would you be better with a pram anyway if bringing the baby home on public transport as baby isn't supposed to be in a car seat for long?

Alexandria94 · 14/08/2022 20:35

Hi OP, I had hyperemesis throughout my pregnancy (sick until the day I gave birth!) so I understand how much that wears on you. Couple that with moving to a new area with no family support, it sounds difficult. I'm not sure why people are responding so harshly. Ridiculous to suggest you or DP learning to drive within a few weeks when you are on a limited income.

I think calling an ambulance if you are in labour and feel like there is no time to get to the hospital is totally understandable. Obviously it isn't a first choice and every other option should be exhausted.

I wouldn't suggest taking your newborn home using public transport, so if you could afford a taxi to the hospital and then arrange for DPs family to collect you with the baby, I think that is the best option. Regardless of any bad relationship, you'll be so worn out and focussed on the baby that you can overlook any hostility for that journey home and you'll be thankful for it. My MIL dropped me off from the hopsital and then stayed for 10 hours. So at least they wouldn't hang around if there was any hostility. Drop and go sounds like a dream scenario.

Good luck OP, all that sickness will seem worthwhile when you hold your baby :)

Ishacoco · 14/08/2022 20:36

I have no useful suggestions, but just wanted to add that if someone approached me for help in this situation I would be more than happy to help.

Ishacoco · 14/08/2022 20:36

And yes, ignore them about the car seat. Put yourselves first.

BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 14/08/2022 20:36

I live in London, all my friends and I took taxis. We took car seat with us for the way back. It's pretty standard.

8DPWoah · 14/08/2022 20:40

OP at your appointment ask about the likelihood of being induced as if you've got an SGA baby I would say that is quite probably what will be recommended, it certainly was for me in both of mine (not that one was, so the plan changed). That will help with the planning possibly as you wouldn't then be in labour when travelling, which might make it easier to ask for a lift etc from someone you perhaps don't know well, as it will just be a 'normal' drive for someone, not a pressured one.

Just a thought that nobody else has mentioned yet as a possibility.

Toddlerteaplease · 14/08/2022 20:42

LilacPoppy · 14/08/2022 18:04

Whoever told you that you can't take a car seat on the ward is taking rubbish.

Absolutely. Of course you can take it. In the unlikely event that anyone complains, just explain the situation.

Gunpowder · 14/08/2022 21:03

Ugh I hate the ‘you should have thought of this before you got pregnant’ sanctimonious messages. They are so unhelpful. I’m so sorry you have this added stress OP. It sounds like you have had a tough time and don’t have much support. Are there any antenatal groups locally you could join? It might be good to build up a network of people to meet with when you have your baby. It’s hard if you are isolated. With regard to getting there, I would maybe post a message on your local forum or Facebook group. There might be a woman who would give you a lift, I would absolutely help a neighbour who needed a lift in this situation. Otherwise I would recommend calling round taxi firms now to find out which ones operate all hours of the night and explain your situation to them.

Btw if you don’t have a car and there’s reliable public transport home you don’t need a car seat. We didn’t have a car with my first baby and I took her home in a sling. (We lived close enough to walk but otherwise I would have got the bus.)

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